Silvio28 Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 Ciao all. Well, this is gonna be a long one... So brace yourselves I have a sort of a situation where I am very kindly asking you for your input on a simple matter (not so simple for me I guess?): Do you think that there is more than a normal affection towards me from my MIL? I would also like to ask for serious replies as I am not asking here on how to get my MIL laid!It is a serious situation and not some porn-hub fiction. Also don't lecture me on the morale or the "this is wrong" or some similar BS. Short intro&history: So I've been together with my GF [f/28] for good 10 years (with short brakes in between). My MIL and her husband (he's younger than her some 10 years and had his own problems in the past also - he is kind of a submissive type and extremely introverted) moved to Germany in 2016. For the last 5 years we have lived in our own apartment in Italy because of our studies. Even before we went to study we were together a lot (with her family), since my MIL is really the type of a person that's quite approachable, talkative, communicative, very attractive and kind. She isn't showing her real age I can assure you that :) She had kids at an early age and high number of partners (before this husband that she has now). I don't know the details but her life wasn't always as good as it is now. I would guess that she has been the type of a woman that fell for the "bastards" or the "bad-boys"? Fast forward to this day, me and my GF decided to move to Germany as she also got a job there and so we moved into her mothers apartment... My MIL and I both have a part time jobs which means that we are home alone for majority of the day. She's an early bird and I like to sleep in. Situations and events in history (between me and my MIL): Before they moved to Germany I had situations with her where I would help her with something. Clearing a basement for instance. It would be a tight space and we would brush against each other and she would sometimes briefly touch me with her hand across my back when going for something on a shelve. I would do the same. But there wasn't any comments on this... She wouldn't do this when we are not alone.Never. Event 1: When I came back from my business trip 1 month ago (part-time positions and I need to go on a business trip, it sucks I know) and came back late at night and slept till 10 AM she was up already. (I regularly walk just in my shorts in the morning when I go to the bathroom, and naturally - my MIL sees me a lot. It's not a big deal between us. She doesn't do that, but I do see her in her bathrobe for instance.) As on every morning she is walking across the hallway from kitchen to the bathroom frequently and when she saw that I opened my eyes she came in instantly and asked me how was my trip, how did I sleep and was very happy. We immediately started to talk and she leaned on a chair and as she was talking went through her hair with hand frequently (I was in the bed still in the half-seated position). Then we kinda finished and she went to the kitchen and I've put on my boxers (I sleep naked) and went to the bathroom. But then I came across her in the hallway and told her "Hey MIL, I realised that I didn't even hug you yet!" and then I hug her and gave her a big kiss on her cheek. She was excited and told me "OP I'm glad you're home." Event 2: We were sitting in the kitchen and having breakfast and she somehow came across the topic of relationships. And asked me "Hey OP how are you and my daughter doing now?", and we talked a little bit about that and then she started to explain me about the troubles with her husband. And we talked. That was a deep conversation. Not the first on this topic nor the last. Event 3: A month ago I stormed into bathroom. I thought it was empty. Well it wasn't. And guess who was in there just finishing her shower - my MIL. She wasn't even surprised. I opened the door, saw her as she grabbed her towel (not in a panic) and looked at me. I said "Oh MIL, you're in here. Sorry!" and she didn't replied. Nothing. Event 4: As I already mentioned I sleep naked. 3 weeks ago I woke up in the morning and realised my bedsheet had slipped away. Morning wood (not so small) + no bedsheet. Ooops. I realised that she saw me as she was already awake and dressed and everything. I put my boxers on and went to the bathroom. Wasn't awkward or anything. She was even happier than most of the days if anything. On evening the same day me and my GF needed to run some errands around the town and when we came home to the apartment (I stepped in first and my girlfriend was behind me) and I went into the living room (where our bed is) I saw - get this - my MIL getting doggy-styled (they rarely have sex) by her husband in our bed! I walked onto them and he was shocked profoundly. Her? Not even remotely. As nothing happened. She was enjoying. I quickly turned around and went to the bathroom...This event was not spoken about then. Not even a word. Nothing. Event 5: In addition. That "bedsheet" slip has happened to me then a few times and she saw my boner 3 times. I decided few days ago that I will go and do a little experiment. I decided to place my Android phone and record "the morning". So that I will see if she is checking out my junk. In the course of 2 days I recorded everything from the little drawer by the bed. Why would she even go to the living room? The dog has some stuff there (chihuahua). And why would the doors be open?The dog opens them, so they can't be permanently closed. On the first day she went by and just quickly gazed into the room. No reaction. When she walked out of the bathroom she didn't even look the second time. The second morning the doors were wide open and when she went to the bathroom did a quick gaze. When she went back from the bathroom another gaze. Then when she went to the kitchen she walked into the room and quietly shut down the door but her look was fixated down on the bed - onto my junk. She shut the door without the knob. 10 minutes after that, the dog opened the door wide - but then she didn't close them again. She walked by 3 times with a quick gaze and that was it :) Throughout the days she was very happy and we talked a lot. She wasn't embarrassed or something. True story. Coincidences?Something more?Give me your feedback. Any questions for clarification purposes, I will answer them. Thanks for reading. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 Do you want to have sex with your MIL? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 She has poor boundaries & you watch too much incest porn. Just steer clear of her & all should be fine. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 I think you're reading a lot into it because you obviously want her, and she knows it. For all you know, she could be gauging/monitoring your behaviour so she can go to her daughter and tell her what you're doing. Knock it off unless you want to be single and homeless. And it is wrong, regardless of whether you think it's BS and it ruins your little fantasy. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silvio28 Posted February 24, 2020 Author Share Posted February 24, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Do you want to have sex with your MIL? Did I said that?Does it matter? It isn't everything just about sex. The question here is if you guys think that she is kinda really playing into it? I have my opinion (obviously) I need some "external perspective". 1 hour ago, d0nnivain said: She has poor boundaries & you watch too much incest porn. Just steer clear of her & all should be fine. I wouldn't say I watch so much porn, especially not some weird porn. Sorry. Do you think that that's all?Just poor boundaries? 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: I think you're reading a lot into it because you obviously want her, and she knows it. For all you know, she could be gauging/monitoring your behaviour so she can go to her daughter and tell her what you're doing. Knock it off unless you want to be single and homeless. And it is wrong, regardless of whether you think it's BS and it ruins your little fantasy. Do you think is so obvious that she knows that? Why doesn't she talk about it then? Or comment when we're alone? Just to add this. We have this special relationship, I would say a very good one. She isn't snitchin on me and I'm not snitchin on here. We share secrets and have deep life/love conversations. When the others are around she is kinda different. Edited February 24, 2020 by Silvio28 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 24, 2020 Share Posted February 24, 2020 15 minutes ago, Silvio28 said: Do you think is so obvious that she knows that? Why doesn't she talk about it then? Or comment when we're alone? Because she doesn't want you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silvio28 Posted February 24, 2020 Author Share Posted February 24, 2020 4 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: Because she doesn't want you. Fair enough :) Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) Move out of her house. Period. Look up some roommates to move in with. Tell your girlfriend that you're no longer comfortable living with her mother and why--you're grown and should be living in your own place.Get a second part time job to afford it. It's a matter of time before her mother destroys your relationship by you not taking yourself out of proximity to her. The fact that nowhere in that post have you told her to stop is telling. It is highly inappropriate for her to be having conversations with any man other than her husband sitting naked under covers in his bed. Edited February 27, 2020 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) On 2/24/2020 at 9:53 AM, Silvio28 said: Quote me and my GF decided to move to Germany as she also got a job there we moved into her mothers apartment... we would brush against each other she would sometimes briefly touch me with her hand across my back when going for something on a shelve. I would do the same. She wouldn't do this when we are not alone. I regularly walk just in my shorts in the morning when I go to the bathroom, and naturally - my MIL sees me a lot. It's not a big deal between us. S I do see her in her bathrobe for instance. when she saw that I opened my eyes she came in instantly I was in the bed still in the half-seated position she went to the kitchen and I've put on my boxers (I sleep naked) and went to the bathroom. But then I came across her in the hallway and told her "Hey MIL, I realised that I didn't even hug you yet!" and then I hug her and gave her a big kiss on her cheek. She was excited and told me "OP I'm glad you're home." She asked me "Hey OP how are you and my daughter doing now?", she started to explain me about the troubles with her husband. finishing her shower - my MIL. She wasn't even surprised. I opened the door, saw her as she grabbed her towel (not in a panic) and looked at me. I sleep naked. I realised that she saw me Wasn't awkward or anything. went into the living room (where our bed is) I saw - get this - my MIL getting doggy-styled (they rarely have sex) by her husband in our bed! she saw my boner 3 times. her look was fixated down on the bed - onto my junk. Now that you are acutely aware of your girlfriend's mother (not your MIL-you're not married) nefarious intentions towards you and her and your colossal disrespect towards her own child, if you have any integrity, you'll move out by this weekend. Not doing so means you're inviting this woman to enter into a sexual relationship behind her daughter's back and you're no better than she is. Edited February 27, 2020 by kendahke 1 Link to post Share on other sites
vla1120 Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) While you did not state evidence that would indicate your MIL wants you, clearly you are having those thoughts to some degree (by that, I mean she's not here to defend herself and you did not mention any specific thing where she made a move on you.) You and your wife need to move out on your own as soon as possible so that the situation does not escalate. Also, I'm not sure what you told your MIL when she asked you how your relationship is with her daughter, but I would recommend you make sure your MIL understands that you are endlessly devoted to her daughter, and ONLY her daughter, for all of time. Edited February 27, 2020 by vla1120 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 The MIL's actions are not appropriate and I wouldn't be surprised that she is trying to get him riled up. You definitely should move out because you sound like you like what is happening between the two of you and it's only a matter of time before the unthinkable happens. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silvio28 Posted February 27, 2020 Author Share Posted February 27, 2020 2 hours ago, stillafool said: The MIL's actions are not appropriate and I wouldn't be surprised that she is trying to get him riled up. You definitely should move out because you sound like you like what is happening between the two of you and it's only a matter of time before the unthinkable happens. Can't move out for at least 6 months. Nothing unthinkable will happen. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) It's poor boundaries all around. She shouldn't have been doing it on your bed, for one thing, where anyone could walk right in. If she has to walk past your room to the bathroom, then how about a curtain hung so you can't see in, like maybe hang a curtain from the ceiling about a foot inside the door as a shield. Stop walking around in only shorts. I know that sucks, so yes, move out eventually so your house is your home. Meanwhile, through on a t-shirt and some comfy pants. Knock before going into the bathroom. Stop kissing her. Boundaries! Edited February 27, 2020 by preraph 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 22 minutes ago, Silvio28 said: Can't move out for at least 6 months. Nothing unthinkable will happen. Honestly, though? It is pretty obvious that you want her. Bad. Are you really that lacking in boundaries that you would try to seduce her own mother? 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) On 2/24/2020 at 12:59 PM, Silvio28 said: We have this special relationship, I would say a very good one. She isn't snitchin on me and I'm not snitchin on here. We share secrets and have deep life/love conversations. When the others are around she is kinda different. You should stop these intimate conversations that contain secrets between you. She damn well knows this is inappropriate and that these conversations should only be had between you and your girl. No snitchin and secrets can lead to bad things. Edited February 27, 2020 by stillafool Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 3 hours ago, Silvio28 said: Nothing unthinkable will happen. You laid out a laundry list of unthinkable things that have already happened. Show your girlfriend this thread, then. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 For heaven sake get your own place. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 She is being judged on American standards, not the European ones which she should be. While Americans may be wigged out by nudity, it's different in Europe. So I see nothing weird about her not being upset about being seen naked. I can't see that she has a thing for you. She probably just thinks that you have poor boundaries. That said, you obviously view nakedness like an American, so if you're sleeping in the living room, put some damn pants on. Knock before you enter a bathroom (and listen to hear if the shower is running) 3 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) Silvio, STOP! You're behavior is highly inappropriate and absolutely disgusting. You clearly have a huge crush on your MIL and you need to stop those thoughts. You are showing such disrespect for your GF. Stop walking around in just your underwear in front of your MIL, that's so wrong. Close the door when you're sleeping (it's obvious though that you leave it open deliberately because you love her to see you aroused). That's so wrong. Just as her and her husband having sex in your bed (that wasn't for your benefit either. It wasn't about you in the slightest). You are also reading everything completely wrong btw. She is a confident woman but she is definitely not attracted to you. Get a grip and get out. Edited March 2, 2020 by JTSW 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) On 2/24/2020 at 5:59 PM, Silvio28 said: The question here is if you guys think that she is kinda really playing into it? I have my opinion (obviously) I need some "external perspective". No, it's all in your head. There is no evidence to suggest that she attracted to you. You see what you want to see because you are highly sexually attracted to her. You shouldn't be here asking opinions about her interest. You should be keeping a distance and stop acting like a horny teenager. You should be respecting your GF not lusting after her mother. Edited March 2, 2020 by JTSW Link to post Share on other sites
contel3 Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) On 2/29/2020 at 10:10 PM, basil67 said: She is being judged on American standards, not the European ones which she should be. While Americans may be wigged out by nudity, it's different in Europe. So I see nothing weird about her not being upset about being seen naked. I'm not sure if this is a joke? 😂 just cause you're not wigged out by nudity doesn't mean you have to show your mother in law your privates lol I don't think OP leads a nudist lifestyle (he wouldn't be creeped out if he were), but even if it was a nudist household it's a whole other level to have sex in your daughters bed and show absolutely no reaction when her boyfriend walks in. Edited March 2, 2020 by contel3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 Maybe you should get a full time job so you don't have all this time to lay around in the morning in the living room with your junk hanging out? Or hey -- here's a thought -- wear underwear to bed, since you sleep in a public space in the house. I feel really bad for your girlfriend, who is out working full time while you are at home fantasizing about her mother. I'm not convinced by what you wrote that she is interested in you, but you are clearly interested in her. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silvio28 Posted March 3, 2020 Author Share Posted March 3, 2020 22 hours ago, contel3 said: but even if it was a nudist household it's a whole other level to have sex in your daughters bed and show absolutely no reaction when her boyfriend walks in. This right here. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 12 hours ago, Silvio28 said: This right here. It wasn't for your benefit though. She and her husband sound like a very sexually confident couple. It has nothing to do with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Silvio28 Posted March 4, 2020 Author Share Posted March 4, 2020 11 hours ago, JTSW said: It wasn't for your benefit though. She and her husband sound like a very sexually confident couple. It has nothing to do with you. Yes it did. She admitted today to me when we were talking. Had a good long talk. Link to post Share on other sites
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