Poppy's sister Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Please don't be humiliated over a nice gift. It was something you did to show your love, it was thoughtful and kind. Hopefully your ex will feel. Guilt and remorse for his behaviour. I sent a card for AP birthday which was yesterday, in it I wrote how much we had messed up and how I'd do almost anything to have the conversation again. I also had ordered a very special present which was delivered yesterday. I have had silence.. No acknowledgement at all. God it hurts. I know on here we can hypothesise about what it all means, when they do this or that, but my bottom line now is.. Don't waste time on someone who is too rude and too cowardly to even say thank you for a gift. So let's keep the nc today... And then it's another day over 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 5, 2020 Author Share Posted March 5, 2020 6 hours ago, Poppy's sister said: Please don't be humiliated over a nice gift. It was something you did to show your love, it was thoughtful and kind. Hopefully your ex will feel. Guilt and remorse for his behaviour. I sent a card for AP birthday which was yesterday, in it I wrote how much we had messed up and how I'd do almost anything to have the conversation again. I also had ordered a very special present which was delivered yesterday. I have had silence.. No acknowledgement at all. God it hurts. I know on here we can hypothesise about what it all means, when they do this or that, but my bottom line now is.. Don't waste time on someone who is too rude and too cowardly to even say thank you for a gift. So let's keep the nc today... And then it's another day over I know that I won’t even get a thank you. So I’m preparing for it. I had a bad night last night. I went to my ex husbands house to see my little boy since he has him this week. I went to the gym. I tried to occupy myself to keep it together. But when I came home to an empty house I fell apart. 72 hours. I can do this Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Look up transitional relationships. Men tend to engage in this type of relationship when a long term relationship is coming to an end or just ended. How would you compare yourself to his wife? Are the two of you very different? I betting yes. I suspect that he, at one point believed you two could have a future, but that was before he was free. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 5, 2020 Author Share Posted March 5, 2020 It shows the package was delivered 30 minutes ago. So I’m offended even tho I knew he wouldn’t so much as say thank you and I’m embarrassed that it got delivered in the first place. I just want to go home and go to bed 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy's sister Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Do not be embarrassed You have not done anything wrong sending a gift I can sympathise.. Its just unbelievable to me that they can literally cut us out of their lives. My AP.. Saw me in tears and walk off into the night and he has not even texted to see if I am OK.. Yet merely hours before that conversation he was saying he couldn't wait to see me.. Broken86... In your case I do think he has decided he might prefer playing the field, he doesn't want another "marriage" Its absolutely s***ty thing to do and I think these men know for months they have changed their minds but they string things along cus its nice for their ego. Try to think.. Do I want to be with someone who can be deliberately cruel.. I trying that today.. But it's not working for me.. ☺ So probably rubbish advice. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 5, 2020 Author Share Posted March 5, 2020 Today just. Sucks Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy's sister Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Yes it does Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 5, 2020 Author Share Posted March 5, 2020 He’s used to me contacting him or saying hi. He expects it. I doubt he wants it now. But I’m sure he’s probably surprised that I’m not trying to. That’s what keeps me going. I just wish he didn’t get the giant ego boost of a nice gift with some stupid girl telling him how proud she is that they’re together. 😞 Link to post Share on other sites
Beca L Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 41 minutes ago, Poppy's sister said: Its absolutely s***ty thing to do and I think these men know for months they have changed their minds but they string things along cus its nice for their ego. Or they want to keep you as the back up plan just in case they change their minds or can’t get another OW. Shocking behaviour from these self entitled, narcissistic, liars. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beca L Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 2 hours ago, Broken86 said: I know that I won’t even get a thank you. So I’m preparing for it. I had a bad night last night. I went to my ex husbands house to see my little boy since he has him this week. I went to the gym. I tried to occupy myself to keep it together. But when I came home to an empty house I fell apart. 72 hours. I can do this I know exactly how you feel and you are not alone. When my kids are with their dad I’m on my own and it’s tough. I had a wonderful year with my xmm and we had some amazing times together when my kids were with their dad. I miss those times and it’s really hard. I’m lonely. Try to keep NC. It’s the only way. xo 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Beca L Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 25 minutes ago, Broken86 said: He’s used to me contacting him or saying hi. He expects it. I doubt he wants it now. But I’m sure he’s probably surprised that I’m not trying to. That’s what keeps me going. I just wish he didn’t get the giant ego boost of a nice gift with some stupid girl telling him how proud she is that they’re together. 😞 I think he’ll realise you ordered the gift before so don’t worry about that. You haven’t contacted him so he will be expecting you to. The longer you don’t the more curious he will get. Just keep going. 🙂 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 5, 2020 Author Share Posted March 5, 2020 32 minutes ago, Beca L said: I think he’ll realise you ordered the gift before so don’t worry about that. You haven’t contacted him so he will be expecting you to. The longer you don’t the more curious he will get. Just keep going. 🙂 He has his kids this week. And he stays busy with work and both kids schedules. And he will begin playing tournaments every weekend starting this weekend. So I don’t imagine he’s hurting at all. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to recover my reputation, get my son settled into a new home and try to figure out how to pay my bills. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beca L Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 12 minutes ago, Broken86 said: He has his kids this week. And he stays busy with work and both kids schedules. And he will begin playing tournaments every weekend starting this weekend. So I don’t imagine he’s hurting at all. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to recover my reputation, get my son settled into a new home and try to figure out how to pay my bills. Try not to think too much about what he is thinking or doing. It serves no purpose and you don’t really know. He has been a part of your life for 3 years. You can’t just switch off feelings like that. I’m sure he does care and still has strong feelings for you. Maybe he is just trying to get his head straight and that is without you in the picture. I’m sorry you are struggling after your divorce. Just remember things can only get better, you are at the bottom now. The only way is up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy's sister Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Sending you kind thoughts, peace and hugs. I am in bed and thinking.. Its another day done.. Let's hope tomorrow is easier. Remember you are not alone in this 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beca L Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 39 minutes ago, Poppy's sister said: Sending you kind thoughts, peace and hugs. I am in bed and thinking.. Its another day done.. Let's hope tomorrow is easier. Remember you are not alone in this Yes. We got through another day. Hope you have a relaxing sleep. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 5, 2020 Author Share Posted March 5, 2020 Unfortunately, it’s only 4 pm on my end of the globe. If you’ve ever heard the country music song by Chris young called drowning.. ladies, tonight I’m drowning Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) So sorry he is putting you through this. He got what he wanted, then got caught. Saved face and got you to leave your BS. Now it is at the move in together phase, he doesn’t trust you as you both were in a relationship and discarded your BS when caught. Sorry he doesn’t want to be in a for filling relationship with a cheater. His mind set not mine. One day at a time, surrounded yourself with friends. Despise him he helped you to get where you are now! Exercise, drink water, join social groups, get rid of all of his memories. It isn’t worth holding onto this hope. He never wanted a long term marriage with you. He is a pig. buffer Edited March 7, 2020 by Buffer Spelling 1 Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 standard OM lies was all that he fed to you. OM will say anything to get laid. and that is what your OM did. many OM dump their OW after D day even if they get divorced. OM will accept sex on the side from a OW, but will not marry her. in their mind if their OW will cheat with you they will cheat on you. good enough to have sex with though not marry in their mind. was the OM worth losing your house, becoming a part time mom, child raise in a broken family? you need an IC that will wake you up to reality. your OM is a POSOM. he is not worth mourning over. you should be happy that he is out of your life. instead mourn the life you lost and use that to motivate you to heal and repair the damage your cheating has done to your family. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 9, 2020 Author Share Posted March 9, 2020 I’m freaking out. One week today. I made it one whole week and didn’t contact him. Hardest damn thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s 9am on a Monday morning here and all of a sudden he texts me a photo. WHY???? What am I supposed to do here. I’m about to fall apart at work. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 9, 2020 Share Posted March 9, 2020 It's called breadcrumbing. If you want to continue NC better stay firm, else you will get sucked back in (happens all the time). You may need to block him if he keeps it up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Broken86 Posted March 9, 2020 Author Share Posted March 9, 2020 3 hours ago, mark clemson said: It's called breadcrumbing. If you want to continue NC better stay firm, else you will get sucked back in (happens all the time). You may need to block him if he keeps it up. He tried texting for a few hours then tried to call once. I didn’t respond. And I’m hurting to my core. I think he gave up he hasn’t tried again for two hours 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beca L Posted March 9, 2020 Share Posted March 9, 2020 9 hours ago, Broken86 said: I’m freaking out. One week today. I made it one whole week and didn’t contact him. Hardest damn thing I’ve ever done in my life. It’s 9am on a Monday morning here and all of a sudden he texts me a photo. WHY???? What am I supposed to do here. I’m about to fall apart at work. Hi, so sorry I only just saw your message. How are you? Hope you are ok. Did you reply to his texts? I think the best thing to do is ignore him for now, put some space between you and him. He isn't going to go away in a hurry but he needs to realise that he can't treat you like this. If he really wants a future with you then he will make the necessary steps to be with you. Don't accept anything less, otherwise he will do nothing and you will just remain his backup plan. Stay strong, we are all here for you. Congrats on making it to a whole week of NC. Link to post Share on other sites
Poppy's sister Posted March 10, 2020 Share Posted March 10, 2020 I am not sure how to advise as I am at two weeks mark and not a word from my AP. I hope you can main your dignity and nc.. Though I am desperately hoping my AP would reach out. But agree with everyone else.. You will just fall into same old push pull.. Breadcrumbs.. If these men finally decide we are absolutely what they want then they can come fight for us. I'd want more than a few txts and a photo.. I am going to want dozens of red roses, committed dates, and a lot of effort on his part 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sinful Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 On 3/4/2020 at 10:09 AM, Poppy's sister said: Honestly not well... It just seems so unbelievable doesn't it... How they can just flip a switch.. That's the one thing that still gets me. It's like for years you're supposedly the most important person in the world to them and then the next day it's like you're not even a thought that crosses their mind. And then the other extreme of how they can so easily jump right into another relationship without batting an eye so to speak also baffles me. I may casually hookup with someone, but by no means could I emotionally jump into a new relationship so quickly. On 3/4/2020 at 11:17 AM, Poppy's sister said: its his birthday today, i have sent an email 2 days ago , and a card today both saying i think we made a mess of the conversation and we both just are misunderstanding each other...and his present which i ordered weeks ago will be delivered to his office today..but its 16:15..and i have not had anything. It is making feel quite cross now...ok you want to be stubborn and not talk, fine , but you could at least say thankyou for the present . Which is something really unique and special..he races off shore yachts and i tracked down the photographer from a race he did several years ago and he found the most amazing picture of my AP's boat in full sail crashing through a wave...its stunning and i had it printed onto canvas. So its something really special. wish i hadnt bothered now..wish id sent a new work shirt ! To me this breaks no contact. For me, no contact means NO contact. No emails, no texts, no calls, no sending packages, nothing. I know it hurts on special occasions not being able to contact that person but they have to feel your absence and feel what it's like for them not to have YOU in their life. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted March 14, 2020 Share Posted March 14, 2020 This happens in almost every affair. Look at the other threads. Once the excitement and thrill of it is over, it ends Link to post Share on other sites
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