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A question for those here who are married

Backinthesaddleagain

By Backinthesaddleagain,
in General Relationship Discussion

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Backinthesaddleagain

Backinthesaddleagain

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I have noticed posts from some of you who are married. Why would you be on a dating forum? And is your spouse ok with it? Just seems really bizarre to me. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have input from you and see the other side's viewpoints, I just find it kind of strange and am curious about your reasons for being here.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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I started with forums when I was dating.  It was nice to have another perspective.  I stuck around because I met some nice people & I realize that I make an OK sounding board.  Also I had good dating experiences so I thought I could share those & possibly help somebody else benefit. 

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carhill

carhill

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LS is an interpersonal relationship forum and marriage is one form of relationship and practically everyone who's been married has dated. Some people like discussing relationship issues.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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Springsummer

Springsummer

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2 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I have noticed posts from some of you who are married. Why would you be on a dating forum? And is your spouse ok with it? Just seems really bizarre to me. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have input from you and see the other side's viewpoints, I just find it kind of strange and am curious about your reasons for being here.

I have the same question. especially I just read a poster saying she fell for hubby at first sigh, and happily married for 20 years. so I was wandering why is she here.

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Allupinnit

Allupinnit

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For me it's entertainment.  My H knows and he'll even read threads here with me. 

Lots of people also contribute to the "Other Man/Woman" section who have never cheated, or been cheated on.  I sometimes read the break-up section and remember what it was like counting days that I had gone without calling an ex.  And, I dated a whole lot and can sympathize with other women who are also navigating those difficult waters (have only been married a few years).

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LivingWaterPlease

LivingWaterPlease

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I'm single but read and comment on the married threads. I'm not married, but have been. Just as some are responding they're married but have dated in the past so can relate.

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princessaurora

princessaurora

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I'm here because I love helping people and sharing my insight and experience. I majored in psych so assisting with problems is my passion. I didn't spend too much time in the dating section though until my daughter had a major issue with a guy she liked and ya'll were so helpful and open with the different perspectives and advice, I decided I wanted to give back, so if I see a subject I feel my comments might contribute to, I post. I do have to admit, though, I find it interesting to see how much dating has changed since I was in the pool. 

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Piddy

Piddy

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I came here with an issue and decided to stay.  I'm retired and this place is a good pastime for me.  Hopefully I can offer some insight here and there.

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Blind-Sided

Blind-Sided

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First.... it's not a "Dating" forum.  It's a forum on relationships. And... because of that... why would any SO have an issue???? 

With that said... I'm not married anymore, and I can to this forum because I needed help coping with what was happening in my life. Now I'm better, and back into dating... and it's still a good place to ask for insight, and to help others.

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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I am fascinated by human nature and I have dating and relationship experience. I am interested in sharing that experience with others, supporting them, giving them hope, maybe showing them a way to happiness they have not considered yet. 

I first came on here in 2014 after a heartbreak and I stayed. I grew to respect many of the regulars on here and I always look forward to read their input on those stories we read.

My long-term bf and my 2 daughters know I participate to a 'forum'. Sometimes I even ask my bf his opinion on some of the stories we hear on here. When he watches sports I sit next to him with my laptop and he asks me about the stories I read and what advice I give. Sometimes he gets back to me a few days later and he'll ask if I have an update on a certain story. 

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RecentChange

RecentChange

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Like others have said, this isn't a "dating forum" - notice the sections for general relationship, marriage, sex, infidelity etc?

I came here during a period of my own infidelity, and honestly this site was a big help during that time. 

Besides that, I have a degree in sociology, and have a deep interest in interpersonal relationships, and have always been a student of sexuality. 

This is a good safe space to discuss matters that I simply can't in my outside life. 

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Backinthesaddleagain

Backinthesaddleagain

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10 minutes ago, RecentChange said:

Like others have said, this isn't a "dating forum" - notice the sections for general relationship, marriage, sex, infidelity etc?

I came here during a period of my own infidelity, and honestly this site was a big help during that time. 

Besides that, I have a degree in sociology, and have a deep interest in interpersonal relationships, and have always been a student of sexuality. 

This is a good safe space to discuss matters that I simply can't in my outside life. 

I posted this in the "Dating" section, and the mods moved it here. I saw a few married folks posting a lot there, and I was curious. My curiosity is quelled, but I still think it is weird.  

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Gaeta

Gaeta

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6 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I posted this in the "Dating" section, and the mods moved it here. I saw a few married folks posting a lot there, and I was curious. My curiosity is quelled, but I still think it is weird.  

Because dating issues are as interesting to us as the marriage, family, parenting, sexual, break up issues.  When you are interested human's behavior it doesn't stop at marriage issues because you're married. 

