Broke up with my Ex. There's another Girl. Not sure what I want. Miss my ex

[MrHello22]

I have dated my ex for two years 

 

A year and a half into the relationship I grew feelings for someone else and put myself in a pickle. A person who is more relatable to me. Someone who has a similar lifestyle to me. My girlfriend at the time has different religious and traditional differences than me.(no sex but other things are okay and cultural differences.) She also grew up in another country then me so communication on things we like are different and sometimes we don’t get what each other mean. 

 

As time went on though we grew as a couple we talked things out but when I met that girl who is more like me and same traditions, I started to push my girlfriend away in a sense. I stopped bringing up problems. I didn’t talk things out with her and I got irritated. I thought about the future which didn’t bother me when we first started going out. We talked about it before we started dating. I was in love with this girl.  She did grow every year together into someone more incredible(my ex gf.) our relationship was developing healthy and we did have our bumps in the road but we worked them out.

 

I wouldn’t bring her around my friends or to my community after I got close to the other girl. I would just see her solo. But the other girl would usually be around because we had mutual friends. That is part of the reason of why i didn’t bring my gf around because the other girl would get upset. Now I know that shouldn’t matter but I didn’t want to hurt the other person while I hurt my relationship with my Gf by not inviting her each time.

 

I would go back n forth between what I wanted but i would always tell the other girl I still want to be with my gf but we would still hang out.  

 

I felt as if I was pushing my girlfriend out of my life for something easier. Something that would work so easy. Both girls are amazing and wonderful and it’s been a painful experience for all 3 of us. Yes it’s easier to be with the other girl but I still feel so strongly about my ex.

 

 

So I spent months trying to please both girls until I had a breaking point. That was this January. I went on a break with my gf and spent more time with the other girl to see how it would be. By February I decided to try again with my gf but I still wasn’t ready it was premature and I couldn’t be 100% with her. By mid February we went to try again(2 days)and I felt more comfortable but was still a little reserved but she got sick of it and blocked me.

 

2 weeks later she went on a date I’m 

unblocked. 

 

She told me I hurt her really bad and she waited and hoped for a month and half for me and I damaged her really bad and if we ever wanted to try again we would have to start from the beginning. She doesn’t want to hear words she wants actions and I would have to prove it to her. She doesn’t want to be played with because she not going to sit and wait, she would want to move on.

 

The other girl has been texting me(I had done no communication on both)and things are good. She’s a bit overwhelming because of what I’m dealing with. She really wants to be with me but she understands the situation.

 

I have been missing my ex and thinking about her a lot and before she went on a date I was planning to get in contact with her. It has been effecting the decisions and movement I make with the other girl. I’m still held back from her. 

 

I’m struggling to know what the right decision is and that’s what put me in this mess. Should I let my ex live her life and move on? Should I follow my feelings and try to win her over? Should i be with the other girl who I Have a good connection with. As said before both girls are amazing and very similar. They would text me the same replies sometimes at same time!

 

I just need some advice or thoughts on this whole situation. I tried to write cliff notes of all the major details. I just want to make the right Choice because I’m hurting and I’m tired of them hurting. I can’t fully tell what my heart wants but I miss my ex. Thank you.  

[preraph]

The ex has one moral advantage over the one you cheated with, and that is that she didn't take up with a guy she knew already was in a relationship.  So in that way, your ex is superior.  But on the other hand, the one who agreed to cheat with you is more like you because you were both willing to just think about yourselves and not the one you're betraying and hurting. 

[MrHello22]

I see what your saying and I agree with you on that. But both girls are good hearted.

[Rockdad]

Ok so both girls are good hearted, whats your point?

 

Edited February 28, 2020 by Rockdad

[lonelyplanetmoon]

Your Ex deserves someone way better than you.  You have been acting very selfish, (I was going to use a meaner word than selfish).  You need to leave and block your ex.  If they are such great girls then why do you treat them so bad?  Just commit to the new girl and be happy.  Life is short.  Just don’t start this bs again when the next new girl comes along.

[assertives]

Actually, this is simple enough. The only right thing and the best thing you can do now is to remove yourself from your ex's life and let her go live her life and find someone who would love her like she deserves. She is innocent in all of this and you have hurt her more than enough.

As for the other girl who was willing to cheat with you, once your ex is out of the picture, you can decide if you want to pursue something with this girl or not. I suspect you'll have more clarity without the distraction after you let your ex go. Not ending up with either is also an option, it doesn't necessarily have to be either or.

Edited March 2, 2020 by assertives