Tracing a friend

[KirstyNicole]

1 minute ago, nospam99 said:

OP, you did not answer my question about public defenders. Regardless, do you remember who the 'solicitor' was (I'm sorry if UK jargon might confuse me)? Could you contact the solicitor and discuss what your ex told you AND the circumstance that your ex is NOW (if I understand the scenario) himself a convicted drug dealer? Other than the 'stuff' in your friends car, what was the other evidence?

Legal aid is the UK version. 

He has had an appeal, My friend would need to go to the court of appeal moving forward.

His parents have said the evidence is indisputable. They are not willing to listen.

[nospam99]

Never mind about public defenders. I've done a little 'homework' (LOL on wikipedia) and concluded that the UK's Legal Aid Agency is, at best, difficult to engage.

My concern here is that, with the way you describe the backstory, there has been a classic 'miscarriage of justice' brought about by the actions of your scrumbag (my judgement) ex.

Is your MP approachable AND the kind of person who would be willing to be of assistance?

[KirstyNicole]

3 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

Never mind about public defenders. I've done a little 'homework' (LOL on wikipedia) and concluded that the UK's Legal Aid Agency is, at best, difficult to engage.

My concern here is that, with the way you describe the backstory, there has been a classic 'miscarriage of justice' brought about by the actions of your scrumbag (my judgement) ex.

Is your MP approachable AND the kind of person who would be willing to be of assistance?

I could speak to my MP.. I want to just help him out in the immediate.

It is a clear miscarriage and yeah he is a scumbag!

[nospam99]

Unanswered questions:

Could you contact the solicitor and discuss what your ex told you AND the circumstance that your ex is NOW (if I understand the scenario) himself a convicted drug dealer?
Other than the 'stuff' in your friends car, what was the other evidence?

New question:

When you told the police that your ex told you that he planted the evidence, was that before or after your ex was convicted?

[nospam99]

In my state (New York) of the US, there are 'social services agencies', VERY generously funded by the taxpayers. The government employees working for those agencies are overcompensated for what they do, so there is no problem with a lack of funding and resources. Among the responsibilities of those agencies are to assist released felons with things like getting jobs. Are there similar government services in the UK?

[KirstyNicole]

10 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

Unanswered questions:

Could you contact the solicitor and discuss what your ex told you AND the circumstance that your ex is NOW (if I understand the scenario) himself a convicted drug dealer?
Other than the 'stuff' in your friends car, what was the other evidence?

New question:

When you told the police that your ex told you that he planted the evidence, was that before or after your ex was convicted?

I don't know who the solicitor is. 

I was told before he was convicted. I told the police and they said there was no proof he said this. As its my word against his.

[KirstyNicole]

7 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

In my state (New York) of the US, there are 'social services agencies', VERY generously funded by the taxpayers. The government employees working for those agencies are overcompensated for what they do, so there is no problem with a lack of funding and resources. Among the responsibilities of those agencies are to assist released felons with things like getting jobs. Are there similar government services in the UK?

They have charities yes, however they are underfunded. The companies that traditionally go after convicts are not the best jobs. His conviction excludes him from most of the better employers.

[nospam99]

In my experience, granted in a different country, a lawyer will be listened to by the police and prosecutors when a private citizen will be ignored. Example, I had a driving without a seatbelt ticket dismissed because my lawyer was a golf buddy of the town attorney. If the UK is anything like that (most likely and your situation is much more serious than a traffic ticket), you will have better success helping your friend if you can engage an 'insider' in the criminal justice system. Talk to your MP. Over here, the court could tell you who your friend's solicitor was.

In your situation, I would also go back to the police, remind them of your accusation against your ex, and point out that your ex is NOW a convicted drug dealer, EXACTLY the crime you are accusing him of framing your friend for. Your word against his? I doubt that any jury in the US would take the word of a drug dealer against that of his girlfriend in a love triangle.

Still unanswered (as I write this): Other than the 'stuff' in your friends car, what was the other evidence?

[KirstyNicole]

7 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

In my experience, granted in a different country, a lawyer will be listened to by the police and prosecutors when a private citizen will be ignored. Example, I had a driving without a seatbelt ticket dismissed because my lawyer was a golf buddy of the town attorney. If the UK is anything like that (most likely and your situation is much more serious than a traffic ticket), you will have better success helping your friend if you can engage an 'insider' in the criminal justice system. Talk to your MP. Over here, the court could tell you who your friend's solicitor was.

