Author Realitysux Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 9 hours ago, Ronni_W said: The problem here is that if you refuse to listen to your 'Higher Self' or Intuitive inner Voice when it tells you to NOT do something, and you just ignore your own inner impulses and go ahead anyway, then you will not get any wiser or 'better' counsel or advice from any person outside of yourself that you will listen to, either. The good/best/constructive choices that you will need to make for yourself are not necessarily going to feel easy -- we make a mistake when we want or expect everything to be easy or to come without having to sacrifice something else that we value or think that we value -- but you still do have the power and authority to make those difficult decisions...and you also do have the inner strength and courage to just listen to yourself when You are telling you to just NOT do something. If that makes sense? Wow! That was insightful. It's like I am ignoring my inner voice. I really do need to make choices that ultimately make me feel better. I appreciate it Ronnie! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 I think i can walk myself out of the depression. I know what will make me feel better and what I am lacking is the patience because I want it now. like right now! but its not going to happen over night. I woke up and when you are training, exercising, eating (very important for the metabolism), then you will loose weight. I did nothing all day yesterday and I ate more sausages and more potatoes and I still woke up skinnier. That's because metabolism is doing it's job. I am also noticing a difference in my face so i actually felt a ton of confidence. I may not have much today but I have the tools to get them. I am here at a local computer and I am redoing my resume and applying for jobs. I am then going to go home and eat lunch and then head to the gym to work some more. After I am done at the gym, i am going to come home and start organizing all my stuff then move on to the rest of the house. I will be feeling so much better after i do all of that. I am also immediately, instantly letting go of my self sabotaging behavior and I forgive myself for letting go what I let go instead of taking better care of all of it. I learned a lot and once I get myself in shape, I will be a better person and more deserving of blessings from God. I think God knows that too. I think he knows if he gave me anything that I would not be able to bless others or keep it. I am going to re read this and feel like an idiot but I also think it might help someone else if I share my experience with how I am going to beat the depression. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 (edited) I did get a job and I start tomorrow .. I'm making decent money. When they asked me what wage I want, I actually said 18 an hour because I needed the job. He text me shortly after and gave me more an hour. I went to the gym too. I am waiting to find out where I'm going tomorrow then I'm off to buy boots and attend a credit counseling session. I'm going to stop posting on this forum but I'll check back in every so often and focus on work, my house, my life and the gym! Edited March 10, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 10, 2020 Author Share Posted March 10, 2020 Okay so this guy may have been involved and he rejected me. I'm sitting here with a bit of anxiety wondering what I did or said but at the same time, I told him how much this s*** affected me so anything they do to me moving forward is on them. I'm moving on! Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 Good luck with the job @Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 11, 2020 Author Share Posted March 11, 2020 40 minutes ago, Ellener said: Good luck with the job @Realitysux Thanks. I'm still having trouble sleeping though so I'm going to be tired in the morning .. I think the new job will do me some good. I go to the pharmacist, pick up my meds and then throw them in the garbage and today my pharmacist said I need to get more sleep but other then that they think I'm doing much better. I don't think everyone should not take their meds. We aren't easy to be around off them but I'm choosing to fight this without them. Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted March 11, 2020 Share Posted March 11, 2020 1 hour ago, Realitysux said: We aren't easy to be around off them but I'm choosing to fight this without them. I didn't see that you are on meds, are you sure it's something you can just stop taking, not need to taper off? Talk to your doctor about it at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 11, 2020 Author Share Posted March 11, 2020 5 hours ago, Ellener said: I didn't see that you are on meds, are you sure it's something you can just stop taking, not need to taper off? Talk to your doctor about it at l I've never consistently been on them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 11, 2020 Author Share Posted March 11, 2020 Thanks ! I am more so writing so I can get it out and maybe get some feedback too! I also couldn't fit into my favorite pair of jeans a few months ago but I am wearing them today 🌝 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Realitysux Posted March 12, 2020 Author Share Posted March 12, 2020 (edited) So here I am and yet another post! I decided tomorrow to go to work and then the gym and then home. On Friday I am going to work and gym and home. Saturday , I m cleaning my house then out for lunch with my friend who is in town this weekend, and then the gym. Sunday is church, laundry and the gym! Not a bad start I would say. That's what's going to make me feel good as oppose to being hacked, and mocked, and ditched and by tons of people to having people connect with me, supportive (prob fake). The past 7 years is why I'm so depressed .. I am in recovery mode! And on the 23rd, I have a dance lesson booked. This guy I had a date planned with , hasn't text me so if he does, I'm going to say, you didn't text me so I didn't think you were interested and I went to work instead .. then I'll just ignore him but if he doesn't text me then I'll be like Jose was right and I'll feel pretty s***ty but I'm moving on. Edited March 12, 2020 by Realitysux Link to post Share on other sites
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