My update

[Deepremorse5]

The last time I posted in this forum was almost one year back. I missed writing here. It was cathartic, so I am restarting with an update. 

Almost a year back, I got off all social media and tried to focus on my personal growth. I had no idea what my ex-H was upto. Around July last year, my ex-FIL called my father and told about the condition of my ex-MIL. She was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer. My in-laws moved to US for treatment. Mid-December they returned to India. I got a call from my husband on 15th December morning, he spoke about MIL and told that if I wanted to visit sometime I was welcome. The same day I visited them. I won't lie, it felt good to be back there with them. I stayed there the whole day and spent time with my in-laws. My ex-H was not there for most part of the day, he returned in the evening hours. He said he will drop me. We had dinner together and left for my place. During the ride, he told that he has moved back to India permanently. He wants to take care of MIL. We had some chit-chat here and there. He did ask me how I was doing and congratulated me on how I am managing the business (nothing extraordinary, I have managed to keep the business steady). While dropping off he did ask me to come over to their place whenever I felt I need to. I told him I wished I could come over everyday but I had work commitment. He just smiled and I went upstairs. During the ride, he told me everything that had happened with my MIL in last few months. Asked me to keep their spirits up whenever I visit them. 

I was busy with my schedule for next few days. During the weekend I wanted to visit my MIL but didn't want to impose myself on them. I called my husband and asked if he was ok with me coming over and spending time with MIL. He said I need not ask and just to come over whenever I felt the need to visit her. It's been more than 3 months now, I have been visiting them frequently. As for my MIL, she is recovering  but still it's a long fight ahead. I am offering prayers everyday for her recovery. 

Why I am writing today?? Well today we had a festival called Holi. Since it was an off day, I went to in-laws. My husband was there. I was sitting near my MIL talking about something. Suddenly my husband came, he held my hand and led me into the kitchen. He has prepared a dish and he wanted me to taste it first. I enjoyed every moment of it. Throughout the day he was more friendlier than before. Even though I take my car every weekend to their place, he always used to send it back and drop me home every weekend. Today also he dropped me back. I had never asked anything about him or about us in last few months.  During the ride, for the first time he spoke about his relationship.I mean as the part of his whole NY thing. How was his life there and other stuffs. While dropping off he said he has a matter to discuss with me and he will do sometime this month. I have absolutely no idea what he wants to discuss. Now I have these random thoughts regarding what he wants to discuss. 

[Dimjo9]

16 minutes ago, Deepremorse5 said:

The last time I posted in this forum was almost one year back. I missed writing here. It was cathartic, so I am restarting with an update. 

Almost a year back, I got off all social media and tried to focus on my personal growth. I had no idea what my ex-H was upto. Around July last year, my ex-FIL called my father and told about the condition of my ex-MIL. She was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer. My in-laws moved to US for treatment. Mid-December they returned to India. I got a call from my husband on 15th December morning, he spoke about MIL and told that if I wanted to visit sometime I was welcome. The same day I visited them. I won't lie, it felt good to be back there with them. I stayed there the whole day and spent time with my in-laws. My ex-H was not there for most part of the day, he returned in the evening hours. He said he will drop me. We had dinner together and left for my place. During the ride, he told that he has moved back to India permanently. He wants to take care of MIL. We had some chit-chat here and there. He did ask me how I was doing and congratulated me on how I am managing the business (nothing extraordinary, I have managed to keep the business steady). While dropping off he did ask me to come over to their place whenever I felt I need to. I told him I wished I could come over everyday but I had work commitment. He just smiled and I went upstairs. During the ride, he told me everything that had happened with my MIL in last few months. Asked me to keep their spirits up whenever I visit them. 

I was busy with my schedule for next few days. During the weekend I wanted to visit my MIL but didn't want to impose myself on them. I called my husband and asked if he was ok with me coming over and spending time with MIL. He said I need not ask and just to come over whenever I felt the need to visit her. It's been more than 3 months now, I have been visiting them frequently. As for my MIL, she is recovering  but still it's a long fight ahead. I am offering prayers everyday for her recovery. 

