some_username1 Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 I’m laughing to myself whilst writing this because the situation is just so bizarre and a reminder of how ‘out there’ dating is these days. I want to say a lot and yet I can’t say too much to protect the identity of those involved so this is going to be difficult. Basically I connected with a girl over a dating and app she blew me away with the depth of connection. I’ve chatted to hundreds of girls and yet no-one has talked their way into the core of who I am like she has. So I was starting to get optimistic (which I don’t do about online dates because it’s always the way that when you meet it’s just not the same) and feeling like this was the sort of connection that could even transcend physical attraction. We seemed so suited in every theoretical way. She told me she had written some stuff about previous sexual encounters as a cathartic process of getting over past lovers. Fine, I don’t have to read it, knock yourself out. We got chatting on the phone and the connection grew. She started teasing me about what she would look like in a certain uniform. I was enamoured. She then said she had to go, it was late etc. I joked to her that I was riled up now- she said she could send me something to help with that. I was like “great!”. I thought it would be a photo. She sent me a link to her website that contained the stories about her previous encounters. I had a read of the one she sent me and there was nothing truly shocking there but how the hell am I supposed to get over her description of this guy’s dick and her swallowing his cum? You can’t undo this stuff. I think she thought because I was open minded enough to accept that she had such writings I was fine with reading them. It’s like opening Pandora’s box- it seemed like a good idea at the time but it’s actually NOT a good idea and it can’t now be undone. There is a small part of me that wants to hit back by writing a story about the hottest sex I had with my ex and how perfect her tits were (she did have perfect tits to be fair) and contrive a reason to send it to her to see if she is able to handle it herself....but that’s petty and childish and I don’t think she did it maliciously. She thought I could handle it, but I can’t- it changes everything and that oh so rare connection is now blown up in smoke. I just feel bad for her really. It was such a stupid move and I don’t know why she did it. *sigh*. You really can’t make it up in dating can you? Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 Oh dear. Yeah, she really messed that one up. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 (edited) Are you sure she wasn’t a ‘working girl’? Like she wanted to whet your palette before going in for credit card info? Who keeps a website of that? Maybe she’s into that sort of thing though idk. That’s too bad, regardless. Edited February 29, 2020 by Cookiesandough 4 2 Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 3 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said: Are you sure she wasn’t a ‘working girl’? Like she wanted to whet your palette before going in for credit card info? Who keeps a website of that? Maybe she’s into that sort of thing though idk. That’s too bad, regardless. Good point. It never ceases to amaze me how gullible men are when it comes to this sort of thing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author some_username1 Posted February 29, 2020 Author Share Posted February 29, 2020 (edited) Ha! I’m 100% sure she isn’t. As far as I understand she is just a naive girl who thought because I hadn’t judged her on other things (including the existence of her writings) that she thought it was open season and I could handle reading them. The fact people think there is a hooker angle at all further depresses me at how this situation comes across. She really did not just drill a hole in the boat but blow a bloody hole in it. Like I say, I feel bad for her but it’s done now. Edited February 29, 2020 by some_username1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 There is nothing naive in a girl keeping a blog of her sexual encounters! My money is on a 'working girl' as well. I have a male friend who wasn't stupid at all and he ended up fooled by one. She gets you to meet for a first time and then she offers you sex for a few $$. She says nothing before meeting you face to face. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 The minute someone directed me to a website, I would treat it no different than the numerous calls I get each day that start out like...."Hi....May I speak to the person that handles"...….CLICK...…. Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 I am going to BET this was not her FIRST TIME shall we say. Is that diplomatic enough? Link to post Share on other sites