In your situation, I would also go back to the police, remind them of your accusation against your ex, and point out that your ex is NOW a convicted drug dealer, EXACTLY the crime you are accusing him of framing your friend for. Your word against his? I doubt that any jury in the US would take the word of a drug dealer against that of his girlfriend in a love triangle.

Still unanswered (as I write this): Other than the 'stuff' in your friends car, what was the other evidence?

Nothing else in the car, I answered this. 

[nospam99]

'Nothing else in the car' does not answer if there was OTHER evidence not in the car.

I'm done harping on that question. It's up to the as yet unengaged solicitor and the police to examine the question of whether the body of the evidence supports a conviction. All I can say is that, based on your story, I STRONGLY doubt a jury in the US would convict. But since the details of your story (the planted evidence) were NOT presented at the original trial, a second trial would be necessary. That's where a lawyer here or a solicitor (same thing, different name?) where you are must get involved.

[nospam99]

One other thought - since you are now in email communication with your friend, I suggest you make sure he has no objection to you interceding in his legal problem.

[KirstyNicole]

5 minutes ago, nospam99 said:

'Nothing else in the car' does not answer if there was OTHER evidence not in the car.

I'm done harping on that question. It's up to the as yet unengaged solicitor and the police to examine the question of whether the body of the evidence supports a conviction. All I can say is that, based on your story, I STRONGLY doubt a jury in the US would convict. But since the details of your story (the planted evidence) were NOT presented at the original trial, a second trial would be necessary. That's where a lawyer here or a solicitor (same thing, different name?) where you are must get involved.

You talk about the US, You do realise this is the UK? Drugs found in a car is enough to convict over here.

I've not replied to his messages above.

[nospam99]

I talk about the US as an example of what people in western civilization would call 'justice'. I understand that the situation you're involved in is in the UK. The specific actions I have suggested follow from the assumption that your friend was framed by your ex. Whether having been framed is an adequate defense against a charge of drug possession in the UK is something only a professional in the UK can say. That is why the spirit of my various suggestions is to try to engage such a professional.

[KirstyNicole]

Can anyone help on how I should respond to his e-mails?

[nospam99]

OP, from the various suggestions I posted yesterday, you can guess how I would handle the 'situation' if it was me. But it's not me, I'm not there, and it's your decision what you will do. If you are uncertain about what to do ... about 'everything' ... from replying to your friend's emails to, maybe, trying to get him exonerated, find a another friend or family member who can help you make decisions and take action. The situation you describe is best handled by a person who understands how to 'navigate' and 'game' 'the system' and who can stay stone-cold objective to take action. If that's you, fine. If not, try to get that type of person on 'your team'.

[KirstyNicole]

1 hour ago, nospam99 said:

OP, from the various suggestions I posted yesterday, you can guess how I would handle the 'situation' if it was me. But it's not me, I'm not there, and it's your decision what you will do. If you are uncertain about what to do ... about 'everything' ... from replying to your friend's emails to, maybe, trying to get him exonerated, find a another friend or family member who can help you make decisions and take action. The situation you describe is best handled by a person who understands how to 'navigate' and 'game' 'the system' and who can stay stone-cold objective to take action. If that's you, fine. If not, try to get that type of person on 'your team'.

Thats regarding the conviction, I have no authority to act, I'm trying to attempt to rebuild a relationship with my friend here.

[nospam99]

Your friend is having trouble 'making ends meet'. Would you be willing to go so far as to invite him into your home so he wouldn't have to worry about the cost of shelter?

[schlumpy]

Hello Kirsty,

I see you've accomplished the first step in restoring your integrity and honor. Thank you for writing updates.

The first thing that could help your friend is to get a decent job. You could work a job search for him. Help him with a resume. What about a testimonial letter to his character and detailing the information you have that indicates a false conviction. Other testimonial letters from other people that have credibility would certainly help. That may be enough to move a prospective employer to take a chance on him.

Can you research organizations, foundations and programs that can get him a grant for either vocational training or into school?

Contact him frequently through email and see him if you can so that he knows your interest is real. I can imagine how gun shy he must feel.

Don't bite off more then you can chew.