Why I am writing today?? Well today we had a festival called Holi. Since it was an off day, I went to in-laws. My husband was there. I was sitting near my MIL talking about something. Suddenly my husband came, he held my hand and led me into the kitchen. He has prepared a dish and he wanted me to taste it first. I enjoyed every moment of it. Throughout the day he was more friendlier than before. Even though I take my car every weekend to their place, he always used to send it back and drop me home every weekend. Today also he dropped me back. I had never asked anything about him or about us in last few months.  During the ride, for the first time he spoke about his relationship.I mean as the part of his whole NY thing. How was his life there and other stuffs. While dropping off he said he has a matter to discuss with me and he will do sometime this month. I have absolutely no idea what he wants to discuss. Now I have these random thoughts regarding what he wants to discuss. 

Hi Deepremorse,

I read all of your thread & waited for u to send update.

You changed for the best & reformed.. i will help u gain back your H ( now he’s back in India & your timeline is same, SLEEP will be a factor for the CHANT/MANTRA to work)

All fighting arts originated from India.  The oldest of them is KALARIPAYATTU-“mother of all the arts”.. Your H must have been trained in his youth or studied a part of it..

As practitioner the sense of smell is develop like a wolf.. In the past when u did it he already knew.. When he got hurt a toxin in his body that was dormant got released.. this is in layman’s term Love Hormone..

The lady he met in NYC is following him to India this is my bet.. for now try to sleep beside him (not necessarily intimacy) & inhale his breath.. this will draw him closer to you..

Love for u is kept in his heart.. u have to release this again.. I love your country since my youth i studied different fighting arts.. i learn also kama sutra as part of Kalaripayattu training..

If he will open up about the lady try asking him if he smells a particular scent ( this is for him only).. In my culture it is a belief that if we commit infidelity we are setting our spouse to meet “the one”-soul mate..

Please reach my line always open..

 

[Dimjo9]

6 hours ago, Deepremorse5 said:

She was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Cancer

FUDA Cancer Hospital•Jinan University For your MiL google this particular hospital. They specialized in cancer treatments & the success / survival rate is very high. Now's the time to show them your true kindness. Slow down on your job at the company & spent time with her. If they will seek treatment in Fuda Hospital accompany them, by being with her u can have quality time with your husband. ( he will see your true color in times of need )

Try to sleep beside him & inhale his breath (not necessary intimacy ).. By staying in India your H showed what a man he is.. Respectful to his parents which is a rare trait nowadays. If no intimacy is initiated he's very faithful to the lady he met in NYC & things are going serious. Just wait for his talk with you.. If she will ask for your permission & blessings this is what we called "highest courtesy" .. This will bring them tremendous luck & he will be proposing soon.. 

His parents & discipline master taught him well.. Hope springs eternal fight for him he's still single !!

[usa1ah]

DM5 I really hope the best for you. You have proven yourself to be truly remorseful for your actions. I hope all the work you have done pays off for you in the end. Best wishes. 

Edited March 12, 2020 by usa1ah

[scotchnstout]

Honestly I'm not one to support reconciliation with WS but I genuinely hope you receive some positive news on that front, best wishes.

[Deepremorse5]

Thanks for the encouraging words @usa1ah and @scotchnstout. I am not building any kind of expectation now. Whatever happens will be a win for me.

I have nothing to update. Mumbai is in a state of crisis where the virus situation might go to community transmission phase. So, I haven't gone out of home much since last week. I did speak with my husband few times to check on my MIL. She is recovering well. 

Everyone please stay safe. 

[scotchnstout]

You too DR5, stay safe.

[Dimjo9]

2 hours ago, Deepremorse5 said:

Thanks for the encouraging words @usa1ah and @scotchnstout. I am not building any kind of expectation now. Whatever happens will be a win for me.

