I feel so unworthy. With men. Like nothing ever really matters?

[Cookiesandough]

4 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

sure, but the average guy is broke, many guys are in their 30s and 40s living with mom and pop or renting a room with 10 other guys in NYC.

  It's not like the average guy is a Harvard graduate with a daddy to help him craft the connections to be making 1 million per year after taxes, and how many young women are going to be with an older average-looking man who ain't got nothing to offer $$$?

I met a lot of average-looking rich Greek men in their 30s and 40s married to early to mid 20s women.  I'm not really seeing this happen were they middle-class.

Now, like I said. If the guy got money he can get himself a younger wife, even when he's much older. I know a guy who is 5'5'', overweight, bald, in his 50s, got yellowed-out teeth, and his wife is 21, 5'10'' 140lbs with most of that weight on her legs, hips, and rear-end, with none on her stomach,  very pretty, and very sweet.

But he makes 4M a year after taxes.  And I know guys who are smoking hot whom women don't want to marry because they are more broke than the Greek economy back in 2008.

My dad was super good looking in his youth (everyone tells me)  and him and his friends have told me stories of rich guys whose wives like that he slept with. One came out with a shotgun lol 

Edited March 16, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[simpycurious]

3 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

sure, but the average guy is broke, many guys are in their 30s and 40s living with mom and pop or renting a room with 10 other guys in NYC.

  It's not like the average guy is a Harvard graduate with a daddy to help him craft the connections to be making 1 million per year after taxes, and how many young women are going to be with an older average-looking man who ain't got nothing to offer $$$?

I met a lot of average-looking rich Greek men in their 30s and 40s married to early to mid 20s women.  I'm not really seeing this happen were they middle-class.

Now, like I said. If the guy got money he can get himself a younger wife, even when he's much older. I know a guy who is 5'5'', overweight, bald, in his 50s, got yellowed-out teeth, and his wife is 21, 5'10'' 140lbs with most of that weight on her legs, hips, and rear-end, with none on her stomach,  very pretty, and very sweet.

But he makes 4M a year after taxes.  And I know guys who are smoking hot whom women don't want to marry because they are more broke than the Greek economy back in 2008.

LOL....there are PLENTY of guys in their 20s and 30s who are far from broke and are not bad looking.  You are generalizing WAY TOO MUCH.  

[Azincourt]

4 minutes ago, sothereiwas said:

That makes it easier for the rest of us I guess. 

Also, is this really the new average? Because that's pathetic. The young guys I work with are high achieving go-getters who are earning well. 

Depends on the generation. I'm an older millennial.

Most guys in my age group(30s+) have either failed to go to college and are working dead-end jobs in retail, in the food etc, or they're guys who've gone to college for soft degrees like Archeology, History, Art History, Languages and translation, journalism, theather degrees, which, frankly, put you in close proximity with very attractive women, but when those women reach their 30s - they are not exactly going to marry a guy just because he has green eyes or because his parents spent thousands of dollars giving the dude that Hollywood, smile, no?

These guys are living with their parents, whereas some guys take the opportunity to save money to put a down payment on a house to move out, many are just chilling paying video games and going to the club to meet women, as there are many men who become addicted to the hook-up culture and don't want to leave it(Failure to Launch) with that blonde surfer guy, Mathew-something?

Being attractive ain't paying the kid's braces, his kindergarden fees, his schooling, his doctor, his clothes, and you're gonna be paying a fair share off your monthly wages if you want your kid to practice sports and have a shot and becoming the next Cristiano Ronaldo.

Edited March 16, 2020 by Azincourt

[sothereiwas]

2 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

My dad was super good looking in his youth

I had a lot of attention when young, heck, one very attractive 30-something woman told me I was "like a Greek god" while I was walking with some friends and she was also walking with some friends. Youth brings health and beauty. It doesn't often last. I met my wife when she was in her early 20s and I was a little over 2x her age; she's not with me for my looks, although she very kindly insists I'm handsome. So sweet of her. 

Sometimes people click, but if marriage and kids are going to be on the menu, it's good to try and get clicking while kids are still advisable. Just my opinion. 

[Cookiesandough]

>being attractive won’t pay for kid’s braces 

It won’t, but a lot of women will support an attractive guy. And attractive guys are the first to get laid on dating apps and in bars etc. girls throw the p at them 

Edited March 16, 2020 by Cookiesandough

[Azincourt]

4 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

LOL....there are PLENTY of guys in their 20s and 30s who are far from broke and are not bad looking.  You are generalizing WAY TOO MUCH.  

Around the world, sure? There are. But in the Anglo-Saxon nations ain't that many, or there wouldn't be so many women who are just giving up on the marriage-children dream pipe and dedicating themselves to their careers, and in Countries that were hit by the catastrophical 2008 recession, like Spain, Italy,  Portugal? Millions upon millions of men don't have that much of a chance of getting their dream wife, or any at all, if we're going to go by the conviction that women in general don't want broke men to marry.

Great time for attractive Greek/Italian/Spanish/Portuguese men to get laid. Terrible time for those who want a family and can't afford it.

[simpycurious]

1 minute ago, Cookiesandough said:

It’s not, but a lot of women will support an attractive guy. And attractive guys are the first to get laid on dating apps and in bars etc. girls throw the p at them 

What about an attractive that has money supporting an attractive woman that he ACTUALLY REALLY LIKES?  Is that OK ?

[simpycurious]

1 minute ago, Azincourt said:

Around the world, sure? There are. But in the Anglo-Saxon nations ain't that many, or there wouldn't be so many women who are just giving up on the marriage-children dream pipe and dedicating themselves to their careers, and in Countries that were hit by the catastrophical 2008 recession, like Spain, Italy,  Portugal? Millions upon millions of men don't have that much of a chance of getting their dream wife, or any at all, if we're going to go by the conviction that women in general don't want broke men to marry.

