vla1120 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 (edited) 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 By the time I finished reading your post, my hair was standing on end and my hands were shaking from déjà vu. I've been there, done that! 1. You have a "joint account" to which you have no access? NO. WRONG. Even if he has his own login/password to access the account, you should still be able to set up access for yourself. Stop at the bank and ask for their help, if needed, so you know what is happening with YOUR money. Actually, forget about that - read number 3, below. 2. YOU got a new job and he is going to give you his old car and have you finance a NEW car for him and then accuses YOU of being selfish? Oh HELL no! JUST SAY NO!! 3. Do not put anymore money into that "joint" account. You need to keep your income to yourself. You can contribute to the household - either 50/50, or you can split costs based on a percentage of your incomes, whichever is most fair. If he flips because you no longer put money into the account, stand your ground. I was married for 32 years to my first husband. We never had joint accounts. With my second (controlling and abusive) husband, he insisted on joint accounts. I complied, only to have every penny I spent scrutinized by him AND I WAS THE MAIN BREADWINNER!! (The ONLY breadwinner for most of our marriage.) Please put a stop to this now. If he is anything like my husband, he will not change. He will continue to try to control you, and your finances. I answered "What should I do?" Now let me answer "Am I selfish?" ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! You ARE, however, being groomed and controlled. Feel free to PM me if you have questions. I'm sure there are other things he is doing/saying to you to keep you under his thumb. Edited March 3, 2020 by vla1120 4 Link to post Share on other sites
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