Question: When/How to Tell Dates I Will Never Kiss Them?

[thefooloftheyear]

Id go for it....

Invite her over and get a bunch of chores done around the house....High five at the end of the "date"....😂

TFY

[K.K.]

3 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

Id go for it....

Invite her over and get a bunch of chores done around the house....High five at the end of the "date"....😂

TFY

Is she gay? 😗 I missed that part! If so, after they high five, they could do the chest  bump thing ‘cept rub their boobies together a little. 

[Saba the Spotted One]

21 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

Someone asked you if you'd ever done it (kissed). But, you didn't answer. Did you just overlook it or you don't want to answer?

Lots of questions there have been. The answer to that one is no. Inevitably, the next thing people want to do is tell you "you'll like it" but as I said very plainly in the opening post, it is not about that at all. So the matter is irrelevant. 

20 hours ago, K.K. said:

I like your name, Saba the Spotted One.

Is that like a leopard or someone with Vitiligo? I’m curious. No offense. 

Thanks. The answer would be a leopard. 

Edited March 1, 2020 by Saba the Spotted One

[elaine567]

Its a bit like when a person doesn't drink or doesn't want a drink right then.
"Go on enjoy yourself, have fun,  have a drink..." 
They don't realise that drinking isn't fun, else they would be drinking...
Few really want to deny themselves pleasure...

[Shining One]

While I haven't really considered this before, I might be okay with no kissing. The no sex before marriage would likely be a deal-breaker though. I'd certainly want to know about both of these as early as possible.

Hypothetically speaking, if we were dating, how would our relationship differ from my friendships with women?

Edited March 1, 2020 by Shining One

[NuevoYorko]

You'll just need to find other people who will never kiss, as you already know.  No human on Earth who enjoys kissing is going to be interested in someone who won't.  It's pretty basic.    

[littleblackheart]

On 2/29/2020 at 3:19 AM, LivingWaterPlease said:

Someone asked you if you'd ever done it (kissed). But, you didn't answer. Did you just overlook it or you don't want to answer?

Thank you! 

4 hours ago, Saba the Spotted One said:

Lots of questions there have been. The answer to that one is no. Inevitably, the next thing people want to do is tell you "you'll like it" but as I said very plainly in the opening post, it is not about that at all. So the matter is irrelevant.

You didn't answer any of the questions I asked. I was just trying to sound out how flexible and open-minded you were.

 

You have made a wrong assumption - it was not about trying to convince you you'd enjoy it. I really just wanted to know whether you'd tried it (and possibly regretted it), or if you actually have any sexual experience at all with a partner. You also didn't give your age.

 

It'll be easier to attract open-minded partners if you show that you are an open-minded person yourself, and that you are willing to accept or compromise on something else in return (not sexually necessarily), or that you are an otherwise very loving, committed and supportive partner.

 

In other words, it'll work if you don't just make it about you and your beliefs.

 

That's the point I was trying to make. I can't see many people being ok with this without some sort of reassurance that you are open to accepting other people's beliefs too, truthfully.

 

Asking this type of hypothetical to strangers who know nothing about your culture is not a good representation of what real life experience will be on such a specific issue, imo.

 

Good luck either way.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 1, 2020 by littleblackheart

[Saba the Spotted One]

19 hours ago, Shining One said:

While I haven't really considered this before, I might be okay with no kissing. The no sex before marriage would likely be a deal-breaker though. I'd certainly want to know about both of these as early as possible.

Its interesting to me that my casual comment about waiting for commitment before sex seems to have been more important to some people than the no kissing. I'm not sure what the general lean of this forum is, but I do know that this issue is just one that is highly contentious: for some people it'll be a dealbreaker, for others attractive, and for others a non-issue. In any case, I seem to have accidentally derailed my own thread with this. 

19 hours ago, Shining One said:

Hypothetically speaking, if we were dating, how would our relationship differ from my friendships with women?

This is a very interesting question. I guess it would depend entirely on what your friendships with women are like. In my case (speaking of difference between my opposite sex friendships and a partner), it would be different (closeness, physical affection, etc.). Obviously, I guess everything here will depend on what a person wants out of both types of relationships.

18 hours ago, NuevoYorko said:

You'll just need to find other people who will never kiss, as you already know.  No human on Earth who enjoys kissing is going to be interested in someone who won't.  It's pretty basic.    

Lol, when you think of it like that, yep, its simple. Its the finding part, you know, that's not so simple. 

17 hours ago, littleblackheart said:

Thank you! 

You didn't answer any of the questions I asked. I was just trying to sound out how flexible and open-minded you were.

 

You have made a wrong assumption - it was not about trying to convince you you'd enjoy it. I really just wanted to know whether you'd tried it (and possibly regretted it), or if you actually have any sexual experience at all with a partner. You also didn't give your age.

 

It'll be easier to attract open-minded partners if you show that you are an open-minded person yourself, and that you are willing to accept or compromise on something else in return (not sexually necessarily), or that you are an otherwise very loving, committed and supportive partner.

 

In other words, it'll work if you don't just make it about you and your beliefs.

 

That's the point I was trying to make. I can't see many people being ok with this without some sort of reassurance that you are open to accepting other people's beliefs too, truthfully.

I don't think you were the only person who asked if I had done it before. In any case, I did misunderstand your post a bit, it seems. I'd be willing to do something I just don't like for a partner to make them happy. There is a difference between something I just don't like and something I don't believe in doing (Its a matter of principle, not preference). In a romantic relationship, I'm someone who is always trying to make the partner as happy as I can. I wouldn't be making a relationship about me, but I had a very specific intent when posting this thread. I'd rather not give my exact age out.

17 hours ago, littleblackheart said:

Asking this type of hypothetical to strangers who know nothing about your culture is not a good representation of what real life experience will be on such a specific issue, imo.

 

Good luck either way.

I know that without giving my personal background and situation out, there is a limited range of helpfulness I can get in responses. None the less, I was really wanting to get a rough gage on how people in the general dating pool likely would react to this limitation. In that, I think this thread has been very helpful and I am grateful for the responses. Thank you for yours, and for the good wishes. 

Edited March 1, 2020 by Saba the Spotted One

[NuevoYorko]

 Yes, tell them when you first have contact with them.  Before any dates.   No kissing, ever.  That way no one needs to waste their time.

I don't understand the big drama around it.  We all have dealbreakers.  Some are more exclusionary than others.   

You might try international dating sites; a quick search informed me that there is an absence of kissing in the equatorial and sub-Saharan hunter-gatherer societies such as the Hadza, the Turkana, the Maasai, and the Yanomamo,.  Evidently some European countries don't do kissing.  Indigenous Bolivians as well.   You'll probably have to scratch Italians, French and Greek people off your list of potential dates.   

Joking aside, if you're trying to date within geographical areas where people normally kiss, I think you're going to end up with asexual people, or folks with other issues (for example, they don't have a functioning mouth).  Those of us who are culturally accustomed to romantic kissing experience it as an important step on the path to further intimacy.

 Regardless, it's clear that you aren't willing to budge or discuss your position on this, aside from the fact that you won't participate in kissing - so there's not much to talk about.    

[littleblackheart]

21 minutes ago, Saba the Spotted One said:

I know that without giving my personal background and situation out, there is a limited range of helpfulness I can get in responses.

I feel like this is a huge understatement, tbh...

 

As far as the timing. Let's say you go on a first date, all goes well and your date goes for a kiss (fairly common scenario): would you not feel bad not having told them upfront so as to avoid the awkwardness? Would you not want to know as soon as possible, if the roles were reversed?