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how can I cope with the depression and resentment ?


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we are separated for about 9 mths now. 

i had individual counselling for a long time, and she is not comfortable going and the counselor also say there is nothing he can do since she is not at the session. 

this marriage failure cause me to go into a dark place, a very dark place. i lost myself and my worth. i lost our lifestyle, the dreams we had together, lost the hope of having a family. lost of common friends etc etc.been trying to get out of the rut, yet each time when i try to get up, i get knock down again. 

also i am not sure if i am going through the anger phrase of the stages of grief very often? or if resentment from the marriage has been eating me up. 

i cant stop feeling that life is meaningless and has nothing to live for. i couldnt understand why as i thought that life was finally treating me right when i met my wife, how did the marriage turn so sour. i have been a good person, always trying to be better. i dont bring harm to anyone. and i never ill treat her and she doesnt ill treat me. somehow, things just not going right.

i have been in a rut trying to get out for a while and the anger i have inside that i cant process is making it really unhealthy. i have been trying to get over it with no much results... how do i get over the resentment and depression?

thanks in advance

Edited by wtm78
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Part of it is acceptance.  This is your new reality:  you are getting divorced.  

Step 2 is to make lists.  What do you have to do to get on with it?  What do you want your new life to look like & what will you do to accomplish this?  

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  • 4 weeks later...

You are the same person you were when you had your wife.  Unfortunately, you seem to have relied on having a wife or someone to love to make you feel better about yourself, so now you feel like nothing, but that isn't true.  Sounds like low self-esteem.  You've been separated a long time.  Don't you think you'd feel better if you just went ahead and made it official and cut ties so you can move on with your life?  

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