Loretta m Posted February 18, 2020 Share Posted February 18, 2020 I'm 55 he's 69.been in a relationship 15 years. He told me a couple days ago that he didnt love me anymore but cares for me and that He has feelings for his 67 y/o classmate whom he has been driving around for 2 months because she developed cataracts and cant see. Said he didnt intend for this to happen he needs time to sort through his feelings for her..do I give him time, if so how long? Could he be confusing true feelings with sympathy? Do I accept and try and move on? How can he throw away 15 years for 3 weeks of uncertainty? PLEASE HELP 1 Link to post Share on other sites
S2B Posted February 18, 2020 Share Posted February 18, 2020 Just don’t see him anymore. you shouldn’t have to beg any man to live you. if you live together move immediately. If not, don’t contact him any further. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loretta m Posted February 18, 2020 Author Share Posted February 18, 2020 @S2B how do I move on ?this was out of the blue.no warning no nothing. We live in a small town..everyone knows everyone...I'm feeling embarrassed, hurt, mad..we attend same church in same organizations, my 2 daughters love him he loves them, hes my grandsons godfather..so how can I get over it when hes always going to be where I am.. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 18, 2020 Share Posted February 18, 2020 1 hour ago, Loretta m said: @S2B how do I move on ?this was out of the blue.no warning no nothing. We live in a small town..everyone knows everyone...I'm feeling embarrassed, hurt, mad..we attend same church in same organizations, my 2 daughters love him he loves them, hes my grandsons godfather..so how can I get over it when hes always going to be where I am.. The same way everyone else who's ended a long-term relationship or marriage: time, and as much space as humanly possible. I don't say that to be insensitive, to be clear. No doubt you are hurting terribly right now, and understandably so. However, rest assured, there are ways to heal even when an ex is very present in your life/surroundings. I don't think he's confusing sympathy for real feelings, but there is something causing him inner conflict. How was your relationship going prior to this revelation? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Loretta m Posted February 18, 2020 Author Share Posted February 18, 2020 @S2B..the relationship was just fine or so I thought. There was nothing that would have caused me to see that coming...no red flags or nothing. We were still laughing enjoying each others company, sex was still hot everything that a great relationship should be Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted February 18, 2020 Share Posted February 18, 2020 He's a savior. He needs the feeling that someone is totally dependent on him. It's an internal need he's satisfying. My Aunt told me about a man at her workplace who wanted to marry her because he felt she needed someone to take care of her. His wife had recently died from cancer. He obviously didn't know my aunt that well, as she was very capable of taking care of herself. He went on to marry someone else that also had cancer and helped her. He was a savior. Link to post Share on other sites
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