The most disgusting thing about OLD....

[Ellener]

9 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Sometimes I hate the human race, and I wish a giant asteroid would come and vaporize the planet. 

Don't put this on your profile 

[manfrombelow2]

9 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Since I have gotten back online after a several month hiatus, it's shocking how many scams and porn sites post on them now. As if it isn't hard enough to find someone on these sites, now you have hordes of whores, porn sites, "sugar babies", couples looking for 3 ways, gang bangs, and fake profiles to wade through. Sometimes I hate the human race, and I wish a giant asteroid would come and vaporize the planet. 

 

It's quite unfair of you to "hate the human race" just because of the toxicity caused by the online dating apps. 

To me, online dating apps are pure cancer. For starters they are where people come to show off sexually and materialistically. Say if you don't have six pack abs and a Porsche in your album, your chances of scoring women are low. At the same time, you can't show off your PhD, how hard you work, how honest you are and other rather abstract qualities which ironically are essential for building relationships. To sum it up, they are crazy and unregulated markets where goods are sex and money.

You can't gain anything positive from OLD, let alone a healthy, stable and meaningful relationship.

Edited March 11, 2020 by thaygiaogiang

[Backinthesaddleagain]

3 minutes ago, thaygiaogiang said:

It's quite unfair of you to "hate the human race" just because of the toxicity caused by the online dating apps. 

To me, online dating apps are pure cancer. For starters they are where people come to show off sexually and materialistically. Say if you don't have six pack abs and a Porsche in your album, your chances of scoring women are low. At the same time, you can't show off your PhD, how hard you work, how honest you are and other rather abstract qualities. To sum it up, they are crazy and unregulated markets where goods are sex and money. 

You can't gain anything positive from OLD, let alone a healthy, stable and meaningful relationship.

It was a tongue in cheek comment, I deal with hardship by using dark humor. Thanks for your post though. 

Edited March 11, 2020 by Backinthesaddleagain

[5x5]

1 hour ago, Ellener said:

Don't put this on your profile 

Actually I'm sure that statement would go down very well,  with lots of people.

 

If I had a need for a dating profile, I'd steal it and try it for a while.

Edited March 11, 2020 by 5x5

[Fletch Lives]

 

Dark humor can be good sometimes. When someone mentions they like golf, I tell them that golf is da devil! 😄

Yes, there are lots of scammers and spammers on the dating sites (and a few good people).

The Nigerian scammers talk to you for a little while and then they say they are in Turkey taking care of their dead relative's estate and need money fast.

I talked to woman on the phone once from a dating site.......she was from out of town, but said she worked for a motel and could stay anywhere for free..... she offered to come to my area. Then she asked me for gas money......I replied, "I don't give money to strangers. Then she hung up on me!

[Zippy2000]

15 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

Yea it sucks, but it always amazes me how gullible men are when it comes to the scammers. I knew a guy who paid a woman $50 to go on a date with her...of course she didn’t. lol How is that not a red flag? They really like you, but keep dodging your suggestions to meet. Uh huh. The same dude shows me his interactions with these women and I’m just SMH and how transparent they are. The first one was a woman who looked like Sophia Vergara and she was like “I’m away on a modeling gig(common line they use), but I am looking for a man who will love me. I want to be a good wife to a man and just have him love me “ lol He’s a really average looking dude. And they talk like this for several days until she drops the line she needs money for a new phone to call him or something like that. 
 

The next was this  girl who wanted him to pay him to have sex on video with her. I mean, sure, right? Of course she needed him to sign up on her cam site first.  
 

So obvious. It’s like the romance equivalent of a person coming up to you and telling you they have a million dollars they need to get rid of, would you be willing to take it..Men, you’re part of the problem 

 It amazes you how gullible men are when it comes to scammers?  well, its men and women but you have to remember some of these people are vulnerable people.  Some may have learning difficulties or special needs so its unfair for you to say men and women are gullible.

Did you step in and offer your advice and help and stop the man paying his $50? 

[smackie9]

Dating sites are not the only thing that is contaminated. Ebay has never been the same with over seas merchants selling inferior products, not sending your stuff, etc.

But eventually there will be alternative sites available with fresh new formats with better protections/filters in place.

If it's that bad then you know whomever runs/owns these sites don't give a crap, as long as they have paid advertisers. There needs to be more competition so those crap site will lose some business.

