I will no longer make eye contact with a woman at the workplace and assume anything

[simpycurious]

Just because you are over 6' tall, fit, etc. does not mean EVERYTHING is perfect.  Maybe, your list of potential "dates" increases but 

that doesn't mean the relationship(s) will be ideal just based on looks or physical prowess.  Sometimes, WE all have to find that out 

the hard way (trust me it sucks sometimes)

[Azincourt]

1 hour ago, simpycurious said:

Just because you are over 6' tall, fit, etc. does not mean EVERYTHING is perfect.  Maybe, your list of potential "dates" increases but 

that doesn't mean the relationship(s) will be ideal just based on looks or physical prowess.  Sometimes, WE all have to find that out 

the hard way (trust me it sucks sometimes)

Ideal relationships do not exist. My parents have been together for 40 years but it's hard work, and the digging gets even deeper when there's kids, a mortgage to pay for, car payments, health insurance, dealing with in-laws and brothers and sisters-in-law. People have to reflect upon what they want, and if what they want is worth the sacrifices needed to get it.

It's a lot of hard work and a lot of stress and a lot of expenses.

 

[preraph]

OP, in high school, didn't you ever notice that there are some people who are open and friendly to everyone and some who are not?  That's all that went on here.  She is just a social person who is polite in the workplace, nothing more.  Jeez, even when I was young and maybe in a club, I would smile at different people, not just the one guy I thought was hot.  It's called "being friendly," but it has no further meaning at work because everyone is paid to get along with everyone. 

 

I'm not naturally smiley in the workplace, but when I started this one part-time office job I've now held for 10 years, I vowed I was going to smile at people a lot more, simply because being older and big and having a bit of a b**ch face, some people look at me and think I'm cranky, so I compensate for that when I think about it.  Smiling isn't reserved for romantic interests. 

Edited March 17, 2020 by preraph

[Azincourt]

5 minutes ago, preraph said:

OP, in high school, didn't you ever notice that there are some people who are open and friendly to everyone and some who are not?  That's all that went on here.  She is just a social person who is polite in the workplace, nothing more.  Jeez, even when I was young and maybe in a club, I would smile at different people, not just the one guy I thought was hot.  It's called "being friendly," but it has no further meaning at work because everyone is paid to get along with everyone. 

Yeah, guys working together with women ?

No bueno. 

Unless we're talking about gay hairdressers or fashion designers.

Guys get thirsty, they don't get to meet women outside of work because of reasons, they start assuming this or that woman is interested in them, they make a move, the woman gets uncomfortable, goes to HR, booooom there goes the guy's job.

Good job finding a job in this economy that pays well.

OP, have you ever considered working in construction?

All dudes, and you get free workout time. Much better and much cheaper than a gym membership.

Edited March 17, 2020 by Azincourt

[preraph]

The good thing here is as far as we know, he didn't say or do anything out of line.  He simply got seething mad when he found out that smile meant zippo.  She'll be mystified now if he snubs her, because she didn't do anything but be polite and professional to him. 

[Azincourt]

It could be worse.

Many guys escalate from being ''only'' seething mad'' to verbally or physically violent.

You know, it always baffles me how so many young women enter the workplace completely unaware that many guys are only nice because they want to smash, or that many guys will believe she just proposed him in marriage after coming across him in the recreation area during her coffee break and saying hi to him.

My mom's pretty smart for raising my sisters to not be overly friendly to guys, to keep their distance, after being sexually harassed since the moment she turned 10, yes, lots of creeps out there in the world,  she always had to be extremely guarded when around men.

One dude who was married to my mother's friend thought she wanted to sleep with him after she gave him a hug(they'd known each other for years) so what he did while his wife was making dinner was to enter the bathroom while my mother was there, stark naked. Dude got a few teeth knocked out, but I doubt he learned his lesson.

And people wonder why am I don't trust any guy who gets near the women in my family.

