Metsgal Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 For example, a guy drives a "nice" car, by nice I mean, like a car that probably cost more than $25,000, not some Ford Focus. If she tells him, "oh, you drive a nice car." Is that a gold-digger comment? Or what other kinds of behaviors/comments? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Conversations revolve around money and stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Author Metsgal Posted March 7, 2020 Author Share Posted March 7, 2020 Like asking how much money someone makes, that type of convo? Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 She'll know a Patek from a Seiko, forex, and details about stuff women usually can care less about. Lots of little comments and questions. Sizing him up. I doubt she'd ask salary questions, not today, not with GlassDoor and LinkedIn and similar, rather talk a little shop about work stuff and research later. Smaller the pond, the easier to gauge the fish. People talk. Then it's simply a matter of providing the right bait. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 usually "high maintenance" women are also gold-diggers. you'll know one when you see one Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 A whole 25 grand? Oh yeah....gold diggin b!tches all over my new Accord...😂 TFY 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Metsgal said: For example, a guy drives a "nice" car, by nice I mean, like a car that probably cost more than $25,000, not some Ford Focus. If she tells him, "oh, you drive a nice car." Is that a gold-digger comment? Or what other kinds of behaviors/comments? Drive a truck, and that goes away. My Last truck was $60k... and it was just a truck. Could have driven a $40k BMW or Benz and people would think I was showing off. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 But you can help her move, so... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 24 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: Could have driven a $40k BMW or Benz and people would think I was showing off. I didn't know you could get into a Bimmer or Benz for just $40K. I have always figured they start around the mid-50s Link to post Share on other sites
K.K. Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 I keep reading the title of the thread and asking myself if you’re actually trying to seek advice on how to not ask the wrong, most obvious gold digger questions. Like is it for pointers or what. 😂 j/k 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Oh, also, they'll cruise charity events or even get on staff to assess wealthy donors. It's access. I grew up with all the schmoozing so got a sense of it over time. IME they won't discuss stuff like cars and their cost, rather show up at the concors and rub some elbows with casual knowledge of what's on display. Also, pyramiding, building from one guy to the next, using gifts and influence/access from one to sell the next. Even the most cynical of men deep down want to believe women are good. The grifters capitalize on that. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 When dating, the first clue would be that she expects the guy to pay for everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) It’s not words as much as action. Like basil said, wanting the guy to pay for everything or accepting free stuff from him. A lot of gold diggers don’t hide it. xD This girl I know who has a couple sugar daddies just made a post on Facebook that said something like “if you’re over 45, don’t slide in my dm unless you want to buy me stuff” Edited March 7, 2020 by Cookiesandough 1 Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Does she have a pulse? Is she straight? Does she have any debts? If all of those conditions are met, you've probably got a gold-digger of one kind or another. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Some of you might be too young to remember this one, but as the song lyrics go.. "Oh, life is too serious, love's too mysterious A fly girl like me needs security" 😂 TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 You find out if a woman is a golddigger by acting poor. Drive a cheap car on dates and don't show her the Porsche until she is in love with you after two months. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 The guy I've been dating drives a very nice Mercedes, I would not assume he is rich because of it though- it could be bought on credit? I imagine a lot of 'gold-diggers' will be disappointed once they get beyond the facade 💰 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Fletch Lives Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 12 minutes ago, Ellener said: The guy I've been dating drives a very nice Mercedes, I would not assume he is rich because of it though- it could be bought on credit? I imagine a lot of 'gold-diggers' will be disappointed once they get beyond the facade 💰 - and you go on reasonably priced dates in the beginning, and no gifts. True love is not about the money, it's about the right company 😉 And if you go to another country looking for a mail-order bride.......tell her you love her and are ready to move in with her and her 7 brothers and sisters in their one-room shack! Watch her reaction.....if she smiles and hugs you, marry her! But if she goes into shock, you better hop back on the boat and go home with your tail between your legs! 😄 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 It depends on the woman too. If she has her own money & can support herself no matter what she says about somebody else's cars etc. she's not a gold digger. But someone who hangs out at certain kinds of places where she's likely to meet wealthy men & then has expectations she can't meet on her own, is probably a gold digger. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 A woman valuing the security money brings doesn't make her a gold digger. It's a PoV thing I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 I would guess most women are looking for men with money. Who really wants to endlessly scrimp and save to bring up kids with a pauper? Who really wants to subsidise a scrounger? What differentiates the gold digger from other women is that she has little or no feelings for the man. Money is all. She may put on a very good act but deep down she is there only for the money. Some women however do enter into relationships with only good intentions, their love is real, but if she is treated poorly, and becomes disenchanted then the only thing she may then be staying for is the money... Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 1 hour ago, Fletch Lives said: - and you go on reasonably priced dates in the beginning, and no gifts. True love is not about the money, it's about the right company 😉 And if you go to another country looking for a mail-order bride.......tell her you love her and are ready to move in with her and her 7 brothers and sisters in their one-room shack! Watch her reaction.....if she smiles and hugs you, marry her! But if she goes into shock, you better hop back on the boat and go home with your tail between your legs! 😄 Excellent advice.... I did this when dating in the FSU and ran into, yup, gold diggers but the best prospect was very clear she didn't want to leave because she had an adult daughter and a granddaughter and her teenage daughter had her friends, she had her apartment free and clear and a relatively good job as a doctor at the local hospital. Knowing what I know now, that was nearly 30 years ago, I'd have stayed in Russia. The people I met there over time may have been poor monetarily but they were proud and quite rich in other ways. The gold diggers were mostly young and 'models' as Halyna, one lady I dated from West Ukraine used to sneer. She was quite independent and the only lady I met who had her own car and could travel widely, including the US, which she did later to visit us. Offer to pay, nyet, nyet, so I learned to keep my mouth shut and just do it. I discovered an interesting balance of the ladies despising 'greediness' and yet rewarding frugality. Halyna would lay out quite a spread at her place when guests came over. Most were young, college age, she was 29. One commonality? We'd be partying and drinking (FSU folks can put it away!) and money and stuff rarely came up. Hot topic was post-communism and international politics, followed by science of all things. I'd heard all about mail-order brides because it really was mail order back then as the internet was a relatively new thing commercially and largely didn't exist for everyday people in the FSU but for one or two gold digger saves by my driver, I was chagrined to admit the people weren't nearly the stereotype I'd read of and imagined. Quite eye-opening. I definitely get that women don't like worrying paycheck to paycheck and wondering where next week's groceries are coming from, that makes perfect sense. I don't like that either and, yup, I've been both comfortable and poor. There's desiring security and then there's greed, using other people through manipulation and often lies and deception. I've yet to meet a human who isn't capable of the latter. Whether it rules them or not is individual. We're all different. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 I don't agree with most of these answers. A gold digger is after a lot more than a free happy meal or a ride in your half decent car. Seriously, if you're a guy who's worried about women trying to take your stuff, you need to offer a lot better stuff than a ford focus and a pulse. That would be a pretty low bar for a gold digger. Where do you guys work? In my last position, the CEO of the company was a woman and so was the person I reported to directly. This was not "weird," it was normal. Also my last longterm gf has a Tesla; it's gorgeous. I did not own a car at the time. It never occurred to me that she probably thought I was after her lucre. Yikes. On a serious note: A person who seeks financial security as part of a relationship does not equal "gold digger." There are many, traditionally men, who are proud and comfortable in offering that and those who honestly give very much in other ways when that security is provided. Nobody is screwing anyone else over in those scenarios. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 I wont say this is true of all women, but I have been around long enough to have witnessed the fact that a lot of women enter relationships with the philosophy that "what's his is ours and what's mine is mine"....They'll also expect that there are certain things that a guy is expected to pay for no matter the conditions...its not always equal.. These things are prone to change over time, but I still think these old habits/ways don't die so easily....And having witnessed some really inequitable divorce judgments in my day, its not as if women are really fighting for equality or "fairness" all the time here...I think some women also hold on to this notion that offering sex(even in the context of a committed relationship), means they deserve all the spoils in return.. They still view it as somehow "transactional"... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 Would agree with NuevoYorko. For me gold digger is someone just after my money...which would normally entail getting married soon to get a cut...who also would be the traditional materialistic high maintenance person, jewelry, fancy dinners, trips, etc. and a transactional vibe...that you need to pay to play with her. I hate to say a lot of the behavior can be masked by appeals to traditional values and a appeals to natural gender roles. Lucky for me have a lot of female relatives who are of the traditional value type so know the behavior of the true and genuine ones. The good gold diggers I imagine it is never really detected, and in a way gold may be just turns them on. The more mercenary ones are going to look for that guy with more money than sense or confidence in the dating sphere. "..My sister got lucky, married a yuppie; Took him for all he was worth..." as they say. Last, for me gold digging is just at the extreme (or maybe not too extreme) end of a materialistic value system, a system that implies or outright says the more you have the better person you must be, that places things money can buy (I include the new flavor of that called vacations, i mean "experiences") at the top as a way to be happy, and idolizes status and fame. I'm more of the mind that wealth is more an indication of bad character...eye of the needle and all that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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