healing light Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 Sounded to me that she thought you would get off on her stories. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 Just walk away. She is somebody you no longer respect. Next. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 She thought it would be a turn-on. It wasn't. Simple as that. (And yeah, you do have to walk away---if you're that bothered then you can't go forward.) It is ridiculous and borderline offensive to suggest she's a sex worker because she's written about her prior sexual experiences. Ever since "Sex and the City" came out 20 years ago women have been blogging, writing, and sharing stories about their sexual encounters. Go to any bookstore and I bet you will find a memoir from some fresh-faced twentysomething with at least a few pages about having bad sex in college. Whether you like it or not it's a fact of life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author some_username1 Posted February 29, 2020 Author Share Posted February 29, 2020 2 minutes ago, lana-banana said: She thought it would be a turn-on. It wasn't. Simple as that. (And yeah, you do have to walk away---if you're that bothered then you can't go forward.) It is ridiculous and borderline offensive to suggest she's a sex worker because she's written about her prior sexual experiences. Ever since "Sex and the City" came out 20 years ago women have been blogging, writing, and sharing stories about their sexual encounters. Go to any bookstore and I bet you will find a memoir from some fresh-faced twentysomething with at least a few pages about having bad sex in college. Whether you like it or not it's a fact of life. Yeah exactly. I just can’t fathom why though? I get wanting to expose who you are and not be judged and like I say I don’t have a problem with her writing it...but why would a girl think a guy wants to read about a one night stand, a description of the other guy and her thought processes during the event...especially when we haven’t even been on a date yet? It’s almost like self sabotage. Like I say, do women want to read about other women’s amazing tits and what a great lay their competition was when they are setting up a date with a guy? My guess would be it is a very small percentage of either gender that would be down for something like that. I literally can’t get over it after the emotional connection we had built up- then that happens. Unreal. Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 27 minutes ago, some_username1 said: Yeah exactly. I just can’t fathom why though? I get wanting to expose who you are and not be judged and like I say I don’t have a problem with her writing it...but why would a girl think a guy wants to read about a one night stand, a description of the other guy and her thought processes during the event...especially when we haven’t even been on a date yet? It’s almost like self sabotage. Like I say, do women want to read about other women’s amazing tits and what a great lay their competition was when they are setting up a date with a guy? Maybe it's part of her screening process; if the guy isn't down with this, then she knows she won't be interested. Maybe she's legitimately naive. All you can know for sure is this isn't what you're looking for. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author some_username1 Posted February 29, 2020 Author Share Posted February 29, 2020 2 minutes ago, lana-banana said: Maybe it's part of her screening process; if the guy isn't down with this, then she knows she won't be interested. Maybe she's legitimately naive. All you can know for sure is this isn't what you're looking for. Good response, hard to argue with that. Although I would say that she probably has a very shall puddle of a dating pool as I can’t imagine many men wanting to read about what the competition has been doing to her before even getting on a first date. There are couples on this forum who have been together 10+ years where discussions of sexual history sever what seemed unbreakable bonds. I have to laugh really. I get asked all the damn time “why the hell are you single- you’re funny, handsome, intelligent, no baggage etc”. Random s*** like this is the reason I’m single! So frustrating... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 My ex was a writer also and wrote that sort of stuff. I peaked at it a few times. Didn't bother me......but that's not fair, I'm a life coach.........I know that who she loves now is important - all the others who came before me don't count, those feelings are now gone. That said, I'm only human, there are still things that can make me jelous. I understand. If you are jelous and can't handle it, just move on to another woman. By the way, can I have her number (I'm joking!)?! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 Wow, that's different. Keeping a private journal of your own experiences or having a website of fiction writing is one thing, but sharing personal stories for everyone to see is a whole other level of openness. Maybe the connection you felt was so great because she's just really good at connecting with people in general. She clearly doesn't have any hang ups and so you in turn felt accepted and understood. The not so great part of that for you is that she is a free spirit that probably has made plenty of other men feel that way as well. Not to say that she isn't interested in you, but it might not have been such a unique experience for her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted February 29, 2020 Share Posted February 29, 2020 It does sound like the bottom line is, despite the connection you felt, you and she aren't really compatible. She needs a guy who can stomach this stuff (ha ha) and I agree there's only so many who can. A bit like dating a former porn star or something. Sounds great in theory (at least to some)... Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 And who would her next blog entry be about? You might become famous with her writing all her bedroom tales if you stick around... I thought the sexual partners count was a bad place to go, and it's just a number.... Having the stories where you can read them is a whole different level. 