I have nothing to update. Mumbai is in a state of crisis where the virus situation might go to community transmission phase. So, I haven't gone out of home much since last week. I did speak with my husband few times to check on my MIL. She is recovering well. 

Everyone please stay safe. 

Friend, 

Load on immune boosting vitamins & have adequate sleep.. Social distance of at least 2M & always wash your hands ( 20secs or sing happy birthday 2x )..

Avoid touching your face, eyes or mouth & sneeze/cough on your elbows.. if using a tissue immediately dispose of it..

If u can exercise at home ( 30mins ).. veggies, fruits..

Most important if your H is alone be with him whether he likes it or not.. Now is the time !!

[Just a Guy]

Hi DeepRemorse, good to see you back after quite a hiatus. I am also happy to see that you seem to have come to terms with your situation and have regained your emotional stability after the horrendous roller coaster you put yourself through by your immature actions at the time of your betrayal of your husband and in the period immediately following that. Apparently you have come of age, matured and become a responsible woman both at a professional level and also at a personal level.

It is sad that it had to be a traumatic event such as the critical illness of your former mother in law to have brought your husband back into contact with you. It is gratifying that he took the initiative to contact you and for once you were not pursuing him, but whatever it is, fate sometimes works in strange ways. The positive thing about this reconnect is that both of you are starting off on a clean slate and if it culminates in a remarriage between you two, then maybe the Almighty was testing both of you before getting you two back together. In any case I think both of you have grown and matured as human beings and your union, if it happens will be a very successful one henceforth. My best wishes to both of you and I sincerely hope your former Mother in law is able to recover her health at the earliest. Warm wishes

[Deepremorse5]

On 3/22/2020 at 2:03 PM, Just a Guy said:

Hi DeepRemorse, good to see you back after quite a hiatus. I am also happy to see that you seem to have come to terms with your situation and have regained your emotional stability after the horrendous roller coaster you put yourself through by your immature actions at the time of your betrayal of your husband and in the period immediately following that. Apparently you have come of age, matured and become a responsible woman both at a professional level and also at a personal level.

It is sad that it had to be a traumatic event such as the critical illness of your former mother in law to have brought your husband back into contact with you. It is gratifying that he took the initiative to contact you and for once you were not pursuing him, but whatever it is, fate sometimes works in strange ways. The positive thing about this reconnect is that both of you are starting off on a clean slate and if it culminates in a remarriage between you two, then maybe the Almighty was testing both of you before getting you two back together. In any case I think both of you have grown and matured as human beings and your union, if it happens will be a very successful one henceforth. My best wishes to both of you and I sincerely hope your former Mother in law is able to recover her health at the earliest. Warm wishes

I have no expectations. Praying for recovery of my MIL at the earliest. She is like my mother. At this point that's what matters the most.

Wrt my husband, we spoke for almost 2 hours today. Nothing romantic, I was just trying to pick his brain. I am utilizing this corona off-time to strategize and plan for business growth post corona period. His insights are impeccable. I was bouncing off my ideas with him, and he was giving his opinion on those ideas.  The whole conversion was ego-shattering.Lol.  I thought I knew few things about business (at very primary level) now that I am managing a business unit. Turns out I am still a kindergarten kid. Lol. He might have given me some home work too. Lol. 

Forgot to mention earlier. Since moving to India in Dec last year, he has not taken up any job opportunities. He said he is taking a break. 

 

[Dimjo9]

7 minutes ago, Deepremorse5 said:

I have no expectations. Praying for recovery of my MIL at the earliest. She is like my mother. At this point that's what matters the most.

Wrt my husband, we spoke for almost 2 hours today. Nothing romantic, I was just trying to pick his brain. I am utilizing this corona off-time to strategize and plan for business growth post corona period. His insights are impeccable. I was bouncing off my ideas with him, and he was giving his opinion on those ideas.  The whole conversion was ego-shattering.Lol.  I thought I knew few things about business (at very primary level) now that I am managing a business unit. Turns out I am still a kindergarten kid. Lol. He might have given me some home work too. Lol. 