[preraph]

Oh, how scary!  Glad he got his teeth adjusted.  Really, I would say most women, the younger and less experienced they are, just don't understand how it's all about sex with so many guys in so many scenarios.  Women, when naive -- which is they're lucky can last a while -- really don't like finding out all that.  They want to believe they are their princes and there is this one right one who is just so romantic and doesn't have eyes for anyone else, and it's a huge disappointment idealogically to them.  I think it's becoming more apparent these days, but I remember early days on the internet, some girls would get really up in arms if you tried to tell them the guy wasn't madly in romantic love with them and that it was mostly about them loving sex or that some guy they were crushing on wasn't "destined" for them (guys do that too.)  If only life were that fairytale....  

 

Not to say all guys are like that, because they're not, but especially young women are all going to have to go through a bunch like that usually.  First it's their young guys who are just young and obsessed with sex because they're young, and then it's the 40 year olds who are making moves on them, which at least most young women are just creeped out by.  

I remember guy friends I worked with would try to TELL me that stuff, protecting me. I did hear them, but it didn't change my course right then. 

[Sinful]

5 hours ago, Azincourt said:

I've never met a guy who ''doesn't get any attention'' from women.

When people say that this guy or that guy doesn't get female attention, what they actually mean is that those men aren't noticed by women who are in the same league looks-wise. Women are part of their league looks-wise notice them and are attracted to them, but the guys would rather complain and be alone.

I get what you're trying to say here, but I dislike this idea that people often constrict themselves to that people above a certain level looks wise are simply "out of their league". So we tell people you can never get a girl or a guy that looks like that because they're out of your league. I just love when people tell me all the things I cannot do or achieve in this world because they are "impossible" or "out of my league".  

Edited March 17, 2020 by Sinful

[Azincourt]

26 minutes ago, preraph said:

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Oh, how scary!  Glad he got his teeth adjusted.  Really, I would say most women, the younger and less experienced they are, just don't understand how it's all about sex with so many guys in so many scenarios.

 

That makes no sense to me. 

The women who are part of our civlization aren't kept away from men, like they are in India and China and Saudi Arabia and so on and on since birth. Women grow up in the states and in Europe and Australia surrounded by guys who are going through the most hormonal stage of their lives, and they go about their young lives unaware that Jimmy boy is only hanging out with her because he wants to do the samba parade in her pants, and when the guy finally musters the guts to make a move - she is genuinely surprised and hurt, thinking that he was her friend.

Yeah, there are friendships between men and women. Many last a lifetime. But attractive women will have far more men interested in sex than in being best friends, let's watch mean girls together xoxo.

And yet, they don't instinctively know this.

They have to go through a handful of creeps making this uncomfortable for them to learn.

Something that has always bugged me is that average-looking women are more aware of a guy's intentions than many young, attractive women are.

 

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  Women, when naive -- which is they're lucky can last a while -- really don't like finding out all that.  They want to believe they are their princes and there is this one right one who is just so romantic and doesn't have eyes for anyone else

 

That's because women's sex drive is condensed and focused  instead of being spread out like a man's is. Women will get the hots like a guy does and she will want as much sex as the guy wants - but she wants to have sex with THAT guy. Not with Joe or Nic or Michael. No matter how attractive the guy is, whereas a young guy who suddenly finds himself surrounded by many attractive young women who are into him will try to sleep with all of them, instead of choosing just one, ahem, and then he gets rejected by the 5 hottest women in his classroom.

Many men will sleep with as many women as humanly possible, if he has the money or the looks for it. Women ain't like that. I met quite a few party girls but even then they wouldn't sleep with every guy just because he was 6'6'' or had cheekbones like Angelina Jolie. It's a mistake that many young men make. 

''I'm attractive and there aren't that many guys around, I'm sure I can get laid,'' and then they start bothering the women who happen to be in their workplace, nightclub, college, gas station lol.