22 hours ago, some_username1 said: I had a read of the one she sent me and there was nothing truly shocking there but how the hell am I supposed to get over her description of this guy’s dick and her swallowing his cum? Just as you lean in for a kiss, this flashes into your mind!!! And again when you are French kissing..... RETCH!!!!! Maybe if you were bisexual??? Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 On 2/28/2020 at 10:32 PM, some_username1 said: ...There is a small part of me that wants to hit back by writing a story about the hottest sex I had with my ex and how perfect her tits were (she did have perfect tits to be fair) and contrive a reason to send it to her to see if she is able to handle it herself....but that’s petty and childish and I don’t think she did it maliciously. She thought I could handle it, but I can’t- it changes everything and that oh so rare connection is now blown up in smoke. I just feel bad for her really. It was such a stupid move and I don’t know why she did it. I'm guessing that may turn her on if you wrote a similar story. I seriously doubt she'd be jealous. She's has a different sexuality than you; that's all. If anything what she did is not stupid, it's a filter. It's stupid if she wanted to attract a person with your views, but she may not want to. Also nothing wrong if her sexuality is not for you, it's simply compatibility. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 On 2/29/2020 at 9:39 AM, some_username1 said: Good response, hard to argue with that. Although I would say that she probably has a very shall puddle of a dating pool as I can’t imagine many men wanting to read about what the competition has been doing to her before even getting on a first date. There are couples on this forum who have been together 10+ years where discussions of sexual history sever what seemed unbreakable bonds... There are also couples who are swingers and in open relationships...two ends of the spectrum. I believe this forum tends to attract more those where a 10+ year old before they were married encounter tanks the relationship. For myself I can't honestly say until in that position. I do doubt that I'd be off put by the competition, may be put off by the judgement calls such a blog implies, or if she uses it to put down her exs, etc. It would though have me in the camp that this is very unlikely to be a long term relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted March 1, 2020 Share Posted March 1, 2020 On 2/28/2020 at 10:32 PM, some_username1 said: I’m laughing to myself whilst writing this because the situation is just so bizarre and a reminder of how ‘out there’ dating is these days. I want to say a lot and yet I can’t say too much to protect the identity of those involved so this is going to be difficult. Basically I connected with a girl over a dating and app she blew me away with the depth of connection. I’ve chatted to hundreds of girls and yet no-one has talked their way into the core of who I am like she has. So I was starting to get optimistic (which I don’t do about online dates because it’s always the way that when you meet it’s just not the same) and feeling like this was the sort of connection that could even transcend physical attraction. We seemed so suited in every theoretical way. She told me she had written some stuff about previous sexual encounters as a cathartic process of getting over past lovers. Fine, I don’t have to read it, knock yourself out. We got chatting on the phone and the connection grew. She started teasing me about what she would look like in a certain uniform. I was enamoured. She then said she had to go, it was late etc. I joked to her that I was riled up now- she said she could send me something to help with that. I was like “great!”. I thought it would be a photo. She sent me a link to her website that contained the stories about her previous encounters. I had a read of the one she sent me and there was nothing truly shocking there but how the hell am I supposed to get over her description of this guy’s dick and her swallowing his cum? You can’t undo this stuff. I think she thought because I was open minded enough to accept that she had such writings I was fine with reading them. It’s like opening Pandora’s box- it seemed like a good idea at the time but it’s actually NOT a good idea and it can’t now be undone. There is a small part of me that wants to hit back by writing a story about the hottest sex I had with my ex and how perfect her tits were (she did have perfect tits to be fair) and contrive a reason to send it to her to see if she is able to handle it herself....but that’s petty and childish and I don’t think she did it maliciously. She thought I could handle it, but I can’t- it changes everything and that oh so rare connection is now blown up in smoke. I just feel bad for her really. It was such a stupid move and I don’t know why she did it. *sigh*. You really can’t make it up in dating can you? Hey, I know this isn’t the exact thing you’re talking about because you’re talking about all the sex that she actually has in her real life that caused you to get turned off and I admit- it might be kind of intimidating or something to see this, especially knowing you’re probably going to end up next on the blog! But what if when she sent you the link, it was to her fictional writings of sexual escapades? What if she was an erotic novelist that made bank off of it or was just really, really good at putting her fantasies into words and did it for her own pleasure? Women like this do certainly exist out there. What would you think of that? Would it still be a turn off or an intriguing view into her mind? Would you want to date her then or would you think she was perhaps too ...morally bankrupt or straight out weird ? Just curious. Thanks. 🙂 Link to post Share on other sites
