abuse

[Pumaza]

mental and emotional abuse, how does it looks like?

and how do you know its going on?

any one of you been true it and onow few signs?

 

[carhill]

It varies by relationship, forex behaviors which may be tolerated or accepted by adults can be quite abusive and damaging to the developing psyches of children.

I was lucky I guess, FOO was loving and supportive and my parents were married for life. That's likely why I noticed, not right away but over time, the ignoral and abandonment in our M. The blank stares, the disinterest, the 'whatever'. IDK if 'freezing out' one's spouse is the right term but it felt like it.  There were some little bedroom digs too like comparing old boyfriend's penis sizes, 'I wish it was a bit bigger', 'did you come yet?' etc. Souring the milk. My spouse related more obvious abuse when young in her FOO, including being raped, so perhaps she knew the tools better, IDK. I never learned that stuff. In any event, adult males are socialized to accept pain and injury without complaint so that's mostly what I did. Anything else was seen as weakness or 'gotcha'. Classic phrase these days is 'touched a nerve?' BS. The refrain of the manipulator.

[Miss Clavel]

that's sad. true. and familiar. 

other signs, since you asked. which i observed in my sisters marriage, early on were: chipping away at her freedom. to come and go. not so much who she saw but where she went(night classes) and when would she be back?.

my antennae went up. so to speak. just like it did when my ex tried to move me to bumfck, way back. talked about, living in the country. only i would have no one out there and no car. nope.

anyway, it turns out my bil is  a wonderful father and he's just a safety freak. being in the army and all. he doesn't like his loved ones unaccounted for.

so, do some research. call a hot line. call them all. can't hurt.