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, and it's a huge disappointment idealogically to them.  I think it's becoming more apparent these days, but I remember early days on the internet, some girls would get really up in arms if you tried to tell them the guy wasn't madly in romantic love with them and that it was mostly about them loving sex or that some guy they were crushing on wasn't "destined" for them (guys do that too.)  If only life were that fairytale....  

I feel that women tend to be possessive abotu the men they are attracted to because women don't find themselves attracted to a guy, attracted to the point of wanting to sleep with him, all that often, and when a guy turns out to want other women other than her, she feels betrayed and used.

When I was in high school, I was fortunate to be able to study aboard.  I went to Brazil, and It's Brazil, you know.

I made a move on a girl there from my classroom, she figured out I also wanted to sleep with the other girls in her classroom, so she went behind my back telling the girls to stay away from me, claiming that I was a womanizer and that I would make them unhappy.  Found out about this later when someone I had my eye on went up to me and ranted my ears out, letting me know what was going on.

. I was just a 15 year old boy surrounded by Brazilians, but apparently the culture these girls are part of has boys painted as womanizers if they act like, well 15 year old boys.

 

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Not to say all guys are like that, because they're not, but especially young women are all going to have to go through a bunch like that usually.  First it's their young guys who are just young and obsessed with sex because they're young, and then it's the 40 year olds who are making moves on them, which at least most young women are just creeped out by.  

 

It's natural for young men to be sex-crazed. Their sex drive will chill over the decades and they will develop common sense.

About the 40 year olds, I dunno. Back in college I met a 37 year old man who entered a relationship with a 19 year old, classmate of ours.  But he was a muscular 6'4''  Robert Redford. There are exceptions. Most young women do not want older men, but there are some attractive young-woman-older-man couples out there.

Dudes like that probably end up dumped when the young woman they're dating turns 30, and the guys almost 50.

Edited March 17, 2020 by Azincourt

[Azincourt]

23 minutes ago, Sinful said:

I get what you're trying to say here, but I dislike this idea that people often constrict themselves to that people above a certain level looks wise are simply "out of their league". So we tell people you can never get a girl or a guy that looks like that because they're out of your league. I just love when people tell me all the things I cannot do or achieve in this world because they are "impossible" or "out of my league".  

Assortive mating. People will pair up with those who are in their league, looks-wise. That also goes for people's economical background, college education etc. It does happen, someone entering a relationship with someone who is more attractive than themselves, but usually the men make 2 to 3 times more money than what she does,  or she suffers from low self-esteem/was abused by men in her league, and so she sets her standards lower.

[preraph]

What I've noticed in regard to Sinful's comment is there's always a trade-off.  Like a lot of women I've know, I felt were good women with pretty crappy stubborn men.  Some matched up in looks, some not.  One is really better looking than her man and a much nicer person, but she clings to whoever she latches onto because she's needy that way from abandonment issues.  

 

One average looking guy I worked with for years had an outgoing but obnoxious personality.  He was one of those insulting "only joking" guys who'd then try to make you look bad for not thinking he was funny or polite.  He had chip on his shoulder about all authority.  And he was a total alcoholic.  He was always bragging about not getting married "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."  He was no prize. 

 

And it was a mystery to all how he attracted and kept for some time a beautiful willowy local model.  Sweet girl.  She was always waiting on him and making us women cringe.  But the deal with her was -- she was sweet, but she had NOTHING going on upstairs.  I found out firsthand socializing with the.  She literally had nothing to converse about.  Dumb as a box of rocks.  He mentioned it to me, too, how he got bored with her because of it.  He said her mom raised her that way, just to look good and get a man.  But I mean, even my boss was wondering how he managed that.  One of my exes really creeped me out commenting one time, "Wouldn't she be nice to have?"  Oh, ugh.  I vomited a little in my mouth.  

 

She was nice though, and she met and married a better guy right after she finally left that loser.  I hope whoever it was took her around the world and got her some conversation fodder...