Craigslist has decided to get rid of the car scammers/fake car ads by charging a $5 fee per ad. It worked like a charm. Maybe they need to charge a small monthly fee to kick out the riff-raff.

[Redhead14]

19 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

 Sometimes I hate the human race, and I wish a giant asteroid would come and vaporize the planet. 

 

Be careful what you wish for . . . it may not be an asteroid, but Corona virus is surely going to impact the planet. 

[Backinthesaddleagain]

26 minutes ago, Redhead14 said:

Be careful what you wish for . . . it may not be an asteroid, but Corona virus is surely going to impact the planet. 

Kids are annoying, and I'm tired of the snowbirds clogging up traffic anyways... 😜

But seriously, a big fireball would be a much cooler way to go out in style! 

[SumGuy]

10 hours ago, thaygiaogiang said:

To me, online dating apps are pure cancer. For starters they are where people come to show off sexually and materialistically. Say if you don't have six pack abs and a Porsche in your album, your chances of scoring women are low. At the same time, you can't show off your PhD, how hard you work, how honest you are and other rather abstract qualities which ironically are essential for building relationships. To sum it up, they are crazy and unregulated markets where goods are sex and money.

 

First it will depend a fair amount on the site and where you live.  Found pay sites are much, much better than free if one is interested in a LTR.

Also off-line there are plenty of places where it is all about the sexual and materialistic, because a lot of people are just like that.  Sex and the City, really not an bout OLD, is just one example and there is a name for places where that is the vibe, meat-markets. 

If anything, OLD opens up a place for singles who are not all about the sexual or materialistic (and who are also not highly religious) to meet.   Traditional off-line places where singles go to meet, bars, clubs, are all about the sexual and materialist.  If you've found someplace off-line where sex and money is not the vibe where singles go to meet (that is not coordinated by on-line, such as MeetUp or a church type group) please share.

Second, your failure doesn't mean it fails for everyone or even most.  You just don't see people flocking to the internet to report they have no problems and all is fine, rather the internet selects for those who have problems to report.  It's even more skewed in my opinion than reviews for places of business; people will go out of their way if they are pissed to leave a bad review, but most of those who have a good experience usually won't take the time to leave a good review.

Some counter examples to your bad experience...

I don't have 6 pack abs or a Porsche and don't put anything like that on my profile.  Actually to an extent the opposite.  Still have zero problem getting likes and messages, and a good 50%+ response rate to my likes/messages.  Last was online easily had a first meet with women found very attractive from pictures, and more importantly profile, within a week.  Could have easily had a date every night, but personally don't like to have more than 2 first meets going at any one time.

Can't show off your PhD?   First being a show off is often a turn off, but the site I use has an education level and even where you went to college fields, so right there you can get out that info.  You know how you show off your brain, in your profile: What you say, how you say it.  Just like in person. 

How hard you work?  A bit of that can be provided through photos and describing your lifestyle in your profile.  But your true determination?  Believe me, when the only way to meet people was off-line it was no easier to tell a workaholic from some one who just dialed it in unless you knew them for a long time and likely from work, both of which present their own issues.  Also, being a hard worker is baseline for most...it gains you nothing, unless it is about the money.  Now being lazy and can't do or a whiner, yes those are negative traits.

Honesty?  It is rather abstract.  Detecting liars, especially those who are lying to themselves, has always been hard.  It's actually easier for accomplished liars to lie in person as they know the art of body language and how to steer a conversation.  Also if they rely on being liars, they are often not good at written communication...so you are more likely to detect this through a profile.  Again though, honesty is baseline...being honest doesn't make you stand out.

 

Quote

 You can't gain anything positive from OLD, let alone a healthy, stable and meaningful relationship.

I'm sure there are no examples to the contrary.   I'd count myself as in healthy, stable, meaningful relationship from OLD...certainly have had several that were better than all but one that arose from meeting off-line...of which have decades of experience with as it was the only way to meet people for most of my life.   Not that it is my goal, but you can certainly gain sex and dates through OLD.  Many would consider those fun and positives.

Lastly, how do you explain the 50% divorce rate for people who only could have met off-line, or the infidelity, or all the domestic violence and other issues?  Kind of myopic to not realize relationship woes and all the BS existed long before OLD.  There wasn't even a real on-line until the 1990s.  In my view OLD is not perfect, it suffers from problems due to it's wide ranging nature, but fundamentally it is no worse and produces no worse relationship results that when people only met off-line. 

