Should I talk with him or just 'call it quits' as they say

[LightBridge]

I thought had a decent rapport with a casual friend but today when teasing him about cutting in front of someone else he essentially said 'f*** off' and then when my response to the 'f*** off' was 'wait until tomorrow' he continued in saying I 'threatened' him. How when I laughed to show it (the wait until) was a joke, who knows. Besides he should know me enough by now to realize that is not my personality. 

We've had some good chats prior & I like him in a way. So the attitude - sure he can be rude to everyone at some point - threw me. And I'll admit it hurt a bit as he's never been this rude to me. Some part of me is thinking maybe I should talk to him as I've some theories on why he acted so. The other part is thinking you know what I'm too old (not too old but experienced enough 'crummy' people) for this crap anymore and take a neutral/indifferent stance from now on.

[S2B]

Are you sure you want to be friends with someone who needs to be rude enough to cut in line? I see that as ‘I am the exception to the rule’ type of person (entitlement). Not my style - I’d rather be friends with someone that ALLOWS others to go first.

and then the rude reaction... oh hell no.

it isn’t a person that I would spend time with.

these “little things” are indicators of bigger problems... possibly character flaws.

are you just friends or more?

[preraph]

I agree that people who cut in line are probably not worth the trouble. They're either bullies or narcissist or both. them and people who Park their car taking up two parking spaces on purpose because their car is more precious than everyone else's.

[LightBridge]

7 minutes ago, S2B said:

Are you sure you want to be friends with someone who needs to be rude enough to cut in line? I see that as ‘I am the exception to the rule’ type of person (entitlement). Not my style - I’d rather be friends with someone that ALLOWS others to go first.

and then the rude reaction... oh hell no.

it isn’t a person that I would spend time with.

these “little things” are indicators of bigger problems... possibly character flaws.

are you just friends or more?

Oh I agree, rude.

We're just friends. It's amusing to chat, really. 

As for character flaws, we all have some, and gotta admit first time I've seen him cut. Not an excuse, mind you, for the reasons you said. It was more the reaction that made me go wth. I was teasing & that was obvious by tone of voice/smirking/grinning then the subsequent laughter. 

 

Just now, preraph said:

I agree that people who cut in line are probably not worth the trouble. They're either bullies or narcissist or both. them and people who Park their car taking up two parking spaces on purpose because their car is more precious than everyone else's.

As said to S2B first time seen him do it, not an excuse. His reaction was more surprising / uncalled for. 

[preraph]

Or maybe you're just seeing this side of him for the first time.

[LightBridge]

1 minute ago, preraph said:

Or maybe you're just seeing this side of him for the first time.

I've seen some indication before but this was a little out of turn. 

I'm the sort that gives people the 'benefit of the doubt' as they say. But when lines are crossed there's no going back with me (Irish/Scottish, holding grudges is like breathing in a way; as my brother who still has nothing to do with my best friend over a vague not-really-directed-at-him insult 20 years ago can testify) & that's why I'm trying to figure if it/the behaviour is worth broaching with him or just ... you know what an't worth it. 

[S2B]

Not worth it. When someone (anyone) shows you who they are - believe them.

if it were me I  would have left him standing there. 
 

there isn’t one single reason to be patient with people who are purposely rude... and then even more rude when it’s pointed out and they get mad. 
 

life is way too short to waste time on people like that.

[preraph]

I know it seems like a small thing but it's a small thing that shows more about his ethics. Eventually, you'll see more things about him that you don't consider nice or ethical. I had a roommate who would do things like that and thought it was funny. She had mental health issues anyway, but she was eventually diagnosed as also a narcissist. they just think their needs are more important than everyone else's and that everyone else ought to agree with that. not saying he is a full-blown narcissist since you said you haven't seen him do stuff like this before, but just saying where there's smoke there's fire.

 

I don't really see the point of confronting him about it. Maybe just get a little more arms links from him.

[Miss Spider]

Call it quits. He sounds too difficult. And he’s a line cutter. 🤢

[LightBridge]

9 hours ago, S2B said:

Not worth it. When someone (anyone) shows you who they are - believe them.

if it were me I  would have left him standing there. 
 

there isn’t one single reason to be patient with people who are purposely rude... and then even more rude when it’s pointed out and they get mad. 
 

life is way too short to waste time on people like that.

Normally I would've just said you know what, fk you too & left it at that. I don't take kindly to insults particularly when I didn't do anything to really justify it. But, like said, I thought we had a decent rapport.

Guess I overestimated things. Absolutely no loss in the long run as life is far too short for other people's bs. 

9 hours ago, preraph said:

I don't really see the point of confronting him about it. Maybe just get a little more arms links from him.