Forgot to mention earlier. Since moving to India in Dec last year, he has not taken up any job opportunities. He said he is taking a break. 

 

Hi Friend,

You have matured professionally & in this time of need please take care of your employees.. Try your very best & have adequate contingency plan.

     1. Safety 1st before productivity 

     2. Try to minimize people going to the office & face to face contact.

     3. For people in the production line at least 2M or more in distance.

     4. Wipe areas that are frequently touch with disinfectants & remind everyone to wash hands before eating; avoid touching eyes, mouth or face, sneeze or cough on elbows.

    5. If they are sick don’t report for work & home quarantine 14days ( the symptoms will show within this period if your immune system is low or have high exposure )

    6. Covid 19 is viral hence no medicine.. if have fever take paracetamol & lots of fluids.. this can help loosen the phlegm

Your H is well educated & experience businessman.. He’s taking break to take care of his Mother which is noble & respectful..

Always check on your MiL & pray for her speedy recovery.. 
 

The two of you have a good partnership, try your  best to be with him in this difficult period.. 

🌹

[Deepremorse5]

On 3/23/2020 at 11:43 PM, Dimjo9 said:

Hi Friend,

You have matured professionally & in this time of need please take care of your employees.. Try your very best & have adequate contingency plan.

     1. Safety 1st before productivity 

     2. Try to minimize people going to the office & face to face contact.

     3. For people in the production line at least 2M or more in distance.

     4. Wipe areas that are frequently touch with disinfectants & remind everyone to wash hands before eating; avoid touching eyes, mouth or face, sneeze or cough on elbows.

    5. If they are sick don’t report for work & home quarantine 14days ( the symptoms will show within this period if your immune system is low or have high exposure )

    6. Covid 19 is viral hence no medicine.. if have fever take paracetamol & lots of fluids.. this can help loosen the phlegm

Your H is well educated & experience businessman.. He’s taking break to take care of his Mother which is noble & respectful..

Always check on your MiL & pray for her speedy recovery.. 
 

The two of you have a good partnership, try your  best to be with him in this difficult period.. 

🌹

Thanks for your word of advise. We temporarily closed down our business unit.  FYI, my husband is not a businessman. 🙂

[Dimjo9]

3 hours ago, Deepremorse5 said:

Thanks for your word of advise. We temporarily closed down our business unit.  FYI, my husband is not a businessman. 🙂

Hi Friend,

I know India is under lockdown now.. Always check on your MiL & hope she’s into full recovery.

Your H might not be a businessman but he’s educated & got the skills. ( insight ).. Business is easy to learn if u have the knowledge foundation. Your Father knows this thats why he likes Him to take over..

Load on immune boosting Vitamins, always wash hands & stay from crowds .. 2M distance is good, 3M or more is the safest..

Covid 19 is viral hence no meds except a vaccine.. But we can prevent this by self isolation & keep our body’s resistance strong.     ( Hygiene will be a major factor )

Try to exercise at home using body weight or if u can secure a TRX or Resistance Bands..US Navy seals used the TRX on board submarines.  ( tight & limited space ).. 

Be with your H in this difficult times.. The comfort u can give to each other will be much needed !! 🌹

[usa1ah]

How are you DM5

[Deepremorse5]

1 hour ago, usa1ah said:

How are you DM5

I am doing good but situation here at Mumbai is grim and scary. Business is down. MIL is recovering. It's a long journey for her.

Not much to say.  Btw thanks for asking. I hope you and your family members are safe. 

[usa1ah]

We are safe. Wife and kids are doing well. We lost my wife’s parents years ago but mine are doing well. Youngest just graduated high school. 

[usa1ah]

Business is going good in are area. Only a few dozen cases in are area. We think it came threw back in November to be honest. My oldest son had all the symptoms, so did many kids in the schools in our area. 