Author some_username1 Posted March 2, 2020 Author Share Posted March 2, 2020 7 hours ago, SumGuy said: I'm guessing that may turn her on if you wrote a similar story. I seriously doubt she'd be jealous. She's has a different sexuality than you; that's all. If anything what she did is not stupid, it's a filter. It's stupid if she wanted to attract a person with your views, but she may not want to. Also nothing wrong if her sexuality is not for you, it's simply compatibility. As it happens we carried on chatting and she asked me about my own experiences, I told her and then she admitted to me that she had made a grave error by sending me that blog link as she clearly didn’t like reading about what I had been up to (and I was very gracious in describing online dates that have ended in hook ups- sparing details that I could have inserted to try and stick the knife in). So she gave me a full unreserved apology and now knows the dangers of having to read about what you should be left to imagine. I’m still not sure where that leaves me. To be honest, as with everything, it all comes down to what I value and if she is captivating enough in the flesh then I can look past this blog business. I rather fear that is the issue more than what she wrote- her online dating pictures are great but after she has sent me more through I just don’t think I’m genuinely attracted enough to her and my disappointment is manifesting in me concentrating on this blog as an issue. I shall go on a date with her and hope for the best but I have long had a real issue where I just don’t fancy my online dates in the flesh 90% of the time. Filters and crafty angles mean that attraction in person is a long shot. Body language is king at the end of the day. So we have built up a connection where we are ideologically similar to a degree far beyond anything I’ve experienced in a long while- her world view is rare indeed...and yet I Probably won’t fancy her and that thought makes me sad. Link to post Share on other sites
NerdGoneWild Posted March 2, 2020 Share Posted March 2, 2020 (edited) 35 minutes ago, some_username1 said: As it happens we carried on chatting and she asked me about my own experiences, I told her and then she admitted to me that she had made a grave error by sending me that blog link as she clearly didn’t like reading about what I had been up to (and I was very gracious in describing online dates that have ended in hook ups- sparing details that I could have inserted to try and stick the knife in). So she gave me a full unreserved apology and now knows the dangers of having to read about what you should be left to imagine. I’m still not sure where that leaves me. To be honest, as with everything, it all comes down to what I value and if she is captivating enough in the flesh then I can look past this blog business. I rather fear that is the issue more than what she wrote- her online dating pictures are great but after she has sent me more through I just don’t think I’m genuinely attracted enough to her and my disappointment is manifesting in me concentrating on this blog as an issue. I shall go on a date with her and hope for the best but I have long had a real issue where I just don’t fancy my online dates in the flesh 90% of the time. Filters and crafty angles mean that attraction in person is a long shot. Body language is king at the end of the day. So we have built up a connection where we are ideologically similar to a degree far beyond anything I’ve experienced in a long while- her world view is rare indeed...and yet I Probably won’t fancy her and that thought makes me sad. I think this is something you could get past if you really tried. I suspect that your ego won't let your mind let go. You didn't actually see anything. It is still in your imagination. And you know everyone else you've ever seen [most likely] had sex with other people. I don't know. Maybe I don't have the ego most men seem to have. As long as she's with me when she's with me, I don't care what or who she has done. It is all just a part of being human. And everything she is today is the product of what and who she has done in the past. It all served to help make her who she is today. Edited March 2, 2020 by NerdGoneWild 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 I vote with the others who said "working girl." I've found some like that in my online days....right before they hit you up for credit cards or donations or something. And most working girls who go that route aren't even serious about having you pay them for sex. NEXT PLEASE. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 On 3/1/2020 at 8:40 PM, some_username1 said: ...and yet I Probably won’t fancy her and that thought makes me sad. Well negative prophecies often have a way of self fulfilling. Link to post Share on other sites
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