alphamale Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 have you guys seen the wife (ex wife by now) of the King of Dubai? I'm mean, he is one ugly dude...and she is just gorgeous. I think they are fighting over the kids now. Link to post Share on other sites
Kitty Tantrum Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 43 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: I don't agree with most of these answers. A gold digger is after a lot more than a free happy meal or a ride in your half decent car. Seriously, if you're a guy who's worried about women trying to take your stuff, you need to offer a lot better stuff than a ford focus and a pulse. That would be a pretty low bar for a gold digger. A think a lot of people conflate "narcissist" with "gold digger." There's a pretty big functional difference. A gold digger is sniffing around for a man with plenty of material resources; enough that even a relatively small portion is a considerable windfall to her. A small effort yields a large return. A NARCISSIST doesn't only look at your material assets/wealth, and isn't necessarily thinking in terms of "get in, get the money, get out." A narcissist might look at a relatively "poor" person, and see an easily exploitable set of non-monetary resources and characteristics. They're willing to play a longer game and are more adept at LONG-TERM manipulation. They don't necessarily care if you don't have WEALTH, per se - as long as they think they can turn you into their own personal meal ticket SOMEHOW. 52 minutes ago, NuevoYorko said: On a serious note: A person who seeks financial security as part of a relationship does not equal "gold digger." There are many, traditionally men, who are proud and comfortable in offering that and those who honestly give very much in other ways when that security is provided. Nobody is screwing anyone else over in those scenarios. And the way you can tell the difference is that the gold digger and the narcissist will both chronically and reliably find ways to get out of "giving back." There's always some "reason" why they can't work as hard at their own set of responsibilities as they expect you to work at yours. There's always some "reason" why you're expected to pick up their slack IN ADDITION TO providing for them financially and diligently minding your own duties. The guy with the Ford Focus and a pulse might not be a target for a legitimate gold-digger, but he can get hit just as hard (or harder, because he ends up sapped for a whole lot more than money) by a woman who knows how to take advantage of his work ethic and affections to secure a long-term source of supply. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 (edited) 38 minutes ago, alphamale said: have you guys seen the wife (ex wife by now) of the King of Dubai? I'm mean, he is one ugly dude...and she is just gorgeous. I think they are fighting over the kids now. This type of arrangement is TIMELESS. He's in it for one thing and she's in it for something totally different. It will always be in the equation for some. Edited March 7, 2020 by simpycurious Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 It used to be easy to tell on Match when they had income fields. Gold-diggers had a stated income that was significantly lower than the required income of a potential partner (example: A person making <$35,000 requiring their potential partners to make >$100,000). From my understanding, this functionality has been removed. Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyM Posted March 7, 2020 Share Posted March 7, 2020 I don't agree with these answers because they are too obvious. Women are often very materialistic, depending on their age. I was ALWAYS asked about where I live and the neighborhood, whether I rent or own. If you own and live in a very nice affluent area, that's a sign she cares about your money but it doesn't mean she is a gold digger. Gold digging is much more, and unless you are quite rich or upper middle class, it should not be a worry. Wait til she asks about your stock portfolio and wealth. If you rent, you can lie and say you own. Don't tell her you live at home with your mother. 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 7 hours ago, SumGuy said: I'm more of the mind that wealth is more an indication of bad character... And so often it is! But yes, a follower of Jesus should be giving their wealth away to the poor. What is your concern with gold-diggers about @Metsgal? Link to post Share on other sites
NuevoYorko Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 8 hours ago, simpycurious said: This type of arrangement is TIMELESS. He's in it for one thing and she's in it for something totally different. It will always be in the equation for some. Right. In a successful transactional relationship, both (or all) parties are getting what they want. So if we see an ugly fat man walking around with a bombshell dripping in diamonds on his arm, he's not necessarily getting taken for a ride. He may well be getting exactly what he wanted out of the deal. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Maybe her profession is a good indicator? like if she is a geek, what's the chance she will want to be a gold digger? if she is a playmate, etc... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 1 hour ago, Ellener said: And so often it is! But yes, a follower of Jesus should be giving their wealth away to the poor. What is your concern with gold-diggers about @Metsgal? I think that's quite a stretch. Just because you have money does not mean you are a bad person or not into helping others. Be careful to judge 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 It is hard to explain but once you develop a sixth sense about it you can spot a woman who views men as walking wallets or only in terms of what he can do for her. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 I think gold diggers make their agenda blindingly obvious. Some men choose to ignore the obvious for a number of reasons, and some men simply accept it and even desire it. Donald Trump, for example, knows the deal with Melania and has all along, I'm pretty sure. He pays, she plays. Some wealthy men - non-wealthy men as well - are practically begging to be used by desirable women. To me it's distasteful, but I'm sure there are women who seek it out. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: I think gold diggers make their agenda blindingly obvious. Some men choose to ignore the obvious for a number of reasons, and some men simply accept it and even desire it. Donald Trump, for example, knows the deal with Melania and has all along, I'm pretty sure. He pays, she plays. Some wealthy men - non-wealthy men as well - are practically begging to be used by desirable women. To me it's distasteful, but I'm sure there are women who seek it out. Yep. There’s a pretty big culture for it. I’ve run into more than a few guys who’ve basically said they would like to be used for their money. I think it gives them a sense of power and manliness or something weird like that Edited March 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix typo 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingWaterPlease Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Cookiesandough said: Yep. There’s a pretty big culture for it. I’ve run into more than a few guys who’ve basically said they would like to be used for their money. I think it gives them a sense of power and manliness or something weird like that Maybe. And maybe they just want to have access to a woman they wouldn't think they could have access to otherwise. You say you've run. Not all women do so, so they could have been just testing you out to see if you were one of those. Edited March 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Fix quote 1 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) 14 hours ago, LuckyM said: Gold digging is much more, and unless you are quite rich or upper middle class, it should not be a worry. This. I never understand why men who aren't millionaires (or have a huge amount of assets) worry so much about 'gold diggers'. Those who really can afford to be gold digger targets have years of training to be able to spot them + their concern isn't to lose money, it's to not be liked for who they are as people. Men who worry about gold diggers to the point of obsession actually worry about being used. If a guy is overly concerned with financial considerations, it's a sign of insecurity (bad experience), imo, or projection. Btw, it's fine to tell a man you like his car! Edited March 8, 2020 by littleblackheart 4 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 I think that most gold diggers are pretty easy to spot: She offers youth and beauty. And in turn, he offers wealth and will hopefully die much sooner than she will. Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) If it's a mutually agreed arrangement, not sure the label applies. There are gold diggers of any age whose sole aim is to fleece the guy. It happens to attractive young men too (plenty of such stories with sportsmen or artists) Edited March 8, 2020 by littleblackheart 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 16 hours ago, LuckyM said: Don't tell her you live at home with your mother. Fine if you live in a mansion, you are the only child and your Mom is pretty old... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) 8 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: I think gold diggers make their agenda blindingly obvious. Some men choose to ignore the obvious for a number of reasons, and some men simply accept it and even desire it. Donald Trump, for example, knows the deal with Melania and has all along, I'm pretty sure. He pays, she plays. Some misconceptions are being made.... I know its easy to assume that if an attractive woman is with an older and relatively unattractive man that its only about money...In many cases it is, but you cant discount the fact that to women, powerful men are a strong aphrodisiac....Many of these men are smart enough to go into these deals with prenups, which severely hampers that woman's availability to the man's true wealth or possessions... There are several examples in my own life that follow this trend...One of my closer friends is a powerful attorney with notable local fame...To be honest, he can be a dick at times and isn't horrible looking, but not anything to get any woman too excited just purely from a physical standpoint.. His wife is half his age and quite attractive...She signed a prenup, and actually cant really be in it too much for the money or lifestyle as he lives way below his means...He does travel a lot, but lives in a humble home and drives a late model Honda...From all outward appearances anyway, she is drawn to his power and alpha tendencies...She's well educated and her family even has a fair amount of wealth as well, so its not like he picked her up from the local Denny's one day while having breakfast... I had an uncle who was in the same category...Only in his case, he was a life long player, a small bit actor, always broke, etc.,...Every one of the women he was with were very attractive and much younger....In most cases, he was the one that got rid of them, instead of the other way around.. They couldn't have been with him for his money, he had none , always lived in dumpy apartments, etc.....But he had "it".....and that was all that was needed... We don't really know the case with Pres and first lady, but its kind of unfair to assume its only about money....Remember that woman that came forward during the lection that claimed he fondled her on an airplane? She said she was actually ok with it as long as it was limited to breasts...I mean did she think he was going to cut her a check on the way off the plane? Nope...But a regular Joe isn't going to be able to do that... Many dislike him, but he's a charismatic enough of a guy that I could easily see many women drawn to just that alone.. TFY Edited March 8, 2020 by thefooloftheyear 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Sure, not all women with wealthier men are with them for the money. My boyfriend has a much higher salary and way more assets than I do, and while it's impressive he's accomplished all that on his own, it would never be a primary motivator for me. As for Melania, come on. It's extremely obvious she's a textbook gold-digger and Donald is pretty much fine with that. He was the biggest, best deal she could find. I'm sure they have their points of compatibility, but her prime motivator is obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Its not always the women who are the golddiggers, I have a few fareweather or fly by night friends/acquaintances I suppose, there is a perception among them that I am well off or that I have money. Im not especially well off really but have a few assets, the irony is that a lot of these friends warn me that my girlfriend is after my possible assets, I dont think she is actually, she is too independent for that, but the friends who warn me against her are the very ones who would take things off me and are hoping that I remain single in the hope they could get something off me in the future, Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 Clearly Julia Roberts was after Lyle Lovett's money, same with Paulina Porizkova and Ric Ocasek, so much so she kept checking on him even after they divorced apparently until he was dead. Gold-diggers. 👍 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 And yes, we're seeing a lot more male gold diggers these days, with women earning and acquiring more. Simply becoming a home owner made me more of a target for deadbeat men. Different tactics, same game. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) $25k? Sounds like a copper-digger. In all seriousness I think that if someone was with you solely for money (which is the definition of "gold-digger"), it would be so blatantly obvious that you'd need to be incredibly blind and naive to not realize it - and naive people are rarely self-made millionaires to begin with. In most cases IMO the rich person knows that their partner is with them solely for the money, they just don't care because they're in it solely for something equally superficial (usually a very much younger partner). And really, if your most valuable asset is worth $25k, you are almost certainly safe. Very few people in developed countries would value themselves so poorly that they would trade their lives and their potential of finding a partner that they are actually attracted to, for $25k. Edited March 8, 2020 by Elswyth 4 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 3 minutes ago, Elswyth said: And really, if your most valuable asset is worth $25k, you are almost certainly safe. Very few people in developed countries would value themselves so poorly that they would trade their lives and their potential of finding a partner that they are actually attracted to, for $25k. It is however all relative. If the woman is dirt poor, no education, big debt, living hand to mouth, then a $25K car is a huge asset. A woman may indeed trade her life for what she perceives as something better. Link to post Share on other sites
sothereiwas Posted March 8, 2020 Share Posted March 8, 2020 (edited) Women are sex objects, men are success objects. The above is a severe trivialization of a very profound truth, but it's easy to remember. Money is useful but it's also how we keep score in most societies, or at least one way we do so. Prowess in men is attractive, based on my observations. Edited March 8, 2020 by sothereiwas 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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