 

So yeah, there's always a trade-off.  For the older guys snagging a younger women, they're nearly always just there for whatever amount of money he has.  There are women who will prostitute themselves for even just free meals because they're that poor.  It was like that out in the country where my dad lived.  They'd latch onto anyone who'd give them anything at all or even who would just let them hang at their place to get away from their own horrible families.  But those relationships where there's a big imbalance of power aren't usually healthy.  

[Azincourt]

29 minutes ago, preraph said:

Quote

What I've noticed in regard to Sinful's comment is there's always a trade-off.  Like a lot of women I've know, I felt were good women with pretty crappy stubborn men.  Some matched up in looks, some not.  One is really better looking than her man and a much nicer person, but she clings to whoever she latches onto because she's needy that way from abandonment issues.  

 

Yeah, women lower their standards all the time, either physically or where it concerns his level of education, because they're hard-pressed by their own biology or by society, to get married and have babies.

I'm a millennial.

My generation  - everyone really - was deeply affected by the world-wide recession that took place back in 2008, leaving millions of people with little chance of building a life for themselves.

It's not just women with high school diplomas who are feeling the aftershock caused by this house-market collapse. 

I know of 25 year old college graduates with an engineering degree or a vet degree who are trying to get older, well-established men in their 30s and 40s to marry them, because they're the only men who can support a family, a house, and a fair share of the expenses.

What happens when a 30-40 year old man realizes that he can do what he wants by dangling the carrot?

Young women end up burn and bitter as the years pass by, and men are just using them for sex.

And then there are the women out there with good jobs and manage to get that high-earner man to marry them because they want to leave their parents house and start their own family, and very few young men are able to do that these days.  They are not sexually attracted to the men. Dead bedrooms. Terrible enviroment for a kid to grow up in, with his mother and father hating each other.

Most Italian men aged 18-40 are living with their parents still, same goes for the Spaniards and a few more, even in France where the minimum wage has been historically higher than in most other Euro Countries,  there's been violent strikes to motivate the govt. to increase their salaries.

What happens is that you end up having a generation of women who marry the men they marry not because they love them, but because it beats living with your mom and dad until you are 50.   I have a suspicion why the divorce rate is so high in Europe is because of that, at least a bit responsible for it.

 

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So yeah, there's always a trade-off.  For the older guys snagging a younger women, they're nearly always just there for whatever amount of money he has.  There are women who will prostitute themselves for even just free meals because they're that poor.  It was like that out in the country where my dad lived.  They'd latch onto anyone who'd give them anything at all or even who would just let them hang at their place to get away from their own horrible families.  But those relationships where there's a big imbalance of power aren't usually healthy.  

yeah, part of me always fears that. 

You're a 30-something man with a better body, face, hairline, than most men who are 10, 15 years younger than you, and you can still get  modelling contracts working for forever 21 and other ''young man'' fashion brands despite being over 10 years older than a 21 year old model, but at the end of the day you do wonder if you having your own house, no college debt, no healthcare debt, no credit card debt,  and life savings is just a bonus for her in addition to your looks and your charm, or if it wasn't for your material possessions - would she just get a 21 year old man who is as physically attractive as you are.

But then you realize that many, many, many women your age and older might also be interested in you only because you got your life put together unlike many other men, and that you are marriage material, but not ''imma sleep with you 3 times a day for the next 40 years because I am just so attracted to you''

And would I care that a woman is only with me, was I to be a 600-million in the bank, soccer player, like 35 year old Cristiano Ronaldo with his 23 year old super model of a girlfriend and mom to one of his kids? Or would I just accept that the jewels, the mansions, and the 100.000 euros I pay her each month is what I have to offer to be with her?

Would I feel bad that she might dump me for a much younger man when her bank accounts are stuffed up enough to last her a lifetime?

No idea.

