Marry someone to get their money

[Caauug]

12 hours ago, Foxhall said:

Would you pursue a relationship with someone not because you were in love with them or attracted to their looks/personality,  but more interested in their wealth or potential wealth,

Yes there are "Gold Diggers".

If you take hypergamy into account that will apply to most girls when they are thinking about family. The attraction can be partly the mans money or potential to earn money.

13 hours ago, Foxhall said:

or perhaps they do like the guy to a degree but have in the back of their minds- well if this does not work out, this guy has a few assets to his name, I could always get a share of that if the relationship does not work

This has happened a lot in the past!!! Have 2 or 3 of his children, claim abuse and throw him to the street. Keep the house, stop any visitation and get max child/spouse support. She will want to keep him out of jail so he still earns money for her but away from the kids so she can poison them on what dad is really like. He starts out with life looking good and ends up with nothing, paying for years. Lots of stories like this on the MGTOW forums.

5 hours ago, Kitty Tantrum said:

Nah. I don't want a man's resources for myself - I want a man who will use his resources to take care of me and our family. My husband pays the bills, but he's poor.

Thank You. The first part of the quote is a good example of the broader meaning of hypergamy.

I disagree with your husband is poor, he may not be rich with money.....  But he pays the bills and has you and a family that he takes care of. If you and your family are healthy and relatively happy I would call him wealthy. Yes, you could take a lot of the wealth away from him if you left him....

5 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Many woman will not "marry for money" as such, but many women will filter out men without money or with no potential, right from the very start.

So true^^^^^ I would even go as far to say it is part of the attraction also. 

It appears the women may not filter as much once the family has flown the nest if they are single again. Other qualities pay a larger part in the attraction process. People's needs changing as they grow older, I am guessing.....

[thefooloftheyear]

3 hours ago, Ellener said:

 

Another friend was about to divorce her ( cheating ) husband when he developed a bad brain tumour, despite every available treatment he was dead within the year and she inherited his life insurance and fortune, but she totally deserved it- she nursed him through that final difficult year. His family tried to get some of the money but they had no legal ( or moral ) grounds.

 

Hilarious....thanks for the laughs....

Speaking of inheriting fortunes,...A guy I know recently met an untimely end in a horrible accident....His wife was a complete ass hat and treated the guy like garbage...Sure, he should have left her, but all he wanted was to be with his kids and knew once he was out she'd find a way to screw him over on that end as well..Anyway, this cold b!tch didn't even have the decency to give the guy a proper memorial/burial...Had all his accounts put in her name only after only a few days...Did not notify his family and had him cremated said there would be no services...They had to have their own service...Just a horrible scenario..

Another guy I know got swindled for millions by a lesbian that wanted kids and lifestyle.. Concealed her sexual preference, played the guy for an idiot, when all he wanted was a family.....

I'm glad that a lot of younger guys are now getting wise to this and not committing....Smart move....And a few other guys I know had their wives sign prenups....I cant blame these guys really....You hear some of these stories and its completely logical..

TFY

[MsJayne]

Absolutely some women will do this. I have a sibling who's a ruthless gold digger, (she's on her third husband - she went for a bigger fish each time and settled with this one because he's very well off despite resembling a tall version of Gollum). The only things I ever find surprising about the whole scenario is that so many men can't spot these women even though it's glaringly obvious they're there for the money, and also how many really smart guys fall for these women. The gold digger is the bottom of the barrel in my book, the absolute dregs in choice of partner. 

[Kitty Tantrum]

4 hours ago, Caauug said:

Thank You. The first part of the quote is a good example of the broader meaning of hypergamy.

I disagree with your husband is poor, he may not be rich with money.....  But he pays the bills and has you and a family that he takes care of. If you and your family are healthy and relatively happy I would call him wealthy. Yes, you could take a lot of the wealth away from him if you left him....

I mean, if you count ME (and the various non-monetary/abstract things I bring to the marriage) as part of his "wealth," then sure - I would be taking myself away if I left him.

But if it's my presence in his life (and all that entails) that makes him "wealthy" - then I didn't marry him for his wealth, now did I? That's value I brought to the table - not value I was seeking; he didn't have ME when we met (OR money). 😜

The OP asked about marrying for MONEY - and I would not carry any money, assets, property, or ongoing financial support of any kind out of the marriage if I left. As far as "lifestyles" go, we're pretty firmly in the "poverty" category.

