I feel so unworthy. With men. Like nothing ever really matters?

[oppositeage26]

Maybe it's better to feel ugly then to feel more attractive than the next chick but be totally ignored. You get men telling you guys should be all over you you get angry women but you waste your youth alone isolated.

Irl I'm so damn untouchable. No guy will ever be with me irl. I used to be in so pain about it. But now it just causes anger.

I have to work hard a year and a half trying to lose my virginity online getting crapped on by guys and treated poorly, I mean I feel accomplished but it does bother me that the only action I've gotten with guys online I chased and told I wanted to have sex with them. I never been approached.

I think of my body I'm super skinny with huge boobs and I think what good was it than an overweight women or small with no curves? I just am shaped this way just to die. Not to attract anything but depression and death. Since I looked up I am genetically prone for cancer. I just feel like I got a dumbass guy to look at me he will never do anything about it.

I can't get that appreciation from men that women get. And I just was looking at this celebrity who I always considered around my age who's in her 30's and was seeing how much she aged. I feel like if I did live well my youth is gone and what's left of my young looks will be gone soon and I just feel so bitter.

Sometimes I just hate men because they're too dumb to really read me. Yeah I'm just mean but you haven't even said hi to me. Yeah there are tons of men around me. Do you see them following me? Do you see them chasing me? It's just so tiring.

Andshame on me for being desperate after 20 plus years of neglect but every now and then a woman wants to be treated like other women. At the end of the day maybe I wasn't meant for being with a man. Maybe. Somehow. But when guys talk about relationship I just get so mad.

I was at work and someone was talking about approachability and it made me almost cry by not that badly as I usually do I only teared up. But I am just tired. I don't need to be pretty really. There was never any point or purpose

Edited March 16, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[schlumpy]

What do your girlfriends say about you? I'm getting a lot of negative attitude from your post that if you are putting that on display may partially be part of your self perceived problem. 

[Blind-Sided]

@schlumpy is right.

I know anything I say really won't help... but... I knew this girl in collage who was short... very round, and had a strange gremlin face.  BUT... she was a nice, kind person, and she always had a positive attitude.  She eventually found a guy who is very "Normal" looking.  But... I also knew a couple "Hot" girls who were on the easy side, and had a poor attitude, and always want to know why they can't keep a relationship for more than a few months.  One of those girls lives local to me... and even 20 years out of college... she still has the same issue. (but now she's single and has 3 kids) She has a good figure, and goes to the gym... but that alone won't keep a relationship alive.

So... what am I saying here?  If you project desperation, unhappiness, or any other negative emotions... then it doesn't matter what you look like... you will not find someone.  You need to find happiness with yourself, and you will find people who are happy to be with you.

Edited March 15, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[Cookiesandough]

But gremlin face actually sounds kind of cute ?
 

I agree it’s about your attitude, OP 

[simpycurious]

Exactly Blind....OP you gotta be confident and have what we call a little "swag" about yourself.  Portray yourself in a positive way instead of a negative way. 

Don't be a "debbie downer" cause guys pick up on that quickly.  I gravitate towards more athletic and fit ladies who carry themselves with an air of confidence

but if they are negative and have a bad attitude I don't care how attractive they are. 

[Blind-Sided]

33 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

But gremlin face actually sounds kind of cute ?
 

I agree it’s about your attitude, OP 

It really wasn't.  LOL.  Since she was heavier... her face was big.  But she had a little pointed nose, and a small mouth, and kid sized teeth.  It was kind of strange.  Her sister was totally "Normal" looking, and tall... and had a good figure. Don't get m wrong... She was in my friends group... and we hung out all the time.  I honestly enjoyed her company because she was uplifting.

OP... I have another thought on that.  You know that a yawn is contagious... right?  Attitude is also. It's a subconscious thing. I've dated big girls who were happy, and bubbly... and I liked being around them.  Why you may ask??   Because being with happy people, makes me happy !!!!  (the majority of my female friends fall into this category, and they are happily married)  But one of the first girls I was introduced to after my divorce was final, was a supper cute redhead, with a smoking hot figure.  BUT... she was a sad sack, and things were never good enough.  I only had to be around her twice before I told my friend that I wasn't interested. (this was a group outing/set-up)

Anyway... people don't want to be around other people who don't give them good feelings.  You may need to seek out counseling to help you become OK with yourself.

Edited March 15, 2020 by Blind-Sided

[stillafool]

You said in a previous thread that you like guys who are more feminine since you are more on the masculine side.  Maybe that is the problem.  The feminine guys you  like want to be chased and masculine guys who normally chase girls like feminine women.

