I was given so much, now it's been tsken away.

[CALIGIRL075]

Here is the deal. I met this guy at work. We started dating during his divorce. His divorce has been final and we have been dating for 8 months..He gave me every thing a girl could want. He's Caring, protecting, loving, trustful affectionate, and I was a little scared it was going to fast so told him we should take a break. Well he was so hurt by it, he decided to go back to his ex wifes house, but he says it is totaly for his two girls sake...he is a great father and I regret now saying I wanted a break. I need him in my life and have told him this and how I will show him if he gives me the chance. I think he is indecisive and while he is indecisive, he is staying there ! Its driving me crazy. How can I make him realise he can be a good father and also have me and not have to be there. They say NEVER TO STAY IN A MARRAGE because of the kids !! Isnt this right ! !! please help.

[Tony T]

You made a very serious mistake by getting involved with a man in the midst of a divorce. This is a very difficult time for anyone and there's a lot of emotional torment and confusion that goes along with it.

 

If you think you can just show up during this time and take over someone's life, you're wrong. There are bonds that must be severed and healing that must take place. There are even more problems when two people have had children together.

 

A lot of people go through divorce and then miss each other or have second thoughts. They may get together and split up numerous times. Many actually start living together again without marriage and get along great. I hope you have learned something here.

 

Pull way back from this one and go find yourself a nice single guy. Even if this guy comes back to you, his confusion and hurt will likely destroy his relationship with you eventually. In other words, what you were was a rebound or transitional relationship. These kinds of healing relationships are rarely permanent.

 

It's really grand for someone who is going through the pain of a divorce to have someone like you around as a diversion.

 

I'm really sorry I couldn't have discussed this with you ahead of time. But, then again, it's not likely you would have listened.

[sparkle]

I totally agree with Tony. Don't ever get involved with a man who's going through a divorce. Big mistake.

 

He's old enough to figure out what to do with his life, on his own. He's old enough to know what's best for him. Even after the divorce is completely final, all the paperwork is complete, and everything is settled, a person needs plenty of time to heal and to get over their ex. But they need to be ALONE during that time, not getting involved in another relationship.

 

There are MANY single guys out there that aren't going through this type of situation. Find one of them to be with. Don't try to complicate your life by bringing these types of unnecessary problems upon yourself.

[wombat]

"I'm really sorry I couldn't have discussed this with you ahead of time. But, then again, it's not likely you would have listened."

 

You sure think your hot stuff and that you have the best advice. who are you to say she probably wouldn't have listened to you. You are by far the most arrogant person I've read here. Don't you have a life? I see your reply to damn near every single message here. I guess if you don't have a life you like to meddle in other's lives and think you're their savior. pffffft.

 

You made a very serious mistake by getting involved with a man in the midst of a divorce. This is a very difficult time for anyone and there's a lot of emotional torment and confusion that goes along with it. If you think you can just show up during this time and take over someone's life, you're wrong. There are bonds that must be severed and healing that must take place. There are even more problems when two people have had children together.

 

A lot of people go through divorce and then miss each other or have second thoughts. They may get together and split up numerous times. Many actually start living together again without marriage and get along great. I hope you have learned something here. Pull way back from this one and go find yourself a nice single guy. Even if this guy comes back to you, his confusion and hurt will likely destroy his relationship with you eventually. In other words, what you were was a rebound or transitional relationship. These kinds of healing relationships are rarely permanent. It's really grand for someone who is going through the pain of a divorce to have someone like you around as a diversion. I'm really sorry I couldn't have discussed this with you ahead of time. But, then again, it's not likely you would have listened.