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My boyfriend tried to trap me into staying with him


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My boyfriend has a child on the way from his previous relationship l. His ex got pregnant before they broke up
 

He told me he didn’t wanna tell me because he knows i don’t date men with children and he didn’t wanna lose me

 

All he keeps saying is “i lied because i thought you would want me anymore. I don’t wanna push you away, i just didn’t want you to leave me alone behind something i couldn’t stop” 

I’m so hurt her lie about something this big

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Well now you know you can't trust him to be truthful where to put your feelings and your welfare ahead of his own at all. It's all about him. 

 

Seems like a great time to let him go. Sorry that happened to you. You are entitled to have standards and requirements. 

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Cookiesandough

That’s so messed up. My first ex did similar to me; Lied about so much and huge things, like mental disorders he had. It does make you feel super hurt. It gave me major trust issues for awhile. If they lie about this, they’ll probably lie about more stuff 

Edited by Cookiesandough
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It's understandable.  People lie all the time when they know the truth will bring unwanted consequences.  People are pain avoidant.  

That said you now know two things about this guy that you know you don't want to deal with:  1).  he's a liar and 2).  he has a baby. 

Just dump him & move on.  What's the problem?  

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He's disgusting. He knew his GF was pregnant, but all he was concerned about was jumping into bed with someone else, and not tell them about it. So selfish. Kick this clown to the curb.

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It is appalling that he concealed the existence of his own child and pretended that he wasn't a father-to-be. 

Think about where this guy's values are at. His own fun and good times are more important than him taking the responsibility (and hopefully somewhere, the pride) of being a dad. He treated his baby like a shameful secret, an inconvenience. 

Is that what you want in a partner?

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SincereOnlineGuy
19 hours ago, KilaK said:

My boyfriend has a child on the way...i don’t date men with children...

 

Why is this so challenging?

 

Date him until the day before due date, and then DTMFA !!!

 

 

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2 hours ago, SincereOnlineGuy said:

Date him until the day before due date, and then DTMFA !!!

it doesn't work like that.

The child's mother is going to want him to go with her to prenatal classes, help in getting the baby's room together, help with various other things--he's going to be busy for the next 20 years.

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SincereOnlineGuy
3 hours ago, kendahke said:

it doesn't work like that.

The child's mother is going to want him to go with her to prenatal classes, help in getting the baby's room together, help with various other things--he's going to be busy for the next 20 years.

 

That would matter ONLY if the OP were the guy.  

 

This is the woman...  the   3rd party, in fact  (who, by her own admission,  "doesn't date men with children") 

 

When you are in a prenatal class, with your first child on the way...  you still do not have children.

 

Ergo, the point at which she must get out rather than go against her own standard, is the day before birth.

 

Who cares  what the child's mother wants ???

 

 

Edited by SincereOnlineGuy
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13 hours ago, SincereOnlineGuy said:

That would matter ONLY if the OP were the guy. 

you presume that his ex is a tramp who is sleeping with other men when nothing in OP's initial post said anything like that about her character.

Seems the one who is sleeping around is OP's sketchy boyfriend.

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Who cares  what the child's mother wants ???

Again, you're projecting here with no basis for the slur on the guy's ex.

OP's ex, clearly, since he's been afraid to even own up to what he's been up to with OP.

Edited by kendahke
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