Are you still in love, or just used to having them around?

[Miss Spider]

Not married, but my parents have been marrief 26+ years and still in that gross, saccharine type of love. Blech. Im obviously kidding. I’m very happy they are happy together and I got to grow up witnessing that. Sadly, I’m not sure it’s all that common. I sometimes wonder how they didn’t lose interest in one another  over the years but I’m not complainin

Edited May 18, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Lotsgoingon]

Cookies,

You got a potential trove of wisdom right next to you. Ask your parents how they sustained their affection. You might have to ask several times over multiple years to get some good answers. But ask! ... Parents don't live forever and I can tell you there are questions I wish I had asked of my parents when they were alive. 

[Clockwork]

I am used to her being around.......................but still madly in love! Still lust after that woman like no one I have ever lusted after before. 14 years married. Still have a vibrant sex life and the mere action of my wife being in our room on a day we haven't had sex and changing out of her top casually is pretty much all I need to make sure the kids are occupied for a few minutes. 

[contemplatincheatin]

We've been married almost six years.  I love him as a person, but i'm not in love with him anymore.  he's a great friend and that's the reason i stay.

[understand50]

In our long term relationship, we have fallen in and then out of love many times.   I think that is the nature of marriage, or any long term relationship.  Thinking you will stay madly in love as when you first met and made love is unreasonable.  Yes, some will say no, they still feel the same, but I would point out that the intensity is not as strong.  It can, and does,  ebb and flow.  

[Hopeful30]

On 2/24/2020 at 11:55 PM, gaius said:

I'm only 5 years in but every day with my wife still feels like a gift. We've had fights and disagreements like everyone else but every second we've been together I've had a fire burning inside me for her and she's the one and only for me.

I've been very lucky to find someone who can stir that kind of emotion. It doesn't always happen but it's possible.

🙏🙏🙏 this is what I'm looking for.

Tell me, did you feel this burn from the start? 

[SarahWins]

Totally in love still. It's 5 years since he came into my life and I love him more every year. The only difference is initially we had differences and they slowly disappeared. At this point I know what he thinks on any topic and vice versa, it's so liberating.

[Els]

On 5/18/2020 at 3:54 PM, Cookiesandough said:

Not married, but my parents have been marrief 26+ years and still in that gross, saccharine type of love. Blech.

This made me laugh... good on them! 😉

[OrbitalKat]

On 2/22/2020 at 1:58 PM, ElecLibre said:

A question for the married folks on here! I had a long discussion with my friends the other night about how some couples stay together out of convenience or just out of habit. I myself am not married and my longest relationship was for 4 years so I thought I'd ask on this forum what your opinions/experience is in this. Does "love" really last or at some point do you just get used to having that other person in your life? Are there couples out there who still wake up next to their partners with that feeling of being in love after many years of marriage?

I didn't read the answers, but the crazy butterflies stage cannot last forever. Long term couples who are happy enjoy a deeper type of love, which includes sexual attraction, and is based on caring about each other and building a life and sometimes a family together, as well as friendship and deeply enjoying each other's company. That's plenty love for me. The butterflies thing is just the nature's way to call us to procreate. It cannot be sustainable. It doesn't mean that the long term type of love is out of conveneince or whatever else demeaning people may want to call it.

[IndigoNight]

Yes, I love my husband. I am also in love with him. He is the person who knows me best, and even on my worst days he can convince me that everything will be okay with a warm hug. I cannot imagine being with anyone else, nor do I want to. Our sex life is as good, if not better now, than it was when we first got together. The emotional bond is spiritual for us. So, not only do we love one another, we are deeply, and passionately in love with each other. We prove it daily with a simple touch or kiss, that sends warm shivers throughout our bodies. It is worth the mundane day to day things, just to feel that warmth from a kiss or hug.