Saidar Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Hi, I'm 17. A female friend of mine is starting to mess my life up SO bad! I'm deeply in love with her, but it doesn't seem asif she wants to go further than just being friends. Ok I can accept the fact that she don't want to go out with me, but the weird thing is this: I told her how I feel, she didn't really made any response about it. It seemed asif it didn't affect her at all!! She doesn't handle me different or nothing! So how am I supposed to know what's going on in her mind? Another thing: She told me I'm the only one she trusts... But only wants to be friends because it's going to be the best. But I came to the conclusion that she's testing me. Her previous boyfriend cheated on her and they broke up about 3 weeks ago. She told me she would never trust anyone again. Do you think she's testing me to see if I only want her body etc ?? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 So how am I supposed to know what's going on in her mind? I would have thought the deafening silence, followed by absolutely no change in her behavior in response to your outpouring of love would have told you what you needed to know in terms of 'what's going on in her mind'. She told me I'm the only one she trusts... But only wants to be friends because it's going to be the best. Nothing unambiguous about that. Here's what is going on: right now you are the friend guy, and she wants to keep you as the friend guy and part of doing that means that she isn't going to come right out and crush you under a ton of rejection bricks. After all - how could she keep her 'friend guy' around if she is mean to him or rejects him outright? 1. But I came to the conclusion that she's testing me. 2. Her previous boyfriend cheated on her and they broke up about 3 weeks ago. 3. She told me she would never trust anyone again. 4. Do you think she's testing me to see if I only want her body etc ?? 1. Wishful thinking will make you think some crazy things, eh? 2. She isn't over this breakup, and the last thing she wants or needs is her friend guy 'falling in love' with her when right now she has absolutely nothing to offer him. 3. You are her 'friend guy'. That means that she trusts you as a 'friend guy'. If she gets the idea that you have used this friendship to make the moves on her, she won't trust you either. Right now, she's hurting - she needs the comfort and security of her 'friend guy' - the male stand-in who is a placeholder for the guy she is going to really want to date one day. Will it be you? Maybe, maybe not - but certainly not right now. At best, you would only be a rebound guy. 4. Nope. I think she is just holding you at an emotional arm's distance because right now she can't return your feelings. Best to back off this 'I'm in love with you' stuff. The timing is bad, and its apparent that she has stonewalled you on it for now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saidar Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 Thanks for the advice, I needed that.... What do YOU think must I do?? Stay friends and let my hart be broken every day by her, or evade and ignore her?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Saidar Posted October 6, 2005 Author Share Posted October 6, 2005 Oh yes another thing... She got LOTS of guy friends. One of them even made a move on her, and she was heartbroken thinking she gave the signals that she likes him, 'cause that's what he said. So she doesn't really need me for a stand-in, 'cause there's many who can take my place Link to post Share on other sites
AZPAZP Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 Maybe she's acting that way because she was hurt. Maybe she is testing you. So i think you should continue to wait. Now, if you find that's she's just playing games leave her alone and if ya'll met to be friends let it be that way. Link to post Share on other sites
blue16 Posted October 6, 2005 Share Posted October 6, 2005 C'mon what's with all these delusional answers. She said told you right to your face, she wants to be friends. She hasn't shown you anything otherwise. "oh maybe she told you that because she is hurt." ya right...fact is although she is hurt right now, that doesn't mean if she says friends she actually means something else. And she keeps you around as a friend because you are her FRIEND, that's it. I bet she probably gets a nice ego boost knowing that a lot of her guy friends are falling for her. She was even giving signals to this other guy (apparently) I wonder if she enjoys stringing her male friends along in order to make herself feel better. Advice of the day: Never become friends with a girl you are interested in/attracted to. Link to post Share on other sites
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