Blondegirl89 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 I happened to bump into my ex recently. And although there was no emotional attraction I still do find him physically attractive. How do I stop this? I don’t want to get back together with him but I wouldn’t mind another night together. Obviously I wouldn’t do it, he's in a relationship now and seems happy and I would never interfere with someone’s relationship ex or not. are we always attracted to our Exes? Do men still find the women they used to date attractive? Is it normal that I still find him handsome? Pretty sure the feelings aren’t returned. I was always the skinny girl but I joined the gym and now I am toned and tight in all the right areas but I think he had a thing for the skinny girls so I imagine I wouldn’t be attractive to him anymore. what is it that makes an ex still attractive in your eyes? Link to post Share on other sites
Pleasant-Sage Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Yes and no. Not really physically or emotionally attracted to my ex wife after the hell she put me through and I know what kind of person she is. She is remarried now too. We still get along ok because we have kids together but she can still frustrate me with her way of thinking. We took our son to the doctor about a year ago and she blacked out at the sight of him getting blood drawn and I had to catch her before she hit the floor. I found myself overly concerned for her. The nurse helped me get her in a chair and she recovered. I was surprised by my own reaction and she was incredibly embarrassed. I don't ever want anything to do with her romantically ever again but I guess there's a subconscious connection that will always remain? I still think she's pretty and has a nice smile. That's about it. My soon to be ex wife has just put me through a whole lot of hell in a different way. Physically and emotionally still attracted to her since there's not been a lot of time between us. I'm trying to put an end to that because she said there's no hope for us. She is beautiful and we had a great emotional connection at one time. I believed we'd always be together. Once that dream dies for good, I think that will be different too. I still decent friends with my first real girl friend from high school and we both lost our virginity together. That was over 16 years ago. No attraction there either. It's possible your ex is just your physical preference in men. You're likely to always be attracted to him. Assuming sex was good so you could be drawn to that too. You know what they say about people who go back to their exes right? They deserve to park in handicapped parking spots 😅 Link to post Share on other sites
Pleasant-Sage Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Missed a question... Physical attraction is only 25% of what draws me to people. The rest is mannerism and how they treat me and make me feel. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 You have 2 different situations here. * Finding him attractive * Wanting them sexually All my exs are still super hot, I wouldn't go to bed with any of them though. It's one thing to recognize a man is attractive and a different thing to 'want him' Link to post Share on other sites
contel3 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 I agree with gaeta. I was drawn to some exes partly because of their looks, so I still think they look good. No big deal. Doesn't mean I want to get back together with any of them. I wouldnt get too upset over it, maybe use it as a fantasy next time you're alone and then move on with your life 😃 Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 2 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: How do I stop this? Try to distance yourself through critical thinking. Why did you break up? What were his flaws? Think of when he was turning you off. Quote are we always attracted to our Exes? No, not really. My ex dates back to 20+ years ago, and now when I see him online, he has no effect on me whatsoever. Quote what is it that makes an ex still attractive in your eyes? 1. The memory of him and 2. How cool he still is. Being cool is not necessarily linked to how good looking he still is. Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 I don't find any of my exes attractive. Since our emotional connection ended when the relationship did, there's nothing to attract me to them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 no.....I would think, what the hell did I see in that guy. Then again I'm the type that doesn't dwell for very long after a breakup. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
scooby-philly Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 From a guy's perspective - or maybe just mine - there's "physical attraction" and then there's "emotional attraction" If I think of my 3 ltr exes - the first one I would not find physically attractive because there's no emotional attraction. Second one - she's pretty hot and I would bang out - but I would not be emotionally attracted. With most recent ex - I think I would be still physically and emotionally attracted to her - but I know in the long run it wouldn't work out so I'd have to cut the cord. She will always be (short of a freak accident) physically attractive. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) My EXs are handsome, intelligent men with interesting personalities & good senses of humor. There is something about them that made us incompatible as a couple but that doesn't make them ugly or bad guys. Stop focusing only on the outside / looks & remember the traits that made you break up. that should curb any residual desire. Edited February 26, 2020 by d0nnivain Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 My exes are all cute and sexy and have many good qualities. But I've moved on and have no desire to be involved with any of them again. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 What she was when we first met was very attractive but what she eventually turned into is not and I am not talking about looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) Lol no. If I still found them attractive we wouldn’t have broke. I have always wondered ‘what was I thinking’ with each and every one Edited February 26, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Sure I have ex's I think are still very attractive and sexy. Doesn't mean I long to be with them, or regret breaking up. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 It's normal enough. I'm not still attracted to the looks of mine, but I will say it's because we're all quite old now! I remember praying they'd all go bald so I could at least lose that part of it when I was younger. They didn't. Apparently I do know how to choose good hair genes if nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 No. My mental "NOPE" block entirely supersedes that possibility. I mean, my ex-husband is straight-up icky anyway (let himself go quite a bit) so there's that - but my ex-boyfriend was the sort where I'd show his picture to my friends and they'd be like "OMGGGG I want a piece of THAT." But even though my eyes can still be like "yeah, he has great physical features" - the attraction is simply not there. Kind of like evaluating a well-figured statue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Absolutely. My most recent ex was damn cute! Do I wish to get back with her? Absolutely not. That ship has sailed and I've moved on. Someone can be physically attractive without you being attracted to them. That's where it stands with my ex. Link to post Share on other sites
HappySenior Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 8 hours ago, Blondegirl89 said: I happened to bump into my ex recently. And although there was no emotional attraction I still do find him physically attractive. How do I stop this? I don’t want to get back together with him but I wouldn’t mind another night together. Obviously I wouldn’t do it, he's in a relationship now and seems happy and I would never interfere with someone’s relationship ex or not. are we always attracted to our Exes? Do men still find the women they used to date attractive? Is it normal that I still find him handsome? Pretty sure the feelings aren’t returned. I was always the skinny girl but I joined the gym and now I am toned and tight in all the right areas but I think he had a thing for the skinny girls so I imagine I wouldn’t be attractive to him anymore. what is it that makes an ex still attractive in your eyes? Funny as I have been thinking about this recently... I find myself missing my recent ex's body - not for having sex with, but just miss the cuddling. I can remind myself that his personality wasn't cuddly at all. But just the heft of him (I'm losing weight and he was a pretty big guy) sitting next to me was comforting. I find I miss that. Which is why I stay as far away from him as I can. I think he just matches my preferred body type and since I'm alone, I miss him more. But I stay on the straight and narrow because I don't want to pay what it would cost me emotionally to be around him again. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 I can look at an ex and still appreciate value in them as a person. But as far as attraction goes, 🤮 is my instinctive reaction. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 Absolutely...…………..not. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowboy91 Posted February 26, 2020 Share Posted February 26, 2020 (edited) Yes I still find my exes physically attractive. Physical attraction is one reason I was in a relationship with them in the first place. That being said, I find a lot of people physically attractive, but it doesn't mean I'll go out of my way to try and bang them, and exes are similar. Are the emotions there? Barely. I get some glimpse of who they are as a person (social media, bumping into them) and I realise... nope. Not the right person for me. I can see the value in them, and I wish them all successes in life, but it doesn't make me want to be romantically involved with them again. Edited February 26, 2020 by snowboy91 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 luckily , for me anyway , my ex has taken quite a dive in her looks and last time l saw her l just thought how strange that she'd changed so much that what use to drive me wild is now actually a bit turn offish . Link to post Share on other sites
Prudence V Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 On 2/26/2020 at 1:09 PM, Blondegirl89 said: are we always attracted to our Exes? Nope. To me, once someone’s history, they cease to be attractive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 Plenty of exes I wouldn't mind some free sex with. But as for dating again? Nah. Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 (edited) On 2/26/2020 at 8:09 AM, Blondegirl89 said: I happened to bump into my ex recently. And although there was no emotional attraction I still do find him physically attractive. How do I stop this? I don’t want to get back together with him but I wouldn’t mind another night together. Obviously I wouldn’t do it, he's in a relationship now and seems happy and I would never interfere with someone’s relationship ex or not. are we always attracted to our Exes? Is it normal that I still find him handsome? Pretty sure the feelings aren’t returned. I was always the skinny girl but I joined the gym and now I am toned and tight in all the right areas but I think he had a thing for the skinny girls so I imagine I wouldn’t be attractive to him anymore. what is it that makes an ex still attractive in your eyes? Not even a little bit. I have seen him in random pics on facebook, as we have mutual friends but haven't run into him in years. He looks awful now by comparison and life has not treated him well since I left, but he also cheated on me, so its kind of a double whammy for me. I imagine if things were different, I may feel differently, but the reality is he was a Cheaty McCheaterson, and now he is fully grey, receding and needs glasses. He just doesn't look anything like what he used to, even if things didn't end on a bad note. They did though. He turned my life upside down, so no matter how sexy he was, he would be UGLY to me. I have one ex from before him I am friends with but it is purely platonic. I am getting married in June and he is having a baby in April. We are both thrilled for one another and attracted to our partners. haha So he is also a big no. How recently did he dump you? This too shall pass. LOL. Edited March 3, 2020 by Daisydooks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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