Edited March 17, 2020 by Azincourt

[ZA Dater]

6 hours ago, Azincourt said:

I've never met a guy who ''doesn't get any attention'' from women.

The average man here is 6 feet tall and 160 to 180lbs at 10% body fat, when they don't work out, or when they don't work a physical job, and they don't really have to put that much effort into getting a girlfriend.

When people say that this guy or that guy doesn't get female attention, what they actually mean is that those men aren't noticed by women who are in the same league looks-wise. Women are part of their league looks-wise notice them and are attracted to them, but the guys would rather complain and be alone.

You right I don't want a large obese lady either. If that's the best I can then yes I'd rather be alone. The point is as people we should aspire to something better. I also don't see why men should put in all the effort, look at this scenario, its clear the OP interpreted this because he had never had any attention from someone he found attractive, had he experienced that he would have been able to see this for what it was, someone being friendly.

 

[preraph]

Certainly, a lot of guys would happily pay (and do) for the "trophy wife."  

 

Certainly there are still people in the US who marry just anyone to get out of their parents' house.  Now, my mom was born in the country with no one around and 12 siblings.  Most of those sisters married the first dude they met who didn't live out there just to get out of there.  My mom TOLD me that.  My dad knew it too.  He was her second husband.  She had nothing for her first husband but just to get out.  

 

And it still goes on, especially in poor communities.  Jeez, it's understandable to a degree.  I mean, we see helpless women (and men sometimes) on here who are in terrible predicaments with mentally ill parents or siblings who are just on the street desperate to get a toehold.  It's sad.  So the women are very vulnerable to anyone who offers them any help, and they end up getting pimped out for that reason.  It's just sad so many people are so desperate.  

 

 

[preraph]

4 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

You right I don't want a large obese lady either. If that's the best I can then yes I'd rather be alone. 

 

Oh, here we go.  And they don't want you either.  You surely must realize that by now. No way would one put up with your attitude about it.  

[ZA Dater]

1 minute ago, preraph said:

Certainly, a lot of guys would happily pay (and do) for the "trophy wife."  

 

Certainly there are still people in the US who marry just anyone to get out of their parents' house.  Now, my mom was born in the country with no one around and 12 siblings.  Most of those sisters married the first dude they met who didn't live out there just to get out of there.  My mom TOLD me that.  My dad knew it too.  He was her second husband.  She had nothing for her first husband but just to get out.  

 

And it still goes on, especially in poor communities.  Jeez, it's understandable to a degree.  I mean, we see helpless women (and men sometimes) on here who are in terrible predicaments with mentally ill parents or siblings who are just on the street desperate to get a toehold.  It's sad.  So the women are very vulnerable to anyone who offers them any help, and they end up getting pimped out for that reason.  It's just sad so many people are so desperate.  

 

 

I am glad you opened this door because I was never sure if discussing this would be offensive to some. The issue I have is encompassed in the above and its probably for me near the top of the most irritating parts of dating.

[ZA Dater]

3 minutes ago, preraph said:

Oh, here we go.  And they don't want you either.  You surely must realize that by now. No way would one put up with your attitude about it.  

Actually they are remarkably persistent, some chatting for months hoping to woo me into meeting them. Actually come to think of it the best "dating experience" I had was with a co worker scenario like the OP describes.

OP you have another option, keep being friendly, enjoy the attention, give her attention, she clearly will seek it if you are friendly.

[Azincourt]

14 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

You right I don't want a large obese lady either. If that's the best I can then yes I'd rather be alone. The point is as people we should aspire to something better. I also don't see why men should put in all the effort, look at this scenario, its clear the OP interpreted this because he had never had any attention from someone he found attractive, had he experienced that he would have been able to see this for what it was, someone being friendly.

 

There's nothing wrong with wanting what you want when you can get it, yes.  The President of one of the richest sports club in Europe is almost 80 and his ex-wife is 31. He married her when she was 23 or 27, not sure.

