Recently I feel I changed

[Brokenheartedman12]

Recently I feel like I changed, I started a new career and after that I feel like I changed. I always had goals or thought of things that will help me improve my life. Recently I’m not sure if I became an a-hole or if I’m just tired of people, people I feel hold me back people that will never leave the same damn home town  they lived in for 30 years. I also feel they are very bsish with their congrats for my career upgrade they see me shying away idk if this is a good thing cause I need to leave things to go to better things or am I a negative person for feeling this way?  

[vla1120]

I'd need to know more information. There's nothing wrong with leaving your home town to pursue "bigger and better" things than you can find in that town. That's what I did and I never moved back. Personally, I can see advantages to both scenarios. I settled outside a large city and it is MUCH different than the small town where I grew up. I do not have the connections to people in my community like you do when you live in a small town.

When I do go back home and visit family (my siblings and their families who have lived in the same area all their lives), sometimes I wish I had that closeness to other members in my community. I'm from a very small town in Michigan and I recently went back for my brother-in-law's funeral. There were so many people expected at the funeral they had to schedule it in the high school gymnasium. The place was packed. He knew everyone. I know I won't have that many people at my funeral. I live outside a city of 1.5 million and I don't even know that many people!

In a small town of 10,000 you'll probably know a LOT more people than you will in a city of 1.5 million people.

And so, to try to answer what I think was your question - to each his own. The people from your small town should not look down on you for pursuing something better for yourself that you could not find in your hometown. Likewise, you should not look down on people who chose to stay in their hometown. Like I said, there are advantages and disadvantages to both.

 

Edited February 28, 2020 by vla1120

[Brokenheartedman12]

Thanks for the reply and I’m sorry for your loss, background I grew up with these people and we’ve been in a club that gets together every now and than but I fee no one has goals or motivation to do better, am I just money hungry? But I give ideas to do better and it’s all negative responses on how it’s hard or not easy we’ll I learned nothing good in life comes easy. I go on YouTube and seeing kids doing big things making really good money and here’s my friends planning to go drink in the same local bar with the same 10 people. Idk I’m just sick of it I can’t wait to move next year. I tend to be like this I get sick of things and I leave them and I never look back I have goals  and love to work hard. 

[vla1120]

12 minutes ago, Brokenheartedman12 said:

I have goals  and love to work hard. 

Well, there is nothing wrong with that!! ^^^

Thank you for your condolences. I remember having the same experience when I would go back home for weekends shortly after I left. Here I was, doing a serious, important job, and their biggest concern was in which bar they were going to spend Friday and Saturday night, so I get it. I also remember questioning why everyone had changed so much. In reality, it was me who had changed. As you broaden your horizons, you will also change. As you move forward, you will start meeting people and making friends with those who have the same drive and motivation as you. Just keep that drive alive. You'll be fine.

Hopefully, moving forward you can keep those friends from your home town because they hold your history growing up. Maybe you won't see them as often, but going back home and speaking to old friends, reminiscing about our antics when we were teens, etc., is always a bitter sweet (mostly sweet) moment that I wouldn't want to trade for anything. It got many of us through those days while we were putting my brother-in-law to rest, laughing about the "glory days." 

Edited February 28, 2020 by vla1120

[Brokenheartedman12]

12 minutes ago, vla1120 said:

Well, there is nothing wrong with that!! ^^^

Thank you for your condolences. I remember having the same experience when I would go back home for weekends shortly after I left. Here I was, doing a serious, important job, and their biggest concern was in which bar they were going to spend Friday and Saturday night, so I get it. I also remember questioning why everyone had changed so much. In reality, it was me who had changed. As you broaden your horizons, you will also change. As you move forward, you will start meeting people and making friends with those who have the same drive and motivation as you. Just keep that drive alive. You'll be fine.

Hopefully, moving forward you can keep those friends from your home town because they hold your history growing up. Maybe you won't see them as often, but going back home and speaking to old friends, reminiscing about our antics when we were teens, etc., is always a bitter sweet (mostly sweet) moment that I wouldn't want to trade for anything. It got many of us through those days while we were putting my brother-in-law to rest, laughing about the "glory days." 

Omg I’m glad I found someone with the similar things happening in life. I had this drive for a realy long time but now that I’m in my career it’s like boom game time! With the feeling of people changing around you I feel same way but it was definitely me. Don’t have time for baby sh anymore. I just feel they don’t have long term goals and will be stuck in the same town. They literally say the same joke they said 3 years ago it’s like ha way to beat a dead horse. I’ll remain friends with them but I can’t wait to do the things that are “hard” in their eyes I laugh when they say they’ll own a big house and a lambo when they complain about working weekends or past their 9-5 😂👍

[Ruby Slippers]

On 2/28/2020 at 12:59 PM, Brokenheartedman12 said:

I also feel they are very bsish with their congrats for my career upgrade they see me shying away idk if this is a good thing cause I need to leave things to go to better things or am I a negative person for feeling this way?  

If you're a driven, ambitious person, it's very normal to drift out of touch with old acquaintances who aren't as driven. Birds of a feather flock together. You're flying the coop, and their congrats are half-hearted most likely because they can't relate to your drive, or they wish they had the determination you do and are a bit jealous.

True friends will celebrate all your successes and be happy for you as you advance in life. These people are very rare.