Monica998 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 So I have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 months, we live in the UK. When we met, he was just out of a 4-year relationship with his ex girlfriend, but seemed to be over her already. I met his family, friends, colleagues, so I was thinking that everything was fine with us and he wasn’t a cheater. However, after a while I had noticed that he was talking to his ex on WhatsApp and Messenger quite often, but I cannot check those conversations because the phone is always locked with a pin code. Recently, he went to Italy to sort some bureaucratic things out (he is originally from there) and today I’ve seen a post on his ex girlfriend’s social media that she’s had a dinner with him a few hours ago and he gave her a belated Christmas gift. That gift is a quite expensive Samsung tablet... Before his trip, I accidentally saw him buying this tablet on Ebay... I thought it would be a Christmas gift for me and even wanted to tell him there was no need to pay that much because the sum was not very small... But I suddenly felt I had to keep quiet.. A week later a parcel box showed up in his living room. He said it was some electronics his friends in Italy had asked to buy as they are much cheaper here. Turns out it's for his ex… And he gave me just some cheap crap on Christmas... So… What do you think? Are they actually not separated and is he just lying to me? He says he is gonna stay in the UK long-term and has no plans to go back home… and as far as I know, his ex is a medical student in Italy and cannot just leave university and come over here to be with him. If they are in a long-distance relationship, what is the point for that? Maybe they remained friends, but who would spend that much money to give a gift to an ex? Why didn’t he buy anything expensive to me? I feel angry, disappointed and not trusting him anymore... If an ex with whom I've managed to stay civil after breaking up 7 years ago gave me something now, I would post it on the internet as well... Just to take revenge to my current boyfriend and to stop feeling deceived and unvalued... but of course I don't want to ask my ex to get involved in my problems... Then what should I do? I really feel like the other woman now, a pastime of his... Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 It does indeed sound like he's trying to win his Ex back and feeling deceived seems quite reasonable in your case. I wonder if he's mentioned you to her. It's not clear to me whether you are Plan A or Plan B for him, but it doesn't really matter as there should only be ONE plan (unless he is openly and honestly about multi-dating and you are ok with that). To my mind you're perfectly justified in walking away from this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BTDT2012 Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 I think you should ask him. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 My first response is, "What a jerk!" But, as BTDT wrote, "Ask him." If you do, I hope you"ll post his response. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beendaredonedat Posted March 3, 2020 Share Posted March 3, 2020 (edited) Quote I feel angry, disappointed and not trusting him anymore.. As anyone would when they've discovered that their boyfriend has two women in his life. Get out now and tell him why and don't let him talk you into believing some lie he cooked up to keep you in his bed. You may be No.1 right now but she's his mistress later. You don't even really have to ask him because the trust is gone as it should be since he lied to you in two ways... by not telling you the truth and by with holding facts about her and him meeting. Why bother asking. You have facts. Edited March 3, 2020 by Beendaredonedat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted March 4, 2020 Share Posted March 4, 2020 It says a lot that he bought this "ex" a much more expensive gift than he bought you. You could ask him but can you believe what he says? I wouldn't. If a guy I was dating for six months spent a ton more money on an ex than he did on me that would tell me all I need to know. There is a strong possibility of him still being romantically involved with her. What he tells her might be completely different than what he tells you. He might be planning to move back to Italy in the future or planning to have his "ex" gf move to him in the future. But while they are separated by distance he is lonely and feels entitled to have sex and companionship with someone else until he can be reunited with the woman in Italy. I could be wrong but I believe this scenario is perfectly possible so I wouldn't get any more emotionally invested in him if I were you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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