I mean, if you want to tweak the definition of "hypergamy" so that it applies to every single woman no matter how humble and austere a life she's willing to settle for in order to have a husband and a family - have fun with that. 😬

[Ellener]

Everyone was critical when my husband and I divorced because we did it ourselves, no lawyers, just our own common sense and decency and concern for our son...it worked fine. He found a pension that my name wasn't on a couple of years after and wrote me a check for half of that too. Fast forward to his new wife coming into the equation and giving him 'advice' and everything changed, things quickly became horrible between he and our son and he and I could no longer communicate about it, we just argued! We had problems in our marriage which is why we divorced but never about money or parenting.

I felt sorry for him once I calmed down and I still let him know occasionally how our son is in case he is interested, but they haven't spoken in several years now. It's sad. And I think it all stemmed from the new wife being overly concerned with my ex and his money and worrying in case he was over-generous with his son and I! 

It cost me a lot financially of course to finish raising my son, who went 'off the rails teen' a bit in response, but it seemed obvious to me that I just needed to go the distance and be consistent as possible despite my own wobbling health by this point. I have a great relationship with my son now, and no amount of money could ever replace or compensate for that.

I'd never sign a 'prenup' though @thefooloftheyear, that would indicate to me there isn't enough trust for a marriage. 

.

[Shining One]

14 hours ago, RecentChange said:

And how many wealthy men seek young beautiful women to be their brides, only to trade them in 10-15 years later for the newest hottest model?

I'd expect the "smart" ones to trade in more frequently, specifically just before their location's minimum time frame for substantial alimony.

[lana-banana]

In the United States this is an increasingly unlikely phenomenon---very few people marry outside their social class anymore. (And if you don't think we have social classes in this country, you're kidding yourself.) If you have a PhD, you're probably not going to marry a high-school dropout. People are more and more often seeking out someone with similar educational and financial backgrounds. 

I think it's also harder than ever to marry someone for their money, just because any remotely decent lawyer could ensure that the less well-off spouse wasn't entitled to anything outside the scope of their marriage. My husband's childhood buddy married a modestly wealthy girl and her parents were abundantly clear that not only will he never be in the family will, but he wouldn't get a dime in the event of divorce. 

That being said, extreme poverty is a horrible thing and it can affect your outlook in a way that's impossible to understand unless you lived it. I knew someone who went on dates at least twice a week because she literally could not afford to eat otherwise. She lived in a rent-controlled apartment and worked three jobs, every penny of which went to bills and her mom's medical care. If that is your way of life I can understand wanting a partner who can provide even the barest amount of financial stability. But as we've established, it's harder than ever to marry someone who would do that.

[Springsummer]

6 minutes ago, lana-banana said:

That being said, extreme poverty is a horrible thing and it can affect your outlook in a way that's impossible to understand unless you lived it. I knew someone who went on dates at least twice a week because she literally could not afford to eat otherwise. She lived in a rent-controlled apartment and worked three jobs, every penny of which went to bills and her mom's medical care. If that is your way of life I can understand wanting a partner who can provide even the barest amount of financial stability. But as we've established, it's harder than ever to marry someone who would do that.

I guess USA is really big. Everywhere I went in the USA, people seems pretty well off. I went to Orlando last Dec. everywhere I went I see very nice houses. I went to Aspen early this month, it seems people are very affluent. 

Maybe a huge population is middle class, only a tiny population is living extreme poverty in the US? to put it in perspective. Glad in my country, at least there is universal health care, no matter how inadequate it is, at least you won't go broke because you can't afford it.

[Springsummer]

9 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Absolutely some women will do this. I have a sibling who's a ruthless gold digger, (she's on her third husband - she went for a bigger fish each time and settled with this one because he's very well off despite resembling a tall version of Gollum). The only things I ever find surprising about the whole scenario is that so many men can't spot these women even though it's glaringly obvious they're there for the money, and also how many really smart guys fall for these women. The gold digger is the bottom of the barrel in my book, the absolute dregs in choice of partner. 

maybe those guys look like Gollum? so they don't have much choice.

[lana-banana]

4 minutes ago, Springsummer said:

I guess USA is really big. Everywhere I went in the USA, people seems pretty well off. I went to Orlando last Dec. everywhere I went I see very nice houses. I went to Aspen early this month, it seems people are very affluent. 

Maybe a huge population is middle class, only a tiny population is living extreme poverty in the US? to put it in perspective. Glad in my country, at least there is universal health care, no matter how inadequate it is, at least you won't go broke because you can't afford it.

Only 12% of people are technically in poverty in the United States, but this is widely considered to be an inadequate metric, and the Congressional Research Service has suggested it should be nearly three times higher. By that standard, more than 40% of Americans are near poverty. While they aren't at the "extreme poverty" level you might be imagining, these people cannot even afford a $400 surprise expense or miss a single paycheck. There is no "huge middle class" in the United States, just people at the upper and lower ends of the income spectrum. The middle class we had in the 60s is rapidly disappearing.

