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Am I just a crutch?


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On 4/19/2020 at 7:04 AM, Lylalou said:

@stillafoolbecause it’s just more delaying tactics.

Madly I wish you all the luck and happiness in the world but you aren’t going to live happily ever after with this man, he won’t change, maybe for a while but he will revert back to being the player he always has been. My counsellor says one woman just isn’t enough for some men and he is typically that type of man.

Is he a player? If I missed it somewhere, I apologize in advance, but I didn't think I saw that anywhere. It's quite possible that the MM would not be a "player" with Madly. We have to look at all possibilities here.

Nobody here could 100% be so sure that this MM cannot be a loyal to this OW. We don't know how MM's marriage is or how it was. I understand where everyone is coming from looking at the latest odds of MM's truly being a real loyal lover to the OW...but also remember, we don't get very many successful MM stories here either because they don't post. This forum typically attracts people who have bad issues regarding infidelity, not affairs that resulted in successful relationships.

In regards to the counselor that says one woman just isn’t enough for some men, I would gladly wager that if you give a man the right woman it will be all he'll ever needs.

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The OP has repeatedly said the MM is a serial cheat and has been for over 30 years. I don't think calling him a player is too far off the mark!

This is an old man whose habits are deeply engrained it would take years of work for him to become a safe partner for anybody and he would probably need to be on his own to do the work.

The statistics for successful relationships starting from affairs are not high. I don't remember the exact numbers but it's something like just over 75% of them do not last 5 years. The odds are not good to begin with and when one partner is a serial cheat then they are really stacked against them.

BTW these are quite favorable statistics I have actually seen ones quoted somewhere else that were single figure in favour of the APs staying together. Of course some couples do make it, but it's still a low number.

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On 3/14/2020 at 2:00 PM, MadlyDeeply said:

He has been m for 34yrs, he has been unfaithful throughout but nothing long term(This is always in back of my head) 

There is also another post when MD says that she believes he has lost count of the women he has had sex with during his marriage and that she feels badly for his wife, because she has no idea how “bad” he has really been. 

Yes,I would call him a player. If the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior, the odds that he is suddenly going to settle down and be faithful to one woman are slim to none. Before you go spinning fairy tales, you should gather the facts.

Edited by BaileyB
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