thefooloftheyear Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 (edited) The other kids could have teased the guy and told him she wanted his d or some other crap....Truth is you don't know... Newsflash...The world has letdowns and some in life will be way harder than this and have a thousand times the negative impact of this...Rather than calling out some kid that just may not be schooled in proper etiquette on these things, take it as a life lesson and move on....The bigger of a deal you make it the worse it will be for her...Tell her to forget it and move on... TFY Edited February 23, 2020 by thefooloftheyear 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 Rejection can be painful. I sypathize 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 Welcome to adults life. She has experienced her first rejection, there will be many more to come. Life isn't fair and people can be mean. Your niece will toughen up with time. When it happens to our love ones it always seems outrageous, it's normal, we love them and don't want anything negative to happen to them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 He sounds more socially awkward than an "a**h***" in this regard - he really didn't do it the right way, but it's possible it came from a good place, in that he didn't want to lead her on. I'd just support her in moving on. First heartbreaks suck but everyone has to go through them. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 15 hours ago, princessaurora said: She said when she was standing by herself for a second in the hallway he walked over and told her, so it wasn't in front of everyone. Still, I think unless her interest was highly exaggerated to him by someone it was unnecessary. Ok so that sounds like he was no a***hole but just a guy telling a woman he is not interested in her, which happens all the time actually. He did her a favour in reality, though.I guess it doesn't feel like that right now... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author princessaurora Posted February 23, 2020 Author Share Posted February 23, 2020 Everyone keeps talking about rejection, but that should have never been an issue. He was a simple crush. She was well aware he was never going to go for her and never intended it to go anywhere, so what was there to reject? She never flirted with him or made an advance on him. She's very inexperienced and wouldn't even know how. I think most people have had crushes in their life they've kept to themselves other than maybe telling their besties because they were pretty certain it was never going to happen. Eventually the excitement wears off and you move on. You shouldn't have to worry about said person coming up to you and saying "i don't like you". To me, normal people don't do that. I'm in my 40's and I still deal with similar situations on a weekly basis at my job. Men often say to me "oh, if you werent married ", or "oh if would have met you when we were still single" . I just play giggle and shrug it off because I don't feel the need to hurt someone feelings. I could say "yeah right buddy, not in a million years!", but what would be the point of that ? They're complimenting me, so why would I want to crush their ego? Let them think they have a chance in their imagination, who am I to take that away? That's just my stance on it and always has been. But like some of you have said, someone probably ran their mouth and exxagerated the extent of it to the point where he felt the need to have a come to geesus with her. So, i'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I still think he could have handled it better by asking her if it was true before he expressed his feelings, and if she confirmed it, then he could have politely let her down. That would have been acceptable and expected. Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 As a young (though not super young) man I'd say we can be a-holes, but not always deliberately so. I know that in my early 20s I had terrible social skills, and I wouldn't have had a clue how to handle a friend who had a crush on me. One of my first uni friends did the same thing to me (told me she wasn't interested in me without me ever outwardly showing interest), and I probably only handled it fine because I wasn't interested in her. If I was, then I wouldn't have been happy about it. To me it was an attempt by him to clear the uncertainty, but it was executed poorly. I agree that it could have been handled by him explicitly asking about the crush first. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 23, 2020 Share Posted February 23, 2020 56 minutes ago, princessaurora said: I could say "yeah right buddy, not in a million years!", but what would be the point of that ? I suspect the boy in question didn't say anything like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MsJayne Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 Hmm, rejection's part of life, and so is learning to keep certain things to yourself because a lot of people can't be trusted. I'd guess she told someone she thought she could trust that she liked him, and they've told him and maybe exaggerated a little, hence his behaviour wasn't all that random. She should be looking at whomever she confided her crush to. Girls can be bitches. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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