[oppositeage26]

23 minutes ago, stillafool said:

You said in a previous thread that you like guys who are more feminine since you are more on the masculine side.  Maybe that is the problem.  The feminine guys you  like want to be chased and masculine guys who normally chase girls like feminine women.

I like all kinds of men the ones I've had any action with were more femme if we're talking sexually they were naturally dom the second one was a bit of both but anyway I don't reaally mind if a man is femme or masculine I don't have a preference

[oppositeage26]

3 hours ago, schlumpy said:

What do your girlfriends say about you? I'm getting a lot of negative attitude from your post that if you are putting that on display may partially be part of your self perceived problem. 

I don't have gfs qhen I did they were virgins like I was.

 

I'm actually the nice type kind of having to be if the only date you ever go on is with someone who called you a man. Or the only the only time you ever had sex with anyone was some crazy guy who was said they wanted you to be their slave and we were different races at that you get it if I was negative I would have never gone on a date and I'd have never had sex and I'm 26. I had to put up with a lot. But my problem just was what someone brought up last night at work where some women cant walk into a relationship irl. I can't. I still would be untouchable if it weren't for the internet. That's pretty lame. I'd be definitely worst than that chick that killed herself on tv at least she got dates. I never have gotten anything. I just got a little sad about the thought last night that I can't get guys irl. I can only go online and even that is rough

[oppositeage26]

3 hours ago, Blind-Sided said:

@schlumpy is right.

I know anything I say really won't help... but... I knew this girl in collage who was short... very round, and had a strange gremlin face.  BUT... she was a nice, kind person, and she always had a positive attitude.  She eventually found a guy who is very "Normal" looking.  But... I also knew a couple "Hot" girls who were on the easy side, and had a poor attitude, and always want to know why they can't keep a relationship for more than a few months.  One of those girls lives local to me... and even 20 years out of college... she still has the same issue. (but now she's single and has 3 kids) She has a good figure, and goes to the gym... but that alone won't keep a relationship alive.

So... what am I saying here?  If you project desperation, unhappiness, or any other negative emotions... then it doesn't matter what you look like... you will not find someone.  You need to find happiness with yourself, and you will find people who are happy to be with you.

people usually think I'm nice. It's not like that lol shes been in a relationship thats why shes got 3 kids i never get approached by men. when I say that get dates to get dick I have had to go online. Guys irl well they don''t give me a chance that's my problem they gave her a chance enough to get to know her guys don't give me a chance. But I think it's just humans don't really like me. But men have actually been more partial to me than women that's because of my looks. Because I'm a very shy person at heart.

[smackie9]

You are self loathing, and that usually means it stems from your childhood. Children believe what they hear so it wouldn't surprise me that a parent, siblings or other kids told you, you were ugly or funny looking, generally picked on, hated. Now you take that message through out your life which can lead to depression, self loathing, low self esteem, poor choices, self destructive behavior, negativity. It puts you in isolation, resentment and no prospect of having a normal relationship with anyone whether it be romantic or friendship. I'm sure in the other threads a suggestion of therapy/counseling is needed in order to really help you. If you can't afford it or are too afraid to make that step as of yet, most on here would be happy to help you through private messaging.

[oppositeage26]

1 hour ago, simpycurious said:

Exactly Blind....OP you gotta be confident and have what we call a little "swag" about yourself.  Portray yourself in a positive way instead of a negative way. 

Don't be a "debbie downer" cause guys pick up on that quickly.  I gravitate towards more athletic and fit ladies who carry themselves with an air of confidence

but if they are negative and have a bad attitude I don't care how attractive they are. 

yeah I'm not negative lol when I chase guys I call them beautiful matter of fact I just did. If that's negative there is no positive. I literally start off calling guys I'm attracted to beautiful reason why I have had results is because I'm never negative. I'm not even negative to guys I don't like that message me. That's not my approach but of course I'm not going to be happy while making op because of how things haven't worked out for me. Now when I see guys irl I just think well it's good I'm never going to have a shot anyway. I'm just saying irl I don't have luck and that was what the topic was.

[sothereiwas]

8 hours ago, oppositeage26 said:

I think of my body I'm super skinny with huge boobs

If you can't get laid, you're not hanging out with any guys I've ever known. 

