A question for those here who are married

[Backinthesaddleagain]

4 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I am on here because I am back in the dating pool. I will have questions and possibly need advice throughout the adventure. I also like giving advice and helping others. But honestly, after I find a partner I will probably not be back. I just have too many other things going on in my life, as well as other forums that I occasionally visit about hobbies and things I am interested in. I'm not judging people on here who are here for the entertainment, or who are here to actually try to help people. I was just curious is all. Carry on  

 

8 minutes ago, FMW said:

Ok, but it DOES come off a little judgy.....

I'm pretty sure most people here have plenty other things going on.  That's why there are so many viewpoints and experiences offered.  

FMW, please re-read this post I made. I am on here for many of the same reasons. I was just curious about the married folks posting on the dating section of this forum, that's it. I got answers from several people and it addressed my curiosity. Not sure why people keep going on about it. Read through the thread before posting so you can see if your post makes sense or not. Sheesh

Come to think of it, what do you care if I am judging you anyways? What do you want me to say, get off of the dating forum ya married loser! Is that better? 😛 

 

 

[lana-banana]

A lot of us started here when we were single, dating, or figuring out relationships and never really left. I like posting here for the same reason people like reading r/relationships: it's interesting to read what's going on with people. I get really into some threads and tell my husband about them, and he'll often ask stuff like "So how are your stories?" like I'm an old lady watching soap operas. It's harmless entertainment, and I do like offering valuable advice on the off chance that I might have some.

[Kitty Tantrum]

2 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

KT,

Everything has been addressed already, read through the posts. Don't have a TANTRUM  

Thanks 

Why do you think I CHOSE this name? DON'T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO. *foot stomp*

❤️

[major_merrick]

My husband and partners don't know I'm on the forum.  I've kept this my dirty little secret for a few years now.  Sometimes it helps to get another perspective.  Sometimes it helps to write...like a diary, but less findable.  And other times, I enjoy sparring with "normal people" because it confirms that I'm living life the right way while the masses of the proletariat are just crazy. 

[neowulf]

I find it absolutely fantastic that people from healthy marriages and relationships come here to share their experiences.

LoveShack is a place to not only share pain, but wisdom.  I've received some truely excellent advice and perspective from some of the long time posters here.

The last thing I'd want to see is for those peopl to stop posting, or feel that their experiences weren't valued and appreciated.

Edited March 5, 2020 by neowulf
Spelling

[Daisydooks]

On 3/3/2020 at 9:05 PM, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I have noticed posts from some of you who are married. Why would you be on a dating forum? And is your spouse ok with it? Just seems really bizarre to me. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have input from you and see the other side's viewpoints, I just find it kind of strange and am curious about your reasons for being here.

Well, for me, I'm not on a "dating forum." I'm on a forum for interpersonal relationships. I respond to "new" posts. Simply put. Lol. 

Take a look around...... it isnt just "dating." At one point, not so very long ago, I was dating my partner. I feel my perspective adds value or can add value. I hope it does, anyway haha 

My spouse is fine with it, to answer your question.

Edited March 5, 2020 by Daisydooks

[Els]

Lots of people stay on communities that they joined, even if they don't have a "need" for the community any longer. I didn't see a reason to shut down all my accounts on relationship forums after I signed my marriage form, lol.

[pepperbird]

On 3/3/2020 at 10:05 PM, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I have noticed posts from some of you who are married. Why would you be on a dating forum? And is your spouse ok with it? Just seems really bizarre to me. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to have input from you and see the other side's viewpoints, I just find it kind of strange and am curious about your reasons for being here.

maybe this is just due to my lack of fluency when it comes to social media terms, but isn't the forum made up of a variety of sections, including ones related to marriage and other subjects, or am I misunderstanding the term "forum "?

[Backinthesaddleagain]

24 minutes ago, pepperbird said:

maybe this is just due to my lack of fluency when it comes to social media terms, but isn't the forum made up of a variety of sections, including ones related to marriage and other subjects, or am I misunderstanding the term "forum "?

It was specifically about posting in the "dating" section. But if you actually read through the thread, you will see that everything has been addressed already.

 

Thanks

[FMW]

20 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Read through the thread before posting so you can see if your post makes sense or not. Sheesh

I was specifically responding to the portion of your post that stated you wouldn't be hanging around once your issue was resolved because you have too many other things going on in your life (not to the original question of why married people post in the dating section).  Seems to indicate you think anyone who does stick around longer than to just get the answer to their particular question has too much time on their hands.  I was trying to politely offer a counter.   

[Kitty Tantrum]

29 minutes ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

It was specifically about posting in the "dating" section. But if you actually read through the thread, you will see that everything has been addressed already.

OP: this is a DISCUSSION FORUM and a COMMUNITY. Not an "answer my question once and then everyone shut up" sort of deal. Sheesh.

You asked a question that LOTS OF PEOPLE will have input on and probably want to talk about because 1) it is relevant to them, and 2) you asked. Acting like nobody should say anything that someone else has already said is... antithetical to the entire premise of message boards as communities.

[Backinthesaddleagain]

24 minutes ago, FMW said:

I was specifically responding to the portion of your post that stated you wouldn't be hanging around once your issue was resolved because you have too many other things going on in your life (not to the original question of why married people post in the dating section).  Seems to indicate you think anyone who does stick around longer than to just get the answer to their particular question has too much time on their hands.  I was trying to politely offer a counter.   

I wasn't saying that at all. Everyone has different interests of course, and how we choose to spend our time is our own business. I wasn't trying to be condescending at all, I apologize.

16 minutes ago, Kitty Tantrum said:

OP: this is a DISCUSSION FORUM and a COMMUNITY. Not an "answer my question once and then everyone shut up" sort of deal. Sheesh.

You asked a question that LOTS OF PEOPLE will have input on and probably want to talk about because 1) it is relevant to them, and 2) you asked. Acting like nobody should say anything that someone else has already said is... antithetical to the entire premise of message boards as communities.

Yes, I realize that now after numerous responses. My bad KT. 

[chillii]

For some silly reason , especially for a guy . l'm just interested in relationship stuff , so that's why l'm around.

Really though l'm in the wrong forum because there's very few real relationship and marriage posts it's all mainly just single people meeting people and all the dramas or what few relationship things there are is usually just quickie short term stuff with no real feelings or long term involved .

Haven't had much luck in finding any moreso actual relationship forums , not any that are moving and have some life in them anyway.

 

 

Edited March 7, 2020 by chillii

[SumGuy]

54 minutes ago, chillii said:

...

Haven't had much luck in finding any moreso actual relationship forums , not any that are moving and have some life in them anyway.

Same.    But looking at all the adds that are now here after the change maybe there is a niche needing to be filled.

[FireToAsh]

Unfortunately my marriage is lukewarm and not engaging. Unhappy. And I am lonely. Also dont have friends around where I live (they are abroad). So it's nice (first time today) to meet and chat. Hopefully I'll get direct feedback. I know it's not very altruistic but at least I am honest and hopefully sincere.

[smackie9]

I'm here because I have a lot of experience to share, good and bad...a lot of life experience/knowledge. To help out people who are confused, need insight, a kick in the butt, whatever. I also enjoy the community, rubbin elbows with like people.

Why the hell would my husband have an issue me being on a relationship/dating ADVICE site? It's not like I'm looking for a date or hookin up. Egad!