Great time for attractive Greek/Italian/Spanish/Portuguese men to get laid. Terrible time for those who want a family and can't afford it.

Not sure where you live but in my area there seems to be plenty on both sides.

[Cookiesandough]

Just now, Azincourt said:

Around the world, sure? There are. But in the Anglo-Saxon nations ain't that many, or there wouldn't be so many women who are just giving up on the marriage-children dream pipe and dedicating themselves to their careers, and in Countries that were hit by the catastrophical 2008 recession, like Spain, Italy,  Portugal? Millions upon millions of men don't have that much of a chance of getting their dream wife, or any at all, if we're going to go by the conviction that women in general don't want broke men to marry.

Great time for attractive Greek/Italian/Spanish/Portuguese men to get laid. Terrible time for those who want a family and can't afford it.

Make a [believable]profile with a super good looking guy on tinder then watch the P roll in.... message the girls and say inane stuff ... you ll see how tipped the scales are. I witness it with girls I know all the time., if he’s good looking with even a little drip  , it’s so easy for him to get the cake 

[Cookiesandough]

2 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

What about an attractive that has money supporting an attractive woman that he ACTUALLY REALLY LIKES?  Is that OK ?

It’s great!!! 😊

[simpycurious]

Just now, Cookiesandough said:

It’s great!!! 😊

Are you sure?  As in positive?  No reservations?

[Azincourt]

7 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

 

 

7 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

>being attractive won’t pay for kid’s braces 

It won’t, but a lot of women will support an attractive guy. And attractive guys are the first to get laid on dating apps and in bars etc. girls throw the p at them 

 

Yeah, but they also throw it at every other attractive guy.

Drama, diseases, and women like that come with a host of emotional and mental problems.  Not worth it. I know guys who are financially supported by their girlfriends. There's a 50 year old player in my parents building who hasn't worked a job in the last 30 years. He hooked up with an older woman and she supports him, but who wants to ask his girlfriend or wife money for new clothes or car money to go to the beach?

That guy apparently.

And he got lucky, I guess.  He could've easily been dumped and then what? What work experience does he have? He gives good oral? He's gonna put that on his CV?

Edited March 16, 2020 by Azincourt

[Azincourt]

9 minutes ago, simpycurious said:

Not sure where you live but in my area there seems to be plenty on both sides.

I lived in Santa Monica,  Tokyo(lots of bar-host male prostitutes getting supported by wannabe-girlfriends) Athens, Barcelona, Lisbon, London, lived in Iran, lived in Africa going around, lived in Brazil -  and met a lot of men. Granted, I ain't hanging out at  Oxford's cantina, but met enough men from many different cultures and Countries to figure out that women and men are hurting around the world.

Quote

Make a [believable]profile with a super good looking guy on tinder then watch the P roll in.... message the girls and say inane stuff ... you ll see how tipped the scales are. I witness it with girls I know all the time., if he’s good looking with even a little drip  , it’s so easy for him to get the cake 

 

Yes, I know.

1) you have no assurance the sex is going to be any good.

2) You don't know if she is a host to STDS, and condoms aren't exactly 100% perfect.

3) the condom can rip and you are so into it you don't even notice. She can get pregnant.  Children cost about 250k+ to raise to adulthood, not even talking about places like NYC or LA. You know what 250k gets you? A house beach in Spain.

4) What if she's crazy? What if messes up your life?

5) What if she got psycho ex-boyfriends who learn about you?

Many guys get burned out from the whole casual sex. It's fun when you're 18-21 but then you start caring more about forging an emotional connection.

Edited March 16, 2020 by Azincourt

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, simpycurious said:

By reading some of your posts one things is clear about your statement above.  You were in NO WAY an accident but more likely

a true gift to your Mom. 

And, have you seen her picture?  This girl is gorgeous.

[Azincourt]

All she needs to do is to work on her self-esteem and on the way she sees herself. Hard work, but very worthwile in the long run.

[Cookiesandough]

Awww shucks, you guys. Stahhhp. I’m alright.. But thank you  

 

@azincourt maybe so , but couldn’t that also be beneficial in looking for an LTR? I know very few good looking guys with swagger that are hurting for gfs even if they aren’t the richest guys. 

 

That being said neither looks nor  money is  the main factor for me

[stillafool]

2 hours ago, Cookiesandough said:

I see.  To begin with I am not completely white either, but I was not trying to marginalize what you may have experienced with racism or say that you haven’t experienced it etc. I was just saying that there are a few signs of irrational thinking in your posts. Like “all  white people are racist, so that is why I am having trouble finding a dating partner” That cannot be true. Also that you are too beautiful and have boobs too big and that is why everyone thinks you’re a prostitute and you can’t get laid. This stuff just doesn’t make sense at all. That’s all I meant. So I was suggesting a therapist to work through these problems and also your feelings about them, like the prejudice you feel you’re experiencing. That’s all. I am sorry if was taken wrong. Hope it works out for you 

Opposite I have to agree with this.  TBH, every Biracial girl I know is having her door beat down by guys who want to date her.  It doesn't make sense that a pretty young girl, who has a skinny body but big boobs, who just happens to be innocent and biracial can't get a man.  Biracial or not you can put that description to any race woman and she will get a man quickly.

[Azincourt]

11 minutes ago, Cookiesandough said:

@azincourt maybe so , but couldn’t that also be beneficial in looking for an LTR? I know very few good looking guys with swagger that are