Kera Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 about someone named confused posting porn or something with a virus. Truly this was not me, confused Kera. I sincerely need advice in my marriage. Here is my problem: Why do encourage my husband to go to strip clubs? I have asked myself this over and over. In the past, it was exciting to me for him to oggle nude dancers. What is wrong with me? We have been together 16 years and from the beginning of our time together. We each say we love each other and never want to leave each other. Our sex is just that -- sex. I have begged him to be intimate (romantic, kiss because he won't kiss-never has, candles, music, etc. in bed -- he says ok and then ignores my request. Now I am on a pattern of sending him to strip clubs. What IS this and why am I doing this? Am I a glutton for punishment. This is serious. I don't think I really want this so why is it arousing me? Someone please help me figure this out. Confused Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 12, 2001 Share Posted June 12, 2001 Only you know why you do things. There is no way of analyzing your motivations without questioning you. This may be what is called by psychologists a reaction formation. It's displaying the opposite behavior of that which is truly intended. It may be a desire for him to get sexually worked up by the strippers so he will then come home and make love to you. Your problem is not rare in a marriage of such duration. While some couples are able to retain a degree of passion, many are not. But usually people find ways of effecting a satisfactory sex life. You can't expect things to be a hot as they were right after you met. But surely things can be better than they are now. Your marriage is on a collision course with divorce, or intense unhappiness and unfufillment, unless you seek competent psychological counselling to heal it. Do this ASAP! This is not just your problem, it belongs to BOTH of you. Your husband should be equally curious about why his wife is sending him away to watch babes take their clothes off. Does your husband's elevator go all the way to the top floor? Link to post Share on other sites
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