After the divorce she got together with a guy her own age. Who eventually dumped her, lol, but that's a risk every man and woman runs in any case. The wife of the President of Brazil is about 30 years younger than him. I think she's younger than his children.

We should aspire to something better, but when she's a 21 year old victoria secret's model and the guy's a broke 45 year old man, he oughta just by a tv dinner and watch the NFL play instead of embarassing himself and making the young woman uncomfortable by hitting on her.

I remember this woman who makes a living getting naked for magazines telling me when we were getting to know each other that a guy had hit on her at the club hard, that she was flattered because he was hot, but because he was old enough to be her uncle she rejected him.

Her last boyfriend was a guy her own age whose dad was the owner of a Swiss bank. She wasn't really into it, but staying a full-year rent-free in a 3 million condo while getting ahem, a monthly allowance makes many a woman forget she's not really into the sex she's having with him.

Some. Many. Not all, remember that. Most women won't sleep with a guy just because he has money.

Bro, nothing in life is cheap. Beautiful women sure as hell aren't. You're paying it either with your looks, money or charm. And I can't blame them. I'd marry Madonna or JLO or even Trump's mom if she was alive, for that sweet money.

Edited March 17, 2020 by Azincourt

[Marc878]

I’ve seen a lot of guys project (I’m attracted so she must be too). Not sure if it’s gender related as I’m not privy to the female side.

A lot seem to read way to much or over analyze menial things.

 

[preraph]

9 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Actually they are remarkably persistent, some chatting for months hoping to woo me into meeting them. Actually come to think of it the best "dating experience" I had was with a co worker scenario like the OP describes.

OP you have another option, keep being friendly, enjoy the attention, give her attention, she clearly will seek it if you are friendly.

They wouldn't be if they knew your attitude about them and met you in person.

[ZA Dater]

3 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

There's nothing wrong with wanting what you want when you can get it, yes.  The President of one of the richest sports club in Europe is almost 80 and his ex-wife is 31. He married her when she was 23 or 27, not sure.

After the divorce she got together with a guy her own age. Who eventually dumped her, lol, but that's a risk every man and woman runs in any case. The wife of the President of Brazil is about 30 years younger than him. I think she's younger than his children.

We should aspire to something better, but when she's a 21 year old victoria secret's model and the guy's a broke 45 year old man, he oughta just by a tv dinner and watch the NFL play instead of embarassing himself and making the young woman uncomfortable by hitting on her.

I remember this woman who makes a living getting naked for magazines telling me when we were getting to know each other that a guy had hit on her at the club hard, that she was flattered because he was hot, but because he was old enough to be her uncle she rejected him.

Her last boyfriend was a guy her own age whose dad was the owner of a Swiss bank. She wasn't really into it, but staying a full-year rent-free in a 3 million condo while getting ahem, a monthly allowance makes many a woman forget she's not really into the sex she's having with him.

Some. Many. Not all, remember that. Most women won't sleep with a guy just because he has money.

Bro, nothing in life is cheap. Beautiful women sure as hell aren't. You're paying it either with your looks, money or charm. And I can't blame them. I'd marry Madonna or JLO or even Trump's mom if she was alive, for that sweet money.

That's exactly my point, people here seem unwilling to acknowledge that ALL that matters to MOST are looks and money. One can be the most thoughtful guy, well mannered, motivated in life, passionate about things ALL of those things are irrelevant ALL of the time because NO matter what ladies tell you, you CANNOT win against the poorly mannered, unmotivated trust fund guy.

Ladies have ALL the power to select and reject UNLESS as a guy you have looks and money, that's the truth in my opinion. I have tried to compete a few times but its pointless, all that ends up happening is any good quality I have is deemed worthless.

Dating in its entirety is nothing but superficial.

[Azincourt]

12 minutes ago, preraph said:

Certainly, a lot of guys would happily pay (and do) for the "trophy wife."  