Aspen and Orlando are extremely affluent areas. In the US, due to the way housing prices are managed (or not managed), wealth and poverty are concentrated. You can spend a lot of time in affluent suburbs without ever seeing someone who makes under 400k a year. However, it's not a reflection of the whole. If you are interested in learning more you can visit povertyusa.org. 

[littleblackheart]

On 2/27/2020 at 11:59 AM, Foxhall said:

so the question being- for a woman in terms of choosing a man/potential husband- how big of a factor is the wealth of the guy or possible wealth (such as he stood to inherit property/land etc)?

Maybe a more pertinent question for you, as the guy in this potential scenario would be 'am I willing to choose a woman in a different financial situation I am?'

The thing is, you never know what is round the corner. Choose a partner that you can see spending your life with based on a genuine connection , that you know will have your back regardless of your wealth (or hers), and you'll be golden. Besides, I have a feeling there is a trade-off of sorts even with 'gold-diggers', who give their best years (and beauty, I guess) in exchange for financial rewards.

[thefooloftheyear]

1 hour ago, Springsummer said:

I guess USA is really big. Everywhere I went in the USA, people seems pretty well off. I went to Orlando last Dec. everywhere I went I see very nice houses. I went to Aspen early this month, it seems people are very affluent. 

Maybe a huge population is middle class, only a tiny population is living extreme poverty in the US? to put it in perspective. Glad in my country, at least there is universal health care, no matter how inadequate it is, at least you won't go broke because you can't afford it.

Don't go by what you see.....Many of those people you are looking at are a few payments from the repo man, and have more debt than you could dream of....The stories my accountant relays to me about some of these people make you wonder how they ever sleep...

Add to that the recent collapse of the stock market and we'll see where these people wind up...

TFY

[RecentChange]

3 hours ago, Springsummer said:

I guess USA is really big. Everywhere I went in the USA, people seems pretty well off. I went to Orlando last Dec. everywhere I went I see very nice houses. I went to Aspen early this month, it seems people are very affluent. 

Maybe a huge population is middle class, only a tiny population is living extreme poverty in the US? to put it in perspective. Glad in my country, at least there is universal health care, no matter how inadequate it is, at least you won't go broke because you can't afford it.

As others have pointed out - Aspen is EXTREMELY affluent. Its the ski town for the very rich. It does not reflect the standard of living in the United States at all. I am having a hard time imaging a more affluent town in the US. Same for Orlando - it's a tourist mecca, desirable weather etc. It's an outlier, not the norm.

Wealth in this country is growing and growing in disparity. There are pockets of extreme wealth, and pockets of extreme poverty. The middle class is a dying breed with more and more people living paycheck to paycheck.

Come to San Francisco and you can see both within blocks or each other. Mansions with super cars, and a few blocks away giant homeless encampments filling the streets with squalor.

Then of course there are cities like Trent MI, many rust belt states have towns that are struggling. 

And back to the point of this thread. I agree with others, when I look around the VAST majority of people I know married within their class.  I know a good number of wealthy people because I grew up working and riding at a horse stable in silicon valley (lots of rich kids).

One rich girl married a guy from middle class - but he had "earning potential" and now clears over half a million a year working for a tech giant.

The rest of those wealthy girls I knew all went on to marry wealthy men. They earned degrees first etc, but are now stay at home moms. 

I know very few from that social circle who married someone from a lower economic class - actually I can't think of any (besides the example above). That goes for men as well - they married pretty women from successful families. 

[vla1120]

Of course there are (and always will be) women who marry men simply for their wealth and/or income potential and there are men who marry women for the same reason. (I would not have married my current husband if we'd had a "normal" amount of courtship time, but he had stage III cancer, I had excellent health benefits, so we married very early in our relationship so he would have health benefits and I could take care of him financially.)

Of course, in those situations (especially young women marrying older men), looks play a role. I don't think a poor 90-year-old man is going to capture the attention of the likes of Anna Nicole Smith. Likewise, a wealthy older woman can probably capture the attention of a handsome young man, more so than I could, certainly.

[Envy123]

Having money is a big bonus and definitely desirable for me.

But it's not because I want their money. It's because I want someone who is ambitious as me, so the money has to be earned through their efforts. If it's just a London Tipton who has "daddy's money", I'm not interested.

Also, the more money someone has, the less likely they are to take my hard-earned money and run.

[MsJayne]

7 hours ago, Springsummer said:

maybe those guys look like Gollum? so they don't have much choice.

Yes, I'm pretty sure a lot of rich but ugly guys just accept the trade-off.

[Foxhall]

Many thanks for all the responses, good points👍