Scheduling hiccup

[Pastypop]

I might created a problem that could turn into a big mess because of my forgetfulness.  Long story short, we have been no contact and estranged from my husband’s family for many years.  Since his parents are 77 and approaching their 80’s he would like to reconcile the relationship.  I’m not really on board with it, but it’s his family and doesn’t concern me.  As long as it doesn’t bleed over into my marriage it’s OK.   
His plan is to take the kids to see them while he would be there for his high school reunion. He would like to take them to his parents house.  His grown siblings and their large families live with them as well.(Yes, failure to launch in their 50’s) My teenagers are not comfortable being around his siblings and families and two of them do not ever want to go back to that house again but, are agreeable to meeting the grandparents somewhere else. So far, my husband has not reached out to his parents or purchased tickets to the reunion which is in two months.  So here is the problem.  Last weekend, I signed up for an awesome non-refundable seminar 5 hours from my house. I thought hey,  this is a good time to take this class and the weather won’t be too hot yet since it’s mostly outside. Well guess what? That class is at the same time as the reunion.  Somehow, I completely forgot about that.  So now what I should I do?  I don’t want my husband thinking I did this on purpose because in all honestly, I forgot they were at the same time.  My kids are teenagers, one 18, and would fine at home so we could both go on our own trips but he will probably want to take them with him.  Since I would not be going, he would stay at his parents house which two of my kids have said they do not want to do.  Could I take them with me and have them stay in the hotel all weekend?  Do hotels care if they are older?  I’m hoping the reunion slips his mind and he forgets about it but, he’s in the reunion Facebook group so I don’t see that happening. Any advice on what to do?  I don’t plan on bringing any of that up at all until he does.  Wish I wouldn’t have forgotten because I don’t want this getting twisted into some sort control issue. 

[preraph]

Do hotels charge if they're older?  If they're not kids, sure.  But you could still get one big room, probably.  

 

If your kids aren't comfortable around this group and your husband is estranged, seems to me he'd want to go do this alone because it isn't going to be pretty.  

[d0nnivain]

How much money do you stand to lose if you skip the seminar?  If it's not that much & your husband isn't OK with you not going, whatever you lose in money is still less then the cost of losing your marriage.

However, I would look for a hotel near your ILs & the reunion.  Tell your husband that you will book it for him & the kids because the kids don't want to stay with extended family.  Sell your husband on proximity to the reunion, the pool or some other amenity & don't forget the luxury of not sharing a bathroom with a ton of people. 

[Els]

 Do you guys think it's a good idea to drag the almost-adult kids along to a reunion they don't actually want to go to? I mean, first meetings with estranged relatives are such an awkward thing, no point dragging more people into it. I feel your husband should go alone the first time and only bring the kids later.