[oppositeage26]

7 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

You are self loathing, and that usually means it stems from your childhood. Children believe what they hear so it wouldn't surprise me that a parent, siblings or other kids told you, you were ugly or funny looking, generally picked on, hated. Now you take that message through out your life which can lead to depression, self loathing, low self esteem, poor choices, self destructive behavior, negativity. It puts you in isolation, resentment and no prospect of having a normal relationship with anyone whether it be romantic or friendship. I'm sure in the other threads a suggestion of therapy/counseling is needed in order to really help you. If you can't afford it or are too afraid to make that step as of yet, most on here would be happy to help you through private messaging.

as far as beauty with men I don't feel lacking there I like looking at my face in the mirror it's rather pretty imo I thought that since I was 3. And if he doesn't like my face I have a nice body that is probably killing me but he can enjoy it all the same I am the type who could shave and walk outside nude I wouldn't mind. I don't have physical insecurities in my body or even face. I like foundation for skin imperfection I don't really need it though. But yeah I don't feel unattractive at all. And I have gotten the response that I was more attractive than the next chick who's approaching a guy. I am shy but shy because guys have over the years I tried irl they didn't like it. Plus when I like men it's a deep thing.I never really liked talking about my issue with men there they would assume men would be all around me,

 

 

I need to go back to therapy that is truth there I haven't gone in a bit. 

[sothereiwas]

9 minutes ago, oppositeage26 said:

I have a nice body that is probably killing me

What does that mean?

[oppositeage26]

Just now, sothereiwas said:

What does that mean?

I just worry about getting breasts cancer since it's in my family

[smackie9]

What would the therapist advice then? and did any of these sessions help at all?

[oppositeage26]

2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

What would the therapist advice then? and did any of these sessions help at all?

one therapists assumed I'd have a lot of guys I'd be involved with when I was only 18. One therapist was weirded out that I never had sex. One I lied about never having sex because I have always had the issue where people look at me and expected me to have been involved with guys. So I stopped going. Then they try to blame me for it. I haven't been back to therapy since I have dated or had sex for that matter

[smackie9]

Let me guess both therapists were men? I can't see any of them being certified. Therapists don't "assume" or "get weirded out". That's very unprofessional. Maybe you are on the spectrum? You have Asperger Syndrome by any chance?

[oppositeage26]

2 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Let me guess both therapists were men? I can't see any of them being certified. Therapists don't "assume" or "get weirded out". That's very unprofessional. Maybe you are on the spectrum? You have Asperger Syndrome by any chance?

no I like human interaction to people who are receptive they call me friendly. I've been friendly since I was 5

[oppositeage26]

4 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

Let me guess both therapists were men? I can't see any of them being certified. Therapists don't "assume" or "get weirded out". That's very unprofessional. Maybe you are on the spectrum? You have Asperger Syndrome by any chance?

the one I told was a guy went to him once the other one when I was 18 was a female I think she was certified

[smackie9]

No Asbergers can also mean you have trouble understanding peoples reactions/social cues, which leads to misconception of what message they are trying to relay to you. Like a guy smiling at you, you don't know if it's a smile of romantic interest or he is being just friendly.

 

Anyways if you want change, you have to change yourself. Whatever is going on with you, obviously we are hitting a wall and can't help. Trying a new therapist might be the key to help with your change in your perception of life and people. I don't think you give things enough of a chance to see a difference....you give up too quickly. Is it fear?

Edited March 15, 2020 by smackie9

[oppositeage26]

6 minutes ago, smackie9 said:

No Asbergers can also mean you have trouble understanding peoples reactions/social cues, which leads to misconception of what message they are trying to relay to you. Like a guy smiling at you, you don't know if it's a smile of romantic interest or he is being just friendly.

 

Anyways if you want change, you have to change yourself. Whatever is going on with you, obviously we are hitting a wall and can't help. Trying a new therapist might be the key to help with your change in your perception of life.

ehh I wouldn't approach someone who just smiled at me I don't do that I am too nervous for that

 

yea I need to go back to a new t I agree

[oppositeage26]

11 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

The thing is, no one here knows you. We can't really tell you why you are having these problems without actually meeting and getting to know you. I can say this though, if you are a thin girl with big boobs and a pretty face, men should be all over you. Since they are not, there is obviously something else going on that we don't know about. That's why everyone keeps saying you seem negative, that's all we have to go on. You might be able to get some constructive help from a friend though. 

but that's the thing people who know me say the same thing.  That I should. And every now and then there's a person who would pick up that I was a v by my shy kind of innocent nature. But that's the thing sometimes I think maybe guys think of me that way. I wonder if I still seems that way. Maybe I just seem too innocent to get any from men in real life idk

Edited March 15, 2020 by oppositeage26

[elaine567]

In your last thread you said that men tend to mistake you for a "whore" or a prostitute.
That is not normal, why would they do that?
The way you dress?
The way you act?
Maybe you need a complete revamp of your style.