[Deepremorse5]

On 5/31/2020 at 7:04 AM, usa1ah said:

We are safe. Wife and kids are doing well. We lost my wife’s parents years ago but mine are doing well. Youngest just graduated high school. 

 

On 5/31/2020 at 7:07 AM, usa1ah said:

Business is going good in are area. Only a few dozen cases in are area. We think it came threw back in November to be honest. My oldest son had all the symptoms, so did many kids in the schools in our area. 

Oh! Great. We have 80k cases here at Mumbai. Even though govt is allowing businesses to run with lean employee strength, I am keeping it shut as a precautionary measure till June end. Will see the situation and take a call after that. Recently started a parallel e-commerce biz line along with existing business set-up to adapt to the changing business scenario in a post shutdown + covid era. Hoping for a turnaround by July end. 

[Deepremorse5]

Today is a bad day for me. Never felt so ashamed and disgusted with myself. 

Our new business has picked-up and we are having  incremental and steady cash flow into the system. That's much before my estimation. We might break-even in  few months. My xH put most of the effort to make this happen. Today, I offered him the revenue generated in the new business for his contribution which is remarkable given the state of current economy.  He declined to accept anything. His response" If you are really thinking about that (the revenue), I will walk out."    I feel guilty as hell. Here is a man whom I wronged. Yet he is there at each step supporting me. I had everything, anyone could dream of having in their life, yet I somehow managed to ruin things. I am such a disappointment. He is not accepting my apologies, my love, my absence,  my money or my support. I want to do something for him but I don't know in what form he is willing to accept that. I am willing to do anything for him without any expectation, just to show how grateful I am. But I am really clueless. 

[JS84]

I'm confused as to what he was upset about exactly.

[mark clemson]

IIRC, she is a WS.

[Zona]

8 hours ago, Deepremorse5 said:

He is not accepting my apologies, my love, my absence,  my money or my support. I want to do something for him but I don't know in what form he is willing to accept that. I am willing to do anything for him without any expectation, just to show how grateful I am. But I am really clueless. 

The only thing you can really do is to continue to show your remorse and contrition.

[Dimjo9]

8 hours ago, Deepremorse5 said:

Today is a bad day for me. Never felt so ashamed and disgusted with myself. 

Our new business has picked-up and we are having  incremental and steady cash flow into the system. That's much before my estimation. We might break-even in  few months. My xH put most of the effort to make this happen. Today, I offered him the revenue generated in the new business for his contribution which is remarkable given the state of current economy.  He declined to accept anything. His response" If you are really thinking about that (the revenue), I will walk out."    I feel guilty as hell. Here is a man whom I wronged. Yet he is there at each step supporting me. I had everything, anyone could dream of having in their life, yet I somehow managed to ruin things. I am such a disappointment. He is not accepting my apologies, my love, my absence,  my money or my support. I want to do something for him but I don't know in what form he is willing to accept that. I am willing to do anything for him without any expectation, just to show how grateful I am. But I am really clueless. 

Sent him your best wishes for his walk on the sunset.. Fate have something lined for him. Everything u offered is already immaterial he’s about to meet “the one”.. 

[colingrant]

Been following your story from day-1 and am rooting for you. Gotta say, your x is impressive and special in my humble opinion. I think he has some underlying issues stemming from your affair that he needs to deal with, but from a principle perspective, he has them and lives by them.

He's as solid as they come. You had a Rolls Royce and may have mistaken him for a Honda Accord.  This is not to disparage Honda Accord's which are great cars, but they're not special and are  priced as such. Rolls Royce's are special and priced for the few in this world capable of affording them. 

Edited July 5, 2020 by colingrant

[Deepremorse5]

Thanks. My husband called me this morning and said that he wants to meet me in person tomorrow to talk about something. I will meet him after 4 months.  I asked him what it is about, he said I will know tomorrow.Regardless, I am so excited. I will update tomorrow.