Edited March 8, 2020 by schlumpy

[KirstyNicole]

1 hour ago, nospam99 said:

Your friend is having trouble 'making ends meet'. Would you be willing to go so far as to invite him into your home so he wouldn't have to worry about the cost of shelter?

He can stay with me, I've bought a house, I have a spare room he can stay without an issue. He just needs to say and he can stay.

1 hour ago, schlumpy said:

Hello Kirsty,

I see you've accomplished the first step in restoring your integrity and honor. Thank you for writing updates.

The first thing that could help your friend is to get a decent job. You could work a job search for him. Help him with a resume. What about a testimonial letter to his character and detailing the information you have that indicates a false conviction. Other testimonial letters from other people that have credibility would certainly help. That may be enough to move a prospective employer to take a chance on him.

Can you research organizations, foundations and programs that can get him a grant for either vocational training or into school?

Contact him frequently through email and see him if you can so that he knows your interest is real. I can imagine how gun shy he must feel.

Don't bite off more then you can chew.

Helping him with a CV and a reference would be a great idea. He is a very qualified/skilled person but his conviction stops him from getting a job.

@schlumpy How would you respond to his e-mails above?

[KirstyNicole]

I replied with 

Quote

Hey
 

I'm good, I have to admit I am surprised you e-mailed me back. I wasn't expecting anything back. I know the last visit in the prison wasn't the best. A little bit of me died that day, knowing you were going through what you were alone. I was hoping you would write back. I was hoping you'd consider ringing me or sending me a visitors order. I understand why you didn't nor can I profess to be angry because I have no right to be.

Thank you again for the gifts, The coffee machine was totally something I'd expect from you, but I can't use it. Not knowing what I do and without you being here. Look <friend> I know the truth. <my ex> admitted everything to me. I've been to the police I've attached proof I have, as I made a statement. 

I'm sorry for ever doubting you. I know things are really bad for you. I know I destroyed everything you had, what we had. I remember we promising each other that we would go to New York together, I'll pay for you to do an appeal as I'd love us to do that trip and for us to clear your name, because hand on heart I know you are innocent. I know you'd never do anything like that, I wanted to stick by you. 

I see you are struggling, I'd like to give you the money for the gifts. I know they are gifts but how can I sleep knowing you struggled to buy them?  I don't want you going without. I don't want you struggling. Your place sounds horrible. If you want, I have a spare room you can have. I could help with your CV and give a reference too. I know a few people who are always after good people like you. Please let me help you.

If you don't want to accept straight away, we could start by meeting? I can come to you. I could buy us lunch and again if you want to stay where you are until I prove myself I could do a shop with you. I wouldn't expect anything back. We could do lunch and coffee? No strings or anything.

That picture, please keep it. I know you had it in prison, I was shocked you kept it. I remember that night. I remember how you took me home to my parents, made sure I got in ok. I remember how you missed the last train and you jumped in an uber and wouldn't let me pay you back.  I remember that was the first time I felt valued. 

I want to help straight away. If you are hungry, I can do an online shop and order you a take away. I'm not going to go anywhere. I want to help you, make things right and rebuild our relationship.

All my love
K

 

[preraph]

Now you can talk to him, ask him if he wants you to call his solicitor.  Now, appeals rarely go anywhere, though.  I think you saying your ex had it would still be hearsay, which is inadmissible.  But you could at least tell the solicitor, though he may be well past this case and on to the next.  Also, you being the gf of the accomplice, as it were, from a legal standpoint, they may wish he wasn't associated, even though your heart is in the right place.  Probation has conditions.  

 

Have you legally gotten your ex out of your life for good?  Are you still communicating with him?  I wouldn't drag this guy into your life if you have any connection with your ex anymore.  

Just let the guy know you believe him but also understand the law (he obviously knew who he was hanging out with and what they were about).  If you can do anything to help him, do it, but be careful you don't get him just taking advantage of you too.  Sounds like he got himself a place to live, and that's really good news!  Maybe you can bake him something or help with his resume, as has been suggested, or even give him a gift card if you can afford it so he can buy food and necessities.  If you ever get to see him where he's at, you can maybe take him to thrift shops and help him buy used pots and pans or sheets and towels or a mattress, whatever he is needing.  You can ask him, What are your biggest needs right now?  Do you have a bed?  Do you have cooking utensils and pans?  