In the end, OLD is only a way to connect with people who you may want to meet off-line...all of your determination of them should be based on the meeting in the flesh. 

If you are finding you are not finding the people you want then look at the site you use and your filters.  Given it's wide ranging nature pretty sure there is what you are looking for on-line, just may be hard to find if it is rare...but likely easier than if you limited your options to only off-line introductions.  

If you are not attracting the people you want, then look at your profile, make sure it resonates with those you are after...hire someone to help you if you can't see the problems..because I guarantee you there are ways.  Again all your OLD profile is for is to get a person to meet you in person and that is when they make a decision if you are for them.

 

Caveat: I'm speaking from experience in the US (which from my understanding also works for CA and a few EU countries as well).  What you say may be true though if you live elsewhere.

Edited March 11, 2020 by SumGuy

[Allupinnit]

I think people tend to forget just how lonely people get and how vulnerable they can be.  Both men and women.  

[Gaeta]

10 hours ago, thaygiaogiang said:

You can't gain anything positive from OLD, let alone a healthy, stable and meaningful relationship.

What is your online dating experience, how long, how many meetings, for you to make such a general statement? 

I have a long list of people in my real life, who have healthy meaningful relationships that met online. Relationships that are now years long, including marriages, and parenthood.

[manfrombelow2]

4 minutes ago, Gaeta said:

What is your online dating experience, how long, how many meetings, for you to make such a general statement? 

I have a long list of people in my real life, who have healthy meaningful relationships that met online. Relationships that are now years long, including marriages, and parenthood.

Good for them then. But to me these positive cases are minority, not majority and thus don't mean anything. To me, at least, OLD is cancer.

Edited March 11, 2020 by thaygiaogiang

[Ruby Slippers]

16 hours ago, Allupinnit said:

I used to have men ask me to come over right then and there, like he could just have a pizza delivered.  

This happened to me in my last round of online dating. Well, he asked to come right over to my house. I informed this creep that I never have and never will do something so stupid. What a weirdo.

Edited March 11, 2020 by Ruby Slippers

[Ruby Slippers]

11 minutes ago, Allupinnit said:

I think people tend to forget just how lonely people get and how vulnerable they can be.  Both men and women.  

True, but a message to the lonely and vulnerable out there: NOTHING will be gained by you sending some random profile free iTunes gift cards or whatever.

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, thaygiaogiang said:

Good for them then. But to me these positive cases are minority, not majority and thus don't mean anything. To me, at least, OLD is cancer.

But you have not answered if you tried it or not, if your opinion is based on an opinion only or on actual experience.  

I have noticed a few people on here,who have never used online dating are in the front row bashing online dating. 

Personally I was online 3,5 years, made at least 200 first meeting. I have seen it all. My opinion is OLD is not for everyone. If someone wants to try it he/she needs to have a tough skin and use judgement. Using judgement means having a very clear profile and only speaking to other people with a profile aiming toward the same goal. 

OP is using OLD too 'at large'. She needs to A) be very specific about what she is looking for B) Ask a lot of questions C) Only meet men who have answered her questions with good answers. If she did that she would meet less men, but better suited to her. 

[max3732]

20 hours ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

Since I have gotten back online after a several month hiatus, it's shocking how many scams and porn sites post on them now. As if it isn't hard enough to find someone on these sites, now you have hordes of whores, porn sites, "sugar babies", couples looking for 3 ways, gang bangs, and fake profiles to wade through. Sometimes I hate the human race, and I wish a giant asteroid would come and vaporize the planet. 

 

All of a sudden I've noticed that nearly half the profiles on Tinder are fake, advertising some website or some crazy polygamist or whatever. I had to ask my friend what a "sugar baby" was since I started seeing all these profiles that mentioned it. When I do match with someone they always ask what I'm looking for. I would think it's obvious I want to date and see if we're compatible to get married and raise a family. Is that so hard to find these days? 

[Backinthesaddleagain]

1 hour ago, Gaeta said:

 

OP is using OLD too 'at large'. She needs to A) be very specific about what she is looking for B) Ask a lot of questions C) Only meet men who have answered her questions with good answers. If she did that she would meet less men, but better suited to her. 

