Melfitz Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 My boyfriend (?) decided to go back with his ex-wife. She has cancer, and decided to do the end of life assisted suicide. In my heart of hearts, I see it as just another manipulation tactic, which she's famous for. I'm completely heartbroken, and I don't have any idea what to do. I'd love to wait for this all to pass, but maybe I'm just being stupid. Link to post Share on other sites
Piddy Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Well, with the limited information he seems to be doing a humane thing. Does the ex wife have any other family etc.? And when she does pass why wouldn't he come back? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Melfitz Posted February 28, 2020 Author Share Posted February 28, 2020 Well, she's treated him like unbelievable garbage for quite a long time, 20 emails a day, just tearing into him. He had always told me he'd never go back to her. All of that aside (including my own heartbeat), yes, he's being humane. I don't know if he'll come back to me, I hope he does, but should I sit and wait it out on the chance he does? I don't want to waste my time. I'm 44 years old, and I don't want to be alone forever. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 No, do not wait. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Another vote for don't wait 20 hate filled emails a day = love, believe it or not. Now he has returned to her in her hour of need. I am not sure how you see end of life assisted suicide as "manipulation" - that sounds incredibly harsh, but I get it he has let you down and you blame her. He is going to be very upset when she dies, I am not sure if you can provide that support or even if he would want you to Did he originally leave his wife for you? If so then he may suffer a lot of guilt over that. All in all, best not to wait for something that is not a done deal. She may make a great recovery... Some panic on diagnosis and seek out the assisted suicide route to find once they are calmer, they find things are not as terrible as they first imagined and they thus change their minds. It is now up to him and her how they manage their lives, so just get on with your own life is my advice. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 Nope. You can't wait. One of the reasons he left is that he believes you will be there when he decides to come back. He was faces with a choice and he chose her. That allows you to move on with a clear conscience to find your own happiness. I'm sorry but he still loves her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted February 28, 2020 Share Posted February 28, 2020 18 hours ago, Melfitz said: My boyfriend (?) decided to go back with his ex-wife. She has cancer, and decided to do the end of life assisted suicide. In my heart of hearts, I see it as just another manipulation tactic, which she's famous for. I'm completely heartbroken, and I don't have any idea what to do. I'd love to wait for this all to pass, but maybe I'm just being stupid. In sickness and in health--he did agree to that before God and man... Quote I don't want to waste my time. I'm 44 years old, Don't wait. Cry him out of your system and move forward. Stop taking his calls when he calls for you to hold his hand. No--he made a choice to return to his wife and he doesn't get to count on you for outside relief from the choice he made. He has to learn to live with what he can't rise above. And no, you're not wrong when you do move on with your life. Hate is angry love. The opposite of love is indifference, which your boyfriend isn't demonstrating about her. Link to post Share on other sites
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