MeadowFlower Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 Do ya'll think it's true that the more mainstream you are, then the more likely you are to find a partner? Whereas if you're different in whatever ways then it's likely to be more difficult to find someone? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 Being male l can really only speak from my view but l'm very different have been my whole life and the type of woman l go for is a 1 in millions too l couldn't care less about the rest but , that's never really been a problem tbh . l could spot her in a field of 1000s so l have no need or interest in bothering with the rest. So , l think it's fine you'll just need the eye and instinct to spot him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: Do ya'll think it's true that the more mainstream you are, then the more likely you are to find a partner? Whereas if you're different in whatever ways then it's likely to be more difficult to find someone? No and No Very much the opposite. I found as well that the more mainstream the more stereotypical issues. At least when outside the mainstream is more on the progressive side and at least in the US. Edited February 19, 2020 by SumGuy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted February 19, 2020 Share Posted February 19, 2020 Depends on the level and type of "Unique" you are. AND... your age. When I was young... I could date a goth, or someone who was a free spirit, because I wasn't looking for a "Happily ever after" back then. But now... I'm guessing I would have issues with that since I'm looking as any relationship having staying ability. Yes... I'm back into the dating world, but I don't have the energy and drive to just randomly date, for the sake of dating. I'm very certain that I will probably go through a bunch of girls before finding my next "Love". But I'm not going out with the sole reason of "Going out." Honestly... your question is too vague to give a real answer. But I hope the above gives my mindset. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
melonmint57 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 To a degree I do think mainstream= more likely to find a partner. Just based on my experience, those looking for a more traditional lifestyle generally tend to find it and progress along that path. By traditional lifestyle I mean getting married, buying a house together and starting a family, etc. Even if the situation isn't ideal, I feel as though some people think they need to accomplish certain steps by certain ages or there's something wrong with them. Of course that's simply not the case (At least in my mind.) I personally would be interested in a long-term committed relationship, but find most men initially act as though my non-traditional ways don't bother them and it turns into a pain point down the road. Or they simply think I will change my mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Yes I suppose at they would say in a soap opera, mainstream couples with their perfect little lives smelling of sunshine etc, it seems to be easier for them alright , or as often mentioned here the workplace chat about kids activities and things- is that a fair reflection of society everywhere - I dont know maybe it is. Yes if your different I suppose in being a bit of a loner or not one of the crowd it ought to be naturally harder to find partners, Probably what I have found difficult over the years is while I am "somewhat mainstream" on the surface, in reality I am more quirky, so in terms of finding women or indeed people at all that I really gel with- that has proved a challenge, Ive noticed in recent years though meeting women who I love been around and so on (not saying that is mutual or anything!) so when you meet someone who you can share and enjoy the quirks with, then you are in business so to speak. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 I'm as much of an oddball as you can find and I am in a happy marriage. My wife says I am certainly unique and she loves that about me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 18 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: Do ya'll think it's true that the more mainstream you are, then the more likely you are to find a partner? Whereas if you're different in whatever ways then it's likely to be more difficult to find someone? yes I would agree, in general Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 Yeah, it’s not just partners, though. It’s friends or anything else. 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 20, 2020 Author Share Posted February 20, 2020 8 hours ago, melonmint57 said: I personally would be interested in a long-term committed relationship, but find most men initially act as though my non-traditional ways don't bother them and it turns into a pain point down the road. Or they simply think I will change my mind. What are your nontraditional ways? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 20, 2020 Author Share Posted February 20, 2020 My views are quite different about some things, and I'm very strong in them. So.. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 No. What does "mainstream" versus "unique" even mean? I don't think I've heard those categories outside of high school. Everyone, even people who exclusively ingest popular culture, is unique. As far as opinions go, the internet has proven there's a receptive audience for everything out there. But if you're finding that many people are turned off by your "quite different" and "very strong" views, that may be something worth thinking about. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 lt doesn't matter if you know how to recognize it in a man, if that's what you'd like, yeah he'll be far rarer than any other, but that's actually why eyes and senses should spot him at a glance and often also even land you both in the same types of places so that you might meet. For instance l have a very good friend from ls , l saw her here a few years ago and l knew from the very first post of hers l ever saw , we were both what we are and we've been very special friends ever since. But she'd be the only female l've seen here or relate to in our ways ever. But it was easy to spot. My woman l met on a date site way back when , she was only one of 2 or 3 out of 1000s, that interested me at all, but her most of all of that 2 or 3. She only had 2 lines on her page , but what was in those 2 lines summed up exactly what we're both about. So yeah , it is harder imo , but at the same time sort of easier. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 11 hours ago, melonmint57 said: To a degree I do think mainstream= more likely to find a partner. Just based on my experience, those looking for a more traditional lifestyle generally tend to find it and progress along that path. By traditional lifestyle I mean getting married, buying a house together and starting a family, etc. Even if the situation isn't ideal, I feel as though some people think they need to accomplish certain steps by certain ages or there's something wrong with them. Of course that's simply not the case (At least in my mind.) I personally would be interested in a long-term committed relationship, but find most men initially act as though my non-traditional ways don't bother them and it turns into a pain point down the road. Or they simply think I will change my mind. Funny that , women are famous for doing that exact thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 (edited) Like if you’re a social conservative that hates Trump, you believe in 911 was an inside job but don’t believe chem trails, don’t like shaving your legs or taking showers often, and put ketchup on your ice cream, you’re going to have a harder time finding people who like you than your average person. Makes sense I guess Edited February 20, 2020 by Cookiesandough 3 Link to post Share on other sites
melonmint57 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 4 hours ago, MeadowFlower said: What are your nontraditional ways? I still value a committed relationship, but have no interest in getting married or having children. Link to post Share on other sites
melonmint57 Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 2 hours ago, chillii said: Funny that , women are famous for doing that exact thing. You're absolutely right. It can go both ways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 20, 2020 Author Share Posted February 20, 2020 3 hours ago, melonmint57 said: I still value a committed relationship, but have no interest in getting married or having children. Me too, me too! In regards to I don't want to have kids. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 20, 2020 Author Share Posted February 20, 2020 (edited) 6 hours ago, lana-banana said: No. What does "mainstream" versus "unique" even mean? I don't think I've heard those categories outside of high school. Everyone, even people who exclusively ingest popular culture, is unique. As far as opinions go, the internet has proven there's a receptive audience for everything out there. But if you're finding that many people are turned off by your "quite different" and "very strong" views, that may be something worth thinking about. Mainstream, as in your standard 21st century viewpoints, or even just your standard human veiw point lol. Like most women and men want children. I know there are some who don't, but this can be a big deal aka a deal breaker for some men. So that drops down the dating pool. Edited February 20, 2020 by MeadowFlower Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted February 20, 2020 Share Posted February 20, 2020 I agree. Depends how you mean mainstream, which varies by culture and age, maybe race. "Birds of a feather flock together". It's ancient saying, still true. Robins don't fly with wrens. The more different or unique you are, your chances are less. But this depends in what way you are unique If it is something very important, such as sexuality, appearance,personality. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 23, 2020 Author Share Posted February 23, 2020 I'm also super, like SUPER, fussy with germs in some cases, so if I am to have a special someone, then I need him to be really hygienic, or at least be willing to line up. Let's face it, there aren't a heap of super hygienic people in the world. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 On 2/19/2020 at 12:49 AM, MeadowFlower said: Do ya'll think it's true that the more mainstream you are, then the more likely you are to find a partner? Whereas if you're different in whatever ways then it's likely to be more difficult to find someone? I don't. I truly believe that there is a "person" for everyone. Sometimes, it just takes longer to find that person than we want. On 2/22/2020 at 8:22 PM, MeadowFlower said: I'm also super, like SUPER, fussy with germs in some cases, so if I am to have a special someone, then I need him to be really hygienic, or at least be willing to line up. Let's face it, there aren't a heap of super hygienic people in the world. I am with you on this Meadow. Poor hygiene is not attractive to me in the slightest. So, I guess that I am somewhat fussy in that regard as well and how I keep my appearance. Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 25, 2020 Share Posted February 25, 2020 On 2/20/2020 at 7:20 AM, Cookiesandough said: Like if you’re a social conservative that hates Trump, you believe in 911 was an inside job but don’t believe chem trails, don’t like shaving your legs or taking showers often, and put ketchup on your ice cream, you’re going to have a harder time finding people who like you than your average person. Makes sense I guess Ketchup on ice cream???????????? That was going too far 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MeadowFlower Posted February 26, 2020 Author Share Posted February 26, 2020 14 hours ago, simpycurious said: I don't. I truly believe that there is a "person" for everyone. Sometimes, it just takes longer to find that person than we want. I am with you on this Meadow. Poor hygiene is not attractive to me in the slightest. So, I guess that I am somewhat fussy in that regard as well and how I keep my appearance. I HATE when people don't wash their hands properly with soap after using the toilet. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 27 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: I HATE when people don't wash their hands properly with soap after using the toilet. On 2/22/2020 at 9:22 PM, MeadowFlower said: I'm also super, like SUPER, fussy with germs in some cases, so if I am to have a special someone, then I need him to be really hygienic, or at least be willing to line up. Let's face it, there aren't a heap of super hygienic people in the world. 27 minutes ago, MeadowFlower said: Not to be disagreeable but I've met quite a few men who are hygienic. That's the only kind I'll date. Link to post Share on other sites
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