I'm not a woman

57 minutes ago, max3732 said:

All of a sudden I've noticed that nearly half the profiles on Tinder are fake, advertising some website or some crazy polygamist or whatever. I had to ask my friend what a "sugar baby" was since I started seeing all these profiles that mentioned it. When I do match with someone they always ask what I'm looking for. I would think it's obvious I want to date and see if we're compatible to get married and raise a family. Is that so hard to find these days? 

Yeah, it used to be much better, but the vultures have swooped in heavily in the last year or so. It's not like its too hard to spot them, but once in a while there will be a good one that fools me for a few exchanges. Ugh.

[SumGuy]

2 hours ago, max3732 said:

When I do match with someone they always ask what I'm looking for. I would think it's obvious I want to date and see if we're compatible to get married and raise a family. Is that so hard to find these days? 

That’s a good question to ask.   Your answer is part of it, as in the relationship and situation you are looking for.  They may also be interested in what you are looking for in the person, personality, life style, interests, life goals, beliefs, sense of humor, etc.   

In my limited experience I don’t think Tinder or any free site is the best if looking for marriage and family minded people     
 

How hard it is to find depends on your demographic    Late 20s to mid 30s in the US is likely the key get married and have kids demographic I’m guessing  

[Hopeful30]

😂 I've been there my friend, truly I have. You're not alone in feeling this way.

Have you tried the app Hinge? I've only heard good things about the matching and authenticity of this app (and it's free!)

Edited March 11, 2020 by Hopeful30

[Gaeta]

7 minutes ago, Hopeful30 said:

Have you tried the app Hinge? I've only heard good things about the matching and authenticity of this app (and it's free!)

Mistake 1: Using an 'app'. A woman looking to date in a very last century kind of way needs a serious dating website

Mistake 2: Using a 'free' again  A woman looking to date in a very last century kind of way needs to skim her prospects and the only way to do a good job at skimming is through membership. 

Hopeful30: If you want good quality shoes you won't go shopping at Walmart right? So same here. If you are looking for a certain type of man, traditional, conservative, last century gentleman, you won't find him on a free app. For good shoes you need to aim at specialty stores, for the type of man you are looking for you need a specialty dating website.

[SumGuy]

Second what gaeta says

People looking to just get laid or scam gravitate to free apps, as theirs is a volume game and they want zero cost.  

also free sites are easier to hide your real identity if up to no good

have you searched for such sites or better yet tried a church group?

Ive a lot of female relatives with similar views, they met their husbands through church events...took things very slow and old timely courtship like even. 

[Backinthesaddleagain]

Just now, SumGuy said:

Second what gaeta says

People looking to just get laid or scam gravitate to free apps, as theirs is a volume game and they want zero cost.  

also free sites are easier to hide your real identity if up to no good

have you searched for such sites or better yet tried a church group?

Ive a lot of female relatives with similar views, they met their husbands through church events...took things very slow and old timely courtship like even. 

I got a paid Match membership the other night. We shall she, but I already had a girl respond with "I'm getting off of here, here is my Gmail. Contact me there" This pisses me off sooooo bad.  😡

And church is out of the question. I won't go into it on here for obvious reasons. 

[SumGuy]

1 minute ago, Backinthesaddleagain said:

I got a paid Match membership the other night. We shall she, but I already had a girl respond with "I'm getting off of here, here is my Gmail. Contact me there" This pisses me off sooooo bad.  😡

And church is out of the question. I won't go into it on here for obvious reasons. 

Yes, sometimes legit them getting off Match. Other times sketchy.   

 My best advice is give it time   

 For me I find this weird 3 week cycle where so so matches then bam tons of great ones then back to so so.   Also, I never relied on the algorithm, used the you may also like (that is a great feature) and my own searching.  

well my advice above on church groups etc was more for Hopeful30

now church groups are not for me either, except for that of the sub-genius

[CLS63AMG]

22 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

After I got off ( stopped paying) I realized that the site kept my profile up so men were being matched with me but since I wasn't paying anymore they couldn't contact me.  The site would send me multiple emails a day announcing all the new matches trying to lure me & my money back.  

This is what match and eharmony do.  It's win win for them, they get to keep your profile up to give the impression they have more members and they get to barrage you with emails trying to get you to pay up again.