I put soap in my wife's wine bottle . to teach her not to drink.

[Pumaza]

this is sick and abusive.

you are not her dad to ""teach her a lesson"".and sure not this way.

soap could have kill her.you dont know the reaction of it.

this looks like a toxic relationship with many serious issues.you both need therapy. people often dont drink often for no reason. she probally struggling with deeper issues. goodluck.

[Pumaza]

5 hours ago, willzbegone said:

I will not prescribe her anything. I don’t want to end up liable for anything. 
 

she had anxiety meds that she was prescribed and didn’t take but I dumped them to make sure she didn’t drink and do that and end up dead. 
 

she was angry i took her anxiety rx because she said that was the root of her drinking. I told her I am just protecting her....

 

 

Ofcorse we dont know whole story or whats gos on in your home daily.

But You sound very ""self rightious"'''🤨👀,no emphaty, and annoyed.

Nothing that would or could help her.

If you are a doctor people hoop you have some level of emphaty.

What kind of doctor you are.?

You trying to attack her and her drinking and ponish her,instead of trying some kind of loving approuch.

She have anxiety,maybe cause of childhood issues, so to survive the days and life she drinks to calm down.

You only see her and the bottle.And hard handle her.

If you care and love her,why not communicate on a loving way,and tell her to go talk to a therapist,offer to go with her first time. Encourage,support your wife.

A therapist can help her get to the root of her anxiety. Which lead her to drink.And get in therapy you to.

Live is not always simple as stop drinking,do this ,do that, specially if its something deeper.

 

[elaine567]

7 hours ago, willzbegone said:

yes she blames me for her drinking. She says that if I was not so angry or controlling that she would not drink

 

7 hours ago, willzbegone said:

She doesn’t do any drugs at all and the anxiety meds I should point out were for her anxiety but instead of taking them...she drank wine. 

She is self medicating with the wine and as you dumped her anxiety meds she has no option but to drink to quell her anxiety.
Many women in unhappy marriages will turn to alcohol.
Your high handed and cruel approach is just making things worse.
Time to seek professional help for both of you, or just walk away if you don't want to pay for rehab. .
Poisoning your wife and making fun of her anxiety is just appalling behaviour.

[amaysngrace]

Divorce her if her drinking bothers you that much.  And when it comes up in court that you did this deny everything. 

 

[schlumpy]

What is it about her drinking that bothers you? Are you concerned for safety or is it her health? Is she a nasty drunk? Is wine making her shirk her share of the responsibilities in the marriage? Is she what is referred to as a "functioning alcoholic?"

I sympathize with your position. I tried for many years to get my mother to quit drinking - all for naught. She almost lost her life to cirrhosis and still wouldn't quit. Towards the end of her life (she died at 56) she had stopped drinking hard liquor but was taking Percocet instead. Sometimes the best an addict can accomplish is to switch to a less harmful drug.

Consider if her malady wasn't chemical but mental. What if she was a hoarder? How would you handle that? 

I don't envy your limited choices here. Listening to the testimony of people who have walked the same path she is on may turn her around, so AA may be your best choice. Switching her chemical dependency to a less harmful drug might work as it did in my mother's case. As a physician you are on the inside and should a better understanding of the resources and treatments available that myself.

She is not just another problem to solve. It is possible that her problem is you. Perhaps she is right and you are causing her to drink. There is a reason she wants to escape. Make an effort in good conscience to discover what it is.

In my humble opinion your wife's problem falls under your wedding vows. You could walk away but unless you make a reasonable effort to help her you will think about this the rest of your life. If you wouldn't think about it, then I would question the quality of your own conscience. 

 

[Ellener]

1 hour ago, schlumpy said:

In my humble opinion your wife's problem falls under your wedding vows. You could walk away but unless you make a reasonable effort to help her you will think about this the rest of your life. If you wouldn't think about it, then I would question the quality of your own conscience. 

But don't mistake conscience for controlling: physician heal thyself...

Edited March 8, 2020 by Ellener
wording

[d0nnivain]

13 hours ago, willzbegone said:

I am a doctor. I know the amount I put in her wine will not kill her. And I hardly doubt a cop is going to have a problem for me trying to help her stop drinking.  She has a problem. She needs to learn. 

I have a hard time believing you are a doctor.  Go back to the Hippocratic oath.  First do NO harm.  It doesn't say a little harm like making her sick is OK.  It says NO harm.  So you violated the rules of your own profession. 

Second, you should also know that you can't force your patients to follow a course of treatment.  Individuals are allowed to follow their doctors advice or reject it, even if their course is unwise.  You can not force a course of treatment on a person.  Similarly you have no right to force your wife to quit drinking.  All you can do is ask & deal with your issues by doing something like going to Al-Anon. 

You know -- or should know -- that if you give medical care to a patient against the patient's will, you have committed the CRIME of assault.  So if you can't force treatment on someone who came to you in your professional capacity seeking your advice, where do you get off poisoning your wife "for her own good"?  The arrogance is astounding.  

When I 1st read your post, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.  Now I don't think you did what you did out of compassion.  You did what you did because you refuse to allow your wife to make her own choices.  Yes it sucks when somebody you love makes bad / dangerous choices but that doesn't mean you get to substitute your judgment for theirs.   

This whole thing reminds me of the old joke.   HIM:  if you were my wife I'd poison you.  HER: If you were my husband, I'd take it.  

Edited March 8, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[Ellener]

54 minutes ago, d0nnivain said:

HIM:  if you were my wife I'd poison you.  HER: If you were my husband, I'd take it.  

🤣

[Happy Lemming]

11 hours ago, S2B said:

 I’m 12 years sober.

A little off topic, but Congrats!! 

12 Years... Great Job!!

[Redhead14]

He might very well be a good doctor but he's not a good partner and not so good a person.  While it's not his fault that she is drinking because that's all on her, but I can't say that I blame her either.  He can't make her stop.  She has to want to stop and do it for herself first.  If I were her, I'd have been out the door when he put anything in my drink.  The relationship has become toxic in more ways than one.  If he's willing to put soap in her drink, what's next????  I wouldn't trust him anymore, that's for sure.  This is not how you treat someone you love.  There are other ways to approach this with her that are more constructive and loving.  If she's resistant, it's because it's past all that now. 

[Els]

So... you're clearly a controlling piece of cow turd who somehow thinks that putting soap in an alcoholic's bottle is a better idea than "paying for rehab" or just, y'know, letting them take their prescribed medications instead of throwing them away.

She doesn't need wine or soap - she needs a divorce lawyer. And then hopefully some rehab.