Author Beca L Posted February 22, 2020 Author Share Posted February 22, 2020 1 hour ago, spiritedaway2003 said: Contrary to what some people think, the reason that most affair relationships failed isn't that there isn't love in that relationship. It's not that it can't survive in the light of day because they are living in some fantasy. In your case, you guys even lived together for a year and it's a happy relationship by your own account. As you know, there is a huge amount of internal pressures (don't underestimate guilt and shame) and external pressures (family and societal) that spills over...the kind of trauma that doesn't come in a fresh, new relationship. What made it all worse in that it appears that your MM hadn't done any 'work', in the sense that he simply jumped from one relationship to the next. Just a piece of advice: I don't think it's necessary to vilify your xMM to get over him. I find that learning to accept things as they are, which takes time, will also help you to move forward. Best of luck. Everything you said is how I interpret what happened. He did just literally walk out of the family home in to my house. Yes he had a rented house but he was at my house most of the time. Then when he left me he literally walked back in to her rented house (the family house was sold that same week, it was too late to stop the sale). You are correct, he never did any work to deal with the end of his marriage when he left or deal with leaving me. He is very immature and inexperienced in love and relationships. His wife was his only relationship before me. Thanks for the advice. I am trying to accept things as they are even though it does break my heart. I appreciate your understanding. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beca L Posted February 22, 2020 Author Share Posted February 22, 2020 1 hour ago, spiritedaway2003 said: much in the same way that they may feel like the strayed parents have abandoned them. His sons have said this to him since his return that they felt he had abandoned them and was happy with his NEW family with me and my kids. Link to post Share on other sites
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