escapedmelody Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I'm confused as to what's considered ghosting. I understand that it's when someone (Person A) stops all communication with another person (Person B) abruptly... Let's say Person A and Person B are in conversation: If Person A ignores Person B's texts/calls is that ghosting? How about if Person A doesn't initiate conversations, but responds when Person B gets in touch and the conversation lasts for more than five messages back and forth? What if the conversation ends and Person A doesn't respond? What if Person B sent a text that clearly didn't need a response so Person A lets it go? Also, if you are being ghosted, what length of time tells you that you are? Three days? A week? This is all very confusing or maybe I'm just confusing myself lol!! Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 It's confusing because you're trying to apply definite and absolute rules to something that is very relative to a person. Ghosting, most of all, at least for me, is if the communication stops and it's unusual for the two people involved. if you were texting before and happy with few texts during the day etc. then if suddenly you have to wait 24h for a response then it wouldn't be that odd. But if you're texting a little bit more often, you send few messages that do require a response, and response doesn't come in few days. You try again, still nothing, then it''s obvious. Don't try to put a definite guidelines on ghosting. If you feel like you are being ghosted then you send 1-2 contact messages to check. if they get no answer, it's pretty obvious... 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 I don’t know if it has an agreed upon definition. I guess when you feel ignored 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_K Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 So to try to give a slightly clearer definition to help with your cases, I'd describe ghosting as when person A makes zero effort to initiate any conversation with person B, and either gradually or abruptly decreases their responsiveness (in terms of replying to texts etc) until they're no longer responding at all. So it's all relative to how your communication level with that person started, or what is normal to them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted February 27, 2020 Share Posted February 27, 2020 (edited) Person A: I had a good time last night. Would be good to meet up again. Person B: Sure. Person A: next Friday ok? Person B (24 hours later): Sorry made other plans Person A: No worries. Let me know when suits. Person B (24 hours later): Will do [but never does] The end. Person B has just ghosted Person A. Edited February 27, 2020 by littleblackheart 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) I just figured it was when the communication ended without any explicit closure...maybe that is more of fading. I've rarely had someone I met in person just ignore a text etc. (and have never done the same). I have had OLD messages go unanswered after an exchange or two, no plans made or hinted at just simple questions/observations...I've been guilty of this myself. Don't think I've ever had the scenario above. Edited February 28, 2020 by SumGuy Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) "Ghosting" describes the fact that a person, normally someone who you are seeing as a potentially romantic partner, slowly disappears from your life without any closure or explanations whatsoever. (*) An example of a "ghosting" situation: You've been dating this girl and thought things are going well between the two of you. But you increasingly notice it takes longer for her to respond to your texts or calls, and even when she eventually responds to you, she does it without any kind of enthusiasm or excitements, which you instinctively notice - kind of guts feeling. And then one day she stops responding at all, no matter how hard you try to call, text or beg her. She's gone. Like she never existed in your life. That's classic "ghosting". (*) - That being said. Even though there is no proper closure, the ONLY reason that drives someone to ghost you is simply because they DO NOT LOVE YOU (and thus they don't want to have anything to do with you anymore). Period. Edited February 28, 2020 by thaygiaogiang 2 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) Ghosting is when someone suddenly disappears off the radar unexpectedly. A lot of the other answers. such as those who are sending lame and rare messages, I would describe as a fade. Or a slow fade. Edited February 28, 2020 by basil67 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Ghosting to me is when all is going along smoothly, and you wake up the next day and you're blocked everywhere and never hear from them again with zero explanation of why. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Legatus Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) @Daisydooks that sounds like something for which term ghosting would be a grand understatement, more like piece of kaka! I really hope you're not speaking from experience.. Edited February 28, 2020 by Legatus 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 52 minutes ago, Daisydooks said: when all is going along smoothly I agree that's the key. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Legatus said: @Daisydooks that sounds like something for which term ghosting would be a grand understatement, more like piece of kaka! I really hope you're not speaking from experience.. No one has ever ghosted me, and I have never done it to anyone who was undeserving. Even in that case, he had every bit of knowledge why. The only person I ever ghosted in any sort of light was my ex who cheated on me after 12 years together and had an OW for 2 months... Things were not going smoothly on dday or the days leading up to it, but had been before dday for many years. Once confronted, I disappeared off the face of the planet. I allowed lawyers to manage the rest of what I couldn't I feel a lot of what is described above is not all ghosting necessarily, but the fade, a fade or fading. Ghosting to me is an abrupt, unforeseen end by the person being ghosted, leaving them to feel confused as to what could have gone wrong. Edited February 28, 2020 by Daisydooks 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 @Daisydooks Interesting. Ty. I wonder though for how long this has to occur though for it to be defined as ghosting. For example, if the person blocks a person for a month, , but then unblocks and comes back to say hello, is it still ghosting? How about 24 hours ? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: @Daisydooks Interesting. Ty. I wonder though for how long this has to occur though for it to be defined as ghosting. For example, if the person blocks a person for a month, , but then unblocks and comes back to say hello, is it still ghosting? How about 24 hours ? I think in both cases it is ghosting. If someone ghosted me for a month, I would honest and ask, "what made you ghost me for an entire month? You just disappeared out of the blue with no rhyme or reason and now youre back to say hello?!?!" I would feel ghosted in both scenarios you mentioned if someone cut off contact with no communication with me before doing so. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Daisy what is “dday” that you referenced ? decision day??? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 (edited) 31 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: @Daisydooks Interesting. Ty. I wonder though for how long this has to occur though for it to be defined as ghosting. For example, if the person blocks a person for a month, , but then unblocks and comes back to say hello, is it still ghosting? How about 24 hours ? II dont know there is really a timeline on ghosting because in the moment, being ignored feels like you're being ghosted or about to be ghosted. Someone returning and pretending they didnt ignore you for 4 days or whatever doesn't lessen the ghosting experience felt by the other person. If they didnt message back in say 24 hours, I wouldnt call that ghosting. I'd call it ignoring you and not having respect more than anything. Edited February 28, 2020 by Daisydooks 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 @simpycurious Dday is "discovery day". It's the day you find out your spouse or partner is cheating on you. Generally speaking they are absolute nightmares. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 1 hour ago, simpycurious said: Daisy what is “dday” that you referenced ? decision day??? Discovery Day as Mark said. Discovery was on my part when OW contacted me. My decision to walk away was planned without his knowledge. 2 weeks later he was confronted and I never spoke to him after that/ghosted him. I met and chatted with OW first face to face. We spoke for a few hours very openly, honestly and both cried a lot that day. She was actually a really lovely girl. I felt bad for us both and felt immense hatred for him. I got my ducks in a row before confrontation. I took a bag of his things to her house, rang the bell, she answered, I walked in, and when he saw me, his jaw his the ground because he knew he had been outed and caught. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 16 minutes ago, Daisydooks said: Discovery Day as Mark said. Discovery was on my part when OW contacted me. My decision to walk away was planned without his knowledge. 2 weeks later he was confronted and I never spoke to him after that/ghosted him. I met and chatted with OW first face to face. We spoke for a few hours very openly, honestly and both cried a lot that day. She was actually a really lovely girl. I felt bad for us both and felt immense hatred for him. I got my ducks in a row before confrontation. I took a bag of his things to her house, rang the bell, she answered, I walked in, and when he saw me, his jaw his the ground because he knew he had been outed and caught. Not that it matters but was HE your boyfriend or husband? (if that is ok to ask) Is he still with HER? Link to post Share on other sites
Daisydooks Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, simpycurious said: Not that it matters but was HE your boyfriend or husband? (if that is ok to ask) Is he still with HER? Husband. Now ex-husband. If that wasnt blatantly obvious. 😂 We were together for 12 years when this happened. For the purpose of this post, I ghosted him after I confronted him at his OWs house. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 "ghosting" is when a husband wakes up one day and tells his wife and kids that he's going to 7-11 to get some milk and instead goes to the airport and gets on a plane headed for Helsinki, Finland 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 2 hours ago, alphamale said: "ghosting" is when a husband wakes up one day and tells his wife and kids that he's going to 7-11 to get some milk and instead goes to the airport and gets on a plane headed for Helsinki, Finland that sounds more like flying the coop Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Daisydooks said: Husband. Now ex-husband. If that wasnt blatantly obvious. 😂 We were together for 12 years when this happened. For the purpose of this post, I ghosted him after I confronted him at his OWs house. Sorry for asking Daisy. He sounds like a dirt bag. I am sorry he treated you like that and sorry for not reading enough to recognize that he was your husband. Insensitive of me and I am sorry Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 1 minute ago, simpycurious said: that sounds more like flying the coop indeed, it does but it is still ghosting but in the extreme 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 In short, it's simply disappearing when you're in a relationship without so much as a warning. And typically, it's for good. They're there one minute and then BAM! They're gone. Out the door. Link to post Share on other sites
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