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Why does he take so long to text back, he never texts after 7PM?

Hannahhawks87

By Hannahhawks87,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Hannahhawks87

Hannahhawks87

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I've know him for a couple of years really. But we recently exchanged numbers. We text but he takes between 5- 6 hours to reply. He does reply with long paragraphs. This week is his week off because he is doing some work on the house, so I knew he wouldn't be texting that much. But he's been online and ignored my texts and only messaged later on. But then it takes him another 3 hours to reply. He hardly ever texts after 7PM, but reply to me the next morning answering the question and ask him how I am. I'm honestly not too bothered about the not texting much. I get that people have lives. But I'm abit confused. When he texts, he texts me paragraphs but then takes a day to text back. Shall I presume he's not interested or has a girlfriend?

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FMW

FMW

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Although it's not the norm apparently, some people - men and women - aren't checking their phones all the time.  

Depending on what I'm doing, I sometimes don't look at my phone for hours.  And I rarely look at my phone after 7pm.  I get up a little after 5am to get ready for work, so I go to bed early.  The few hours before I go to bed I'm usually winding down and put my phone away in my purse and don't check it until I get to work the next morning.  My friends know that about me.  

The guy I'm seeing HATES technology in general and only texts to confirm plans or update me on something going on.  He doesn't look at his phone for hours at a time, I rarely ever see him look at his phone when we're together, no matter how many hours, including overnight stays.  If I text him something casual he does sometimes send long responses - when he gets around to looking at his phone again.  I know how he is and I don't take it personally.  Our mutual friends joke (occasionally complain) about his slow responses to them, but again, it's just who he is.  I actually really love that he's so focused on me when we're together, unlike guys in the past who had to be checking their phones.  He gave me the same compliment, that I don't have my phone out all the time.    

Does your guy have his phone on him all the time when you're around him?  Do you have mutual acquaintances who might have some insight?

Edited by FMW
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Hannahhawks87

Hannahhawks87

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No, he hardly ever looks at it phone when we're together. It just puzzles me because sometimes I can see hes been online but not replied to my message. I know he has one of those smart watches too. 

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preraph

preraph

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I think you just have to wait and see.  But obviously, if he's not much of a texter -- don't text him just for BS reasons or chitchat.  I guess he knows where to find you if he wants to ask you out.  

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kendahke

kendahke

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2 hours ago, Hannahhawks87 said:

I've know him for a couple of years really. But we recently exchanged numbers.

that sounds to me like he doesn't consider you his girlfriend and is acting that way.

Are you his girlfriend or a girl he knows from back in the day who recently began talking with him?

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Fletch Lives

Fletch Lives

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44 minutes ago, S2B said:

Does he live with a gal? It’s possible he won’t answer when he’s home because he’s with another gal.

 - or wife.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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If you are just a friend, his texting style & timing are just him.  You really can't tell much about a person based on the timing or # of their text messages.  If he's sending you paragraphs & he's friendly enough in person judge the quality of your interactions based on how he is in person.  

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ExpatInItaly

ExpatInItaly

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Where did you meet him, OP?

You said you've known him for a couple years, but you seem to know very little about him. You also mention you see him "in there" when you go shopping - does he work at the shop, or? Did he ask for your number, or the other way around? Have you been on a date with him?

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Ellener

Ellener

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The man I'm seeing gets up at 5 am to go for a run then he's at work for 7 am. So he told me right off he doesn't have too many late nights, and he's a teacher so weeknights he needs to be up next morning. He wrote yesterday 'I do have a routine but I'll set it aside for you!' which is cute! I do holistic self-care for myself and if we become an item it will be sharing those healthy things together.

Remember people sometimes look online ( websites like this for example ) when they just didn't log off. I don't really spend hours on Love Shack Forums...well not as many as it looks! :classic_laugh:

Edited by Ellener
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kendahke

kendahke

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9 hours ago, Hannahhawks87 said:

A girl he knows. I know he doesnt consider me as his girlfriend. 

Chances are, he treats all of his aquaintences this way.

You sound like you're expecting girlfriend perks without being his girlfriend.  Adjust your expectations---expectations are future resentments under construction.

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Does he live with a gal?

This is my conclusion, too--a girlfriend or a wife. Someone who'd have an issue with him texting you after 7pm.

Edited by kendahke
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Hannahhawks87

Hannahhawks87

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He works in the shop and I went in to get some bits and he took my number down when I was waiting on an item. He said he'd text me when the item arrived in and he did. That's how he got my number. I know him from the shop, and whenever I saw him before the number he would also say hi. 

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FMW

FMW

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Has he explicitly expressed interest in you other than as a casual acquaintance?  If not, then my guess would be that he's not interested in pursuing a deeper connection with you.  That could very well be because he's seeing someone else at the very least, or maybe even living with them.  That would explain the no texts after 7.  

Of course those are just guesses.  But unless and until he makes it clear he's pursuing something more than casual friendship with you, I wouldn't waste too much energy on wondering about his texting habits.     

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Hannahhawks87

Hannahhawks87

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No, he texts me saying morning, asking how my day is etc. Then that's it. When we first started texting he would text me after 7 and now he doesn't. I have him on Facebook and I cant see any posts regarding a woman etc. He has said he is a rubbish texter. When we were talking at first he did mention about going to the pub, but he hasn't said anything about that since. 

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ExpatInItaly

ExpatInItaly

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I think his interest is very lukewarm at this point, OP. 

It sounds like he's prioritizing other things and possibly other people. 

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basil67

basil67

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14 hours ago, Hannahhawks87 said:

 I know he doesnt consider me as his girlfriend. 

So why would you expect him, as a guy who doesn't see you as a girlfriend and is also a poor texter, to be frequently communicating with you by text?

 

Edited by basil67
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S2B

S2B

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4 hours ago, Hannahhawks87 said:

He works in the shop and I went in to get some bits and he took my number down when I was waiting on an item. He said he'd text me when the item arrived in and he did. That's how he got my number. I know him from the shop, and whenever I saw him before the number he would also say hi. 

Ya know, it’s just not enough effort from him.

he hasn’t taken you out.

stop waiting around for him to make the smallest move.

date someone who’s interested and making effort to take you out... on a date!

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basil67

basil67

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1 hour ago, Hannahhawks87 said:

I was just wondering if he was interested in me and would maybe see me as more one day 

No, he's not interested.  Perhaps as a casual friend who he speaks with on occasion, but nothing more.

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