I was considering the confronting cause I'm the sort to give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I pissed him off more than I thought earlier in the week (a conversation went a bit south) or maybe he was having a 'bad day' as they say. But, as said, this isn't the first time he's given hints (with others) of a negative personality.

And thinking of it in the cool light of day as they say it's simply not worth it. I'm a decent person who's got a lot of respect cause of how I treat people and regardless of the why his behavior just wasn't warranted. Even if I did hypothetically piss him off earlier or he was annoyed... he didn't have to react like that in relation to what was an obvious tease/joke. 

 

Edited March 1, 2020 by LightBridge

[d0nnivain]

10 hours ago, LightBridge said:

 sure he can be rude to everyone at some point - 

You know he's rude to everyone.  You have now been on the receiving end of that.  He's not going to change just because you discuss this with him.  What is there to talk about?  I vote for walk away.  

[simpycurious]

10 hours ago, LightBridge said:

I thought had a decent rapport with a casual friend but today when teasing him about cutting in front of someone else he essentially said 'f*** off' and then when my response to the 'f*** off' was 'wait until tomorrow' he continued in saying I 'threatened' him. How when I laughed to show it (the wait until) was a joke, who knows. Besides he should know me enough by now to realize that is not my personality. 

We've had some good chats prior & I like him in a way. So the attitude - sure he can be rude to everyone at some point - threw me. And I'll admit it hurt a bit as he's never been this rude to me. Some part of me is thinking maybe I should talk to him as I've some theories on why he acted so. The other part is thinking you know what I'm too old (not too old but experienced enough 'crummy' people) for this crap anymore and take a neutral/indifferent stance from now on.

Some people simply cannot take a JOKE of any sort.  Like someone above mentioned, life is short so why put up with nonsense.  I love to laugh and tease my friends but

not in a mean spirited way.  There is nothing better than laughing and smiling.

[Fletch Lives]

Why not find some better friends. Don't play with dogs who bite, or people who bite.

[LightBridge]

29 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

Some people simply cannot take a JOKE of any sort.  Like someone above mentioned, life is short so why put up with nonsense.  I love to laugh and tease my friends but not in a mean spirited way.  There is nothing better than laughing and smiling.

The irony is, is this is the sort of guy who jokes & even laughs at himself sometimes. So though he's given hints of a negative persona the reaction was over the top. I personally love to tease/laugh myself. In fact prior to this 'confrontation' I had been having a good bit of teasing/laughing with other people there (men & women). That's just the way I am.

32 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

Why not find some better friends. Don't play with dogs who bite, or people who bite.

Plenty of better friends that's why in the long-run really couldn't care less. It was more surprised (a wth did this come from) than anything. 

[Fletch Lives]

Where it comes from is - you are getting to know him, and he has a bad attitude.

Not everyone has the same attitude as you do.

[LightBridge]

1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

You know he's rude to everyone.  You have now been on the receiving end of that.  He's not going to change just because you discuss this with him.  What is there to talk about?  I vote for walk away.  

Not defending him but around here he's actually sort of "tame". Gets mouthy sometimes but people can be a lot ruder & sometimes for no good reason except somebody else looked at them "funny".

Edited March 1, 2020 by LightBridge

[Fletch Lives]

27 minutes ago, LightBridge said:

Not defending him but around here he's actually sort of "tame". Gets mouthy sometimes but people can be a lot ruder & sometimes for no good reason except somebody else looked at them "funny".

 - You must live in New York 😄

[LightBridge]

12 minutes ago, Fletch Lives said:

 - You must live in New York 😄

😄 Not quite but we're close enough. 

Edited March 1, 2020 by LightBridge

[Redhead14]

It doesn't sound like there is anything to quit . . .

 

 

[LightBridge]

1 hour ago, Redhead14 said:

It doesn't sound like there is anything to quit . . .

 

 

Seems like it, no. 

[SumGuy]

3 hours ago, LightBridge said:

😄 Not quite but we're close enough. 

Sounds more like Jersey

I would drop him, not do anything any more with him or talk to him, just later days bucko.

 

Edited March 1, 2020 by SumGuy

[LightBridge]

So thanks everyone for the thoughts. I think yesterday I was a bit shocked. 

Now, thinking of prior things/him & this & that, decided that all's said & done and there's no point to this relation anymore. I think, truth be told, some part of me had already made that decision long ago, but as said I'm someone who gives others the benefit of the doubt, and was just waiting for him to cross a line so washing my hands of it/him was easier. I'll be civil but beyond that nothing else. 

Edited March 2, 2020 by LightBridge

[S2B]

Life is way too short to waste your time with people who aren’t kind and loving to others... how someone treats strangers shows their character - or lack of character in this case.