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mark clemson

mark clemson

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This is really a lot more than a dating forum.

Here's an answer I gave to a somewhat similar recent question:

 

 

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LivingWaterPlease

LivingWaterPlease

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1 hour ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

 My curiosity is quelled, but I still think it is weird.  

Not sure if you can express it, but why do you think it's weird that people would want to help others with an issue they're not experiencing presently but have insight on?

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Blind-Sided

Blind-Sided

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Yep... just like the above post says... "Why would it be weird?"  It's not like the married people would be on here looking for a date. 

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GeorgiaPeach1

GeorgiaPeach1

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14 hours ago, Springsummer said:

I have the same question. especially I just read a poster saying she fell for hubby at first sigh, and happily married for 20 years. so I was wandering why is she here.

Since she's been happily married for 20 years, perhaps she has some good advice for the rest of us.

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vla1120

vla1120

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I joined in 2013. Up until about two years ago, I had usually only visited the Separation and Divorce forum, and maybe the Coping forum on my darkest days. Like many, I have life experience in most of the forums, so I like to contribute where I feel comfortable. Any interest I've had in the Dating forum is usually related to the experiences of my daughters. Dating is vastly different than it was when I was younger so I like to try to understand it from my daughters' perspective (which I've found nearly impossible! 😂)

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RecentChange

RecentChange

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1 hour ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I posted this in the "Dating" section, and the mods moved it here. I saw a few married folks posting a lot there, and I was curious. My curiosity is quelled, but I still think it is weird.  

Life isn't stagnate. Just because someone is married it doesn't mean that they will not run into relationship issues.

This isn't a hook up site, nor a dating site. Perhaps you should read the front page:

"Welcome to LoveShack.org; an interpersonal relationship advice and assistance center providing a forum to confront personal conflicts, promote participation in self-discovery and responsibility, and to share dating tips, love advice, and platonic relationship resources.

....Our volunteers and other guests assist you with problems or questions that you may have regarding relationships and other socially oriented questions....

Have questions or concerns about your significant other, coworkers, family, or just relationships in general? Not sure who to turn to? Enter now and let our caring, close-knit community help you find the answers for yourself!"

Again, not a dating site. 

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Backinthesaddleagain

Backinthesaddleagain

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I am on here because I am back in the dating pool. I will have questions and possibly need advice throughout the adventure. I also like giving advice and helping others. But honestly, after I find a partner I will probably not be back. I just have too many other things going on in my life, as well as other forums that I occasionally visit about hobbies and things I am interested in. I'm not judging people on here who are here for the entertainment, or who are here to actually try to help people. I was just curious is all. Carry on :) 

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vla1120

vla1120

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9 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

I don't think you realize the addiction factor of this site, @Backinthesaddleagain LOL :)

Truth! I like to come back and see where people are in the journey after they've gotten everyone's advice.

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Kitty Tantrum

Kitty Tantrum

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I've never seen this as a "dating forum" at all. It's not like we're swiping on matches or looking for dates here.

It's a DISCUSSION FORUM. Where people can talk about all sorts of relationship things. There are even specific boards for things like family and business relationships.

So "why would you be here if you are married?" is a really weird question.

First of all: every married couple will face relationship issues that benefit from neutral, third-party input.

Second of all: married people still have friends, family, co-worker, community, etc. relationships - all of which are covered here.

I mean, I'm here because I HAVE a relationship that I'm actively working on. I don't think I'd be here if I DIDN'T. This isn't where you come to find the "one weird trick" to "get" a girlfriend or anything like that.

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Backinthesaddleagain

Backinthesaddleagain

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20 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said:

I've never seen this as a "dating forum" at all. It's not like we're swiping on matches or looking for dates here.

It's a DISCUSSION FORUM. Where people can talk about all sorts of relationship things. There are even specific boards for things like family and business relationships.

So "why would you be here if you are married?" is a really weird question.

First of all: every married couple will face relationship issues that benefit from neutral, third-party input.

Second of all: married people still have friends, family, co-worker, community, etc. relationships - all of which are covered here.

I mean, I'm here because I HAVE a relationship that I'm actively working on. I don't think I'd be here if I DIDN'T. This isn't where you come to find the "one weird trick" to "get" a girlfriend or anything like that.

KT,

Everything has been addressed already, read through the posts. Don't have a TANTRUM :) 

Thanks 

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FMW

FMW

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4 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I just have too many other things going on in my life, as well as other forums that I occasionally visit about hobbies and things I am interested in. I'm not judging people on here

Ok, but it DOES come off a little judgy.....

I'm pretty sure most people here have plenty other things going on.  That's why there are so many viewpoints and experiences offered.  

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