Help pls anyone:)

[Omle]

I Think i got a problem. im 20 years old honestly only ever had 1 girlfriend was in 9th grade it was horrible cant even call it a girlfriend i guess lasted 2 weeks... but other than that ive never had a girl friend. i try to be nice to everyone it just doesnt work.

 

Heres a brief history of me:) :

 

was born in new zealand moved to australia did most of my schooling in australia till End of grade 9.. M<oved to Maryland USA in 1999 with family finished highschool, no relationships in highschool at all, quite suprising to cause most girls loved the accent.. i got quite depressed bout grade 11 noone even noticing. not many friends at all mabye 2 which i didnt talk to outside of school.

anyway i graduated 2002, stayed around in USA literetly no friends for like 2 years cause wasnt in school anymore i was never mean or impolite to anyone just never had any luck. anyway in 2004 i moved back to australia away from my family, getting sorted out for bout 4 months before i statred working for bout a year. still no luck. by this time i was SOO depresed it affected my work i got let go:(. few months down the track i gained a little confidence back not much applied to Tafe AKA college studying multimedia, dont have friends still outside of tafe i just dont understand what im doing wrong, i met 1 girl about 7 months ago talked for 4 months before i told her i wanted a little more than just friendship... she straight up refused... gave me the excuse shes not looking for it yet.. 2 weeks down the track she starts going out with someone and doesnt talk to me at all. as u can immagine i wouldnt be too happy.. anyway in the second semester tafe bout 5 months since i stopped talking to her i still had no luck, i reilized im not the greatest looking infact not really close but i would immagine im one of the nicest and outgoing, oviously not enough.

 

Any suggestions would be cool:) Thx in advance. im getting really stressed not despreted just stressed even closer friends would be nice every time i had gotten a friend i moved long distance and lost contact.

[Omle]

sorry bout typos:)

[littlekitty]

I feel for you. It can be hard to make friends sometimes. Could you try joining some local clubs? You could find some which hold interest for you, and it's a great way to meet new friends.

 

I guess one thing can be.... 'don't try too hard'...! Desperation can put people off. Of course, I can't say if you are or not, but I guess if you are lonely, you could be putting out that vibe.

 

[Omle]

thanks littlekitty:)

[littlekitty]

thanks littlekitty:)

 

My pleasure... a few other tips while I think about it.

 

People love confidence in other people. It's the most attractive quality you can have, it attracts people to you. But you sounds quite outgoing and confident, but maybe try to boost it a little...!

 

Also, I don't for a minute advocate lying to people, but making your life sound full already is another good tip. Don't particually point out that you need friends, or don't have much of a social life. Try to do things - even alone - and that will give you more to talk about, and you will become more interesting to others. It's not putting a false front out - because I don't agree with that - but rather, putting the best slant on your life, so that you appear happy. Again this makes you more attractive to both friends and potential lovers.

 

The gym also can be a great way to build a social life, mine is very social and holds regular activities. Also try inviting people out for drinks after work or something maybe?!

 

Anyway, good luck!! Try to keep smiling and remember that you are worthwhile and a good person, you'll soon make the friends that you deserve.

[Chimerical]

As far as getting a girl... you're going to have to put yourself up for a lot of potential rejection a lot more then you are. We are terrible and horrible in the fact that the majority want "you" to ask us out. You don't have to be good looking.. but you do have to have some mystery, confidence, and humor. I've been told I'm "hot" and I'll take a less then attractive man with a good sense of humor over Mr. GQ any day. So don't let your looks bother you.

 

My best advice, and I'm not sure how good it is.. Fake the confidence until you gain some. And act as though you couldn't care less if people were your friend or not. Be open and willing to talk, but make sure you keep that air of not caring if they are there or not. For some reason people can't stand that and MUST be your friend. All the people I really don't want to talk to love me. The ones I would kill to have as my friends, run.

 

Every boyfriend I've ever had I've acted that way toward. Like I didn't care.. Well, cause at the time I didn't. But they fell all over themselves to "get me". Honest. It was weird. Everytime I like a guy and go after him he runs. If I'm open with a guy, but a little stand-offish, then they're more interested.

 

Sorry... not much help really. I feel for you though. I don't have many friends either and it's lonely, and hurts sometimes.

[BadBadGirl]

I don't have many friends either and it's lonely, and hurts sometimes.

 

 

well, if it's any consolation...you do have us.

[Neptune]

The best thing you can do is to just get out there. Stay active and around people. Try to make guy friends and do guy stuff too. To catch fish you must go where the fish are biting. You may have a lot of hard knocks with women but that is what it takes to make a start. Just tell yourself it is all practise for when the right gal comes along. pay close attention here on LS too. A guy can learn a lot if he pays attention.

[Omle]

thankyou for useful info all