 

[KirstyNicole]

36 minutes ago, preraph said:

Now you can talk to him, ask him if he wants you to call his solicitor.  Now, appeals rarely go anywhere, though.  I think you saying your ex had it would still be hearsay, which is inadmissible.  But you could at least tell the solicitor, though he may be well past this case and on to the next.  Also, you being the gf of the accomplice, as it were, from a legal standpoint, they may wish he wasn't associated, even though your heart is in the right place.  Probation has conditions.  

 

Have you legally gotten your ex out of your life for good?  Are you still communicating with him?  I wouldn't drag this guy into your life if you have any connection with your ex anymore.  

Just let the guy know you believe him but also understand the law (he obviously knew who he was hanging out with and what they were about).  If you can do anything to help him, do it, but be careful you don't get him just taking advantage of you too.  Sounds like he got himself a place to live, and that's really good news!  Maybe you can bake him something or help with his resume, as has been suggested, or even give him a gift card if you can afford it so he can buy food and necessities.  If you ever get to see him where he's at, you can maybe take him to thrift shops and help him buy used pots and pans or sheets and towels or a mattress, whatever he is needing.  You can ask him, What are your biggest needs right now?  Do you have a bed?  Do you have cooking utensils and pans?  

 

My ex is out of my life for good. My parents are glad. I'm glad too. 

My friend wouldn't take advantage. I know that. He refused money for "canteen" off me in prison.

I've offered to do him a shop tonight and order him some takeaway so he can eat.

[nospam99]

@kirsty. Nice message to your friend! In the US, we say 'attagirl'.

[schlumpy]

5 hours ago, KirstyNicole said:

 

@schlumpy How would you respond to his e-mails above?

I would allow him to lead the conversation and if he asked me about the past I would be honest about it. Otherwise, I would concentrate on helping him make up for lost time. For the moment you are not there to confess your sins, you are there to help your friend regain what he lost. He won't have to hear you say you are sorry for what happened. He will see and feel it.

[KirstyNicole]

He replied.

Quote

Hi Kirsty

Glad you are doing well. 

Thank you for letting me keep the picture. It reminds me of happier times. I found an old frame at work. I just need to find a piece of glass to put in the frame, I found some paint at work too and made the frame look nice. I know its a broken frame that I've painted using stuff I found, but sadly all I can afford at the minute. I promise it looks nice. 

Thank you for your offers, I can't accept as I have no reasonable prospect of being able to pay you back as I earn minimum wage and my hours a week vary and I'm saving up for a bed. The bed I have the mattress is collapsing in the middle and the bed is broken. I've seen a bed in a shop. I spoke with the man in the shop and he is letting me pay him in installments before I get the bed so I'm trying to get that sorted. I also have to pay for my fridge. I did find a microwave at work, Cleaned it up. Works alright.  Boss said I could have it.

Thank you for offering to do me a shop and a take away. Again I can't pay you back, They have breakfast at work on a Monday, So I'll grab food then.  I need to get a new duvet as my chest isn't getting better. If it doesn't get better in a few days I'll find a doctor to register at. I've not registered at a doctor. Last one didn't want to register me when they saw my previous GP was a prison. Heck who am I kidding even if I did get in to a doctor. I couldn't afford the medication anyway. yes Kirsty. I can't afford £9 for a prescription. Thats how ****** my life is. TBH, I can't even afford to top up my electricity card to turn the lights on. Now you ask how I afforded your gifts. I sold my watch

I'm not trying to make you feel anything, You asked to know how things are for me. Your offers are very generous I can't accept as I can never pay back.

As for lunch/coffee it would be nice to meet up and chat. Depends when though. I have to see my probation officer and get the hours in at work. But if we are both free. I can sit with you whilst you have lunch/coffee and we can chat.

My solicitor did ring me and tell me what had happened with <my ex> sadly I can't afford the appeal. I can't get legal aid. I know you tried Kirsty, its ok. The damage has been done. 

If you do wish to help me. If I send you some £ (Will be a few pounds tops) could you please buy a mothers day card and a bar of chocolate or something and send it on to my mum? I know she hates my guts because of all this and will probably bin it, but I know I will have tried. Please don't put any return addresses on  it. I just want to do something. No worries if you can't/don't want to.

I'm going to go get warm, Sorry I've not talked much I've got a lot to process.