 

A few years back I was living in Portugal and I happened to be reading the newspaper. 45% of all marriages the year prior had happened between Portuguese men and Brazilian women. I bet the women were giving them a lot of sex, and in return they were given that sweet Portuguese nationality, enabling them to move inside Europe freely.

 

 

12 minutes ago, preraph said:

 

Certainly there are still people in the US who marry just anyone to get out of their parents' house.  Now, my mom was born in the country with no one around and 12 siblings.  Most of those sisters married the first dude they met who didn't live out there just to get out of there.  My mom TOLD me that.  My dad knew it too.  He was her second husband.  She had nothing for her first husband but just to get out.  

 

Yeah, the states, Europe, South America, you name it. And that's the ''good Countries.'' Then there's the women who were unfortunate enough to be born in India,  Saudi Arabia, Iran, Egypt etc and are stuck getting sold off by their parents to the highest bidder.

When I was living in the Middle-East because my college sent me there, I got myself involved with someone living under Sharia Law. Her father wouldn't let me have anything serious with her daughter because I'm not a muslim, and because he wanted to keep the woman in the Country, and he had already sold her hand to a friend's son, someone she really didn't want to be with. But what could she do?

Cross the border to Pakistan? It's an even worse Country. Fly out of the Country?  Women aren't allowed to have a passport. Only their fathers or husbands can get the govt. to start the papers.

Life, for a woman, is awful. She's either sold off by her parents with the price depending on how attractive and young she is, if she's unlucky to be born outside of the western nations, and if she's a citizen of a western Country - it wasn't that long ago that her mother/grandmother wasn't even allowed to have a bank account or to own her own house, and even today  life is highly dangerous for a 21th century American/European woman.

 

12 minutes ago, preraph said:

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Azincourt]

15 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

That's exactly my point, people here seem unwilling to acknowledge that ALL that matters to MOST are looks and money.

Don't many men want an attractive young woman?

Why shouldn't a woman who is beautiful, young, fit, and young, want a man who is as attractive and young as she is, or rich?

Because he's a decent human being he's entitled to having someone?

Someone who is ''better'' than them in this regard?

Looks and money are not ALL that matters. Millions of women out there dating men who aren't rich nor handsome, nor tall, nor muscular and they're happy with the men they are with.

But say, if you want Selena Gomez - you have to have something of worth to offer in return, no?

 

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One can be the most thoughtful guy, well mannered, motivated in life, passionate about things ALL of those things are irrelevant ALL of the time because NO matter what ladies tell you, you CANNOT win against the poorly mannered, unmotivated trust fund guy.

Sure, if you want to bring home a 19 year old Laetitia Casta, you're going to have a hard time if you don't have much to offer, but if you are all of that you just described and your standards aren't, ''this woman must be more attractive than me, and not only she has to be more attractive but she has to be attractive enough to grab the attention of Prince William,''  there's no reason why you'd have a hard time finding a girlfriend.

Trust-fund babies only win at the beginning. They get the awkward sex, when she's 18 and still lacking experience, but she ain't gonna marry him or have kids with him. 

I know men who are in their 70s and 80s and still living the playboy lifestyle with women much younger than themselves - but do you think the majority of players don't get burned out and bored with casual sex and meaningless, superficial relationships with women they have nothing in common with other than, '' i want sex with her cuz she's hot durr durr''

?

 

 

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Ladies have ALL the power to select and reject UNLESS as a guy you have looks and money, that's the truth in my opinion. I have tried to compete a few times but its pointless, all that ends up happening is any good quality I have is deemed worthless.

Dating in its entirety is nothing but superficial.

 

nah. Women get rejected all the time. Not just unattractive women get rejected. Average women get rejected. Attractive women get used and dumped by men(no, not just by rich Tom Brady's type). Beautiful women get ignored by men and go years and years without a date, and the more attractive a woman is, the higher the chance the guy is just approaching you/dating you/ because you are the hottest he's ever had and he's winning bro-points with his frat boys cliche.

