So there's this guy.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

6 hours ago, Sparklystars28 said:

Okay.. so i went on the 3rd date and I gave him a handjob, after a lil while he stopped and got up, looked down at himself and said oh no! I said are you okay, and I noticed there was the thing on his hair, and he said he’ll be right back.. so he went to the bathroom for a lil bit came out, and asked if I had gum, which I did.. do you think he has a std or Sti that he’s not telling me about.. because after wards he said he was worried about a hernia?!? Idk what to think I’m having a slight panic attack..I’m just really nervous, because he wants to continue things and I don’t think I can I’ve inexperienced first of all.. also we have been kissing almost all night with breaks to play a game and eat. But I’ve noticed I have  like a sore on my lip. The way he kisses sometimes is like a suction cup. So I don’t know it’s from that! I feel embarrassed asking my family members. So pls someone help!!

 

Sadly, I think we need more understanding.

 

Much of what you describe won't harm anything or anyone...  and by American  standards there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to give a handjob on a 3rd date.

 

I'm hopeful that what you describe about his kissing, is the central cause of a sore on your lip...   but we all know that it could be an initial break-out of oral herpes.   

(potentially transmitted via kissing a few days earlier)

 

But we would certainly need more detail to (keep guessing at that).

 

You  "noticed there was the thing  on his hair" 

 

Does that mean pubic hair?

And can you describe the thing  in some detail ??

 

There remains hope that nothing at all is concerning about your introduction to adult romance, but we don't have enough detail to understand for sure.

 

 

[Sparklystars28]

Yes, it was on the pubic hair, it was this small area that he was concerned about. It looked like something was in his pubic hair. It might’ve been gum. But I don’t know how gum would get on his pubic hair, I wouldn’t give him oral, I’m not ready for that, even though he suggested it.  I mean his penis looked clean.he would Not let him touch his balls he said he doesn’t like that. So idk, thanks for reply, I’m sorry to bother you

[Sparklystars28]

It looked kind dark with blueish in the area he was looking at. I looked up crabs and that’s what I think he has! I felt funny typing in blueish, to you it seemed kinda crazy.  But that’s what I think he has. I had my underwear and pants on the whole time. Thank god, he was probably running his hands on the bum but that’s it. 

[stillafool]

On 3/19/2020 at 10:23 AM, Sparklystars28 said:

Idk.. my sisters won’t help because they don’t want to hear it. It embarrasses them. I’m the youngest in the family.

How old are you?  I can't believe older sisters wouldn't want to help their youngest, virgin sister navigate this situation.  Why are you letting him take you to his apartment every time instead of going somewhere else where you aren't just making out but actually talking and getting to know one another.

Edited March 23, 2020 by stillafool

[justwhoiam]

5 hours ago, Sparklystars28 said:

I looked up crabs and that’s what I think he has!

Well, you had your lesson. Nice way to get intimate the first time in your life. Chance to get crabs. Does he have hair on his face? Because pubic lice/crabs can be on his moustache/beard and he can pass it on through close contact and kissing.

Hoping you're not trolling, stop seeing this man right off the bat. He knew he had crabs and didn't tell you. And not only he didn't tell you, but he also let sexual acts go on with you. Enough for me to pass. Next. Or maybe, just don't date anyone before getting some basic sexual education.

[Sparklystars28]

No, he has no beard. It was his reaction, towards the whole thing just made me start to really question. I said well I was just worried you had something, and he said no, I’m concerned about a hernia..but he then proceed to ask me if I had gum, and he said it must be that. which I don’t think that was it at all. 

[SincereOnlineGuy]

FIRST of all... a guy attempting to conceal any sort of an STI he knew he had  would NOT be exclaiming outwardly to draw the attention of his new romantic interest.

 

I have a strong sense that IF you engage him privately, in one-to-one conversation...  (perhaps, say, in a car ?)  and demand to know exactly what the concern was when you were intimate...  he will EITHER 

A -  spin a story that is sooooooooooooooo ridiculously crazy that, with our help, you will be able to identify it as such

 

OR

 

B -   HE WILL tell you in detail EXACTLY what the concern was.    (not only that, but it will also seem/be fair, within the realm of potential sex partners, to engage in such a discussion)

 

I'm still leaning toward nothing transmissible  (unless it was an early sign of coronavirus that I don't know about)

 

(***  wow, I just looked up the definition of  "hernia"      {and usually the context in which I hear about it is when the stomach pushes its way beyond the normal realm it is supposed to occupy.    BUT...  what I read surprises me in making the guy's story ALREADY TOLD seem within the realm of reasonable  {right down to the part where that sorta thing always happens to someone ELSE, and not me-me} )

 

GUM doesn't sound thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat far-out, to what I assume is someone who knows of such medical concerns .

 

In fact, I would more quickly bet on "blue" ... as something you might see relating to a hernia, than something you might see that relates to crabs.

 

Just remember, all of those pretty boys you see in the street and in the malls...  are quite likely to have flaws hidden SOMEwhere.