It's not like you are born attractive and you have Saudi Princes transfering 10s of millions into you bank accounts. You're not assigned a 25 year old Marlon Brando when you turn 18, and there's lots of men who are intimidated by how good you look, hence why many women either physically approach the man they are interested on, or they signal so many obvious 'social signals of sexual interest' that you end up thinking she's the Titanic trying to get people to come save you.

You never know how the guy you are approaching is going to react. 

is he going to make a scene? Humiliate me? treat me badly?  Ignore me? if you think approaching a woman in the middle of the street is daunting, try being a young woman who has no idea what she is doing.

 

Edited March 17, 2020 by Azincourt

[ZA Dater]

13 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Sure, if you want to bring home a 19 year old Laetitia Casta, you're going to have a hard time if you don't have much to offer, but if you are all of that you just described and your standards aren't, ''this woman must be more attractive than me, and not only she has to be more attractive but she has to be attractive enough to grab the attention of Prince William,''  there's no reason why you'd have a hard time finding a girlfriend.

Trust-fund babies only win at the beginning. They get the awkward sex, when she's 18 and still lacking experience, but she ain't gonna marry him or have kids with him. 

I know men who are in their 70s and 80s and still living the playboy lifestyle with women much younger than themselves - but do you think the majority of players don't get burned out and bored with casual sex and meaningless, superficial relationships with women they have nothing in common with other than, '' i want sex with her cuz she's hot durr durr''

nah. Women get rejected all the time. Not just unattractive women get rejected. Average women get rejected. Attractive women get used and dumped by men(no, not just by rich Tom Brady's type). Beautiful women get ignored by men and go years and years without a date, and the more attractive a woman is, the higher the chance the guy is just approaching you/dating you/ because you are the hottest he's ever had and he's winning bro-points with his frat boys cliche.

It's not like you are born attractive and you have Saudi Princes transfering 10s of millions into you bank accounts. You're not assigned a 25 year old Marlon Brando when you turn 18, and there's lots of men who are intimidated by how good you look, hence why many women either physically approach the man they are interested on, or they signal so many obvious 'social signals of sexual interest' that you end up thinking she's the Titanic trying to get people to come save you.

You never know how the guy you are approaching is going to react. 

is he going to make a scene? Humiliate me? treat me badly?  Ignore me? if you think approaching a woman in the middle of the street is daunting, try being a young woman who has no idea what she is doing.

 

Its very easy to have these view points if you have had the good experiences which apparently you have had, its quite another having had no good experience at all. Then yes a lot of this is on the aspirational scale. I have NEVER met anyone attractive who gets NO attention. Whereas I have met lots of GOOD guys who get nowhere at all. I have the good looking guys, made some look quite ignorant (he is taking her home anyway) and yet they still get chased by miss athletic. Those guys can behave how they please and still get plenty of attraction, its simply a matter of finding the next attractive lady.

I am bitter yes and like the OP tried the workplace thing, heck where was the bf when she was moving, nowhere to be seen, who helped her: me. There have been countless other examples across many ladies they keep going back for more. At least I walk way knowing I am a better person than those bf's.

[Sinful]

42 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Ladies have ALL the power to select and reject UNLESS as a guy you have looks and money, that's the truth in my opinion. I have tried to compete a few times but its pointless, all that ends up happening is any good quality I have is deemed worthless.

And this mentality is exactly why you have no success with women. You've already given up before you even get yourself in the game. 

 

51 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

We should aspire to something better, but when she's a 21 year old victoria secret's model and the guy's a broke 45 year old man, he oughta just by a tv dinner and watch the NFL play instead of embarassing himself and making the young woman uncomfortable by hitting on her.

True, but in that case if you're the 45 yr old who wants the Victoria Secret model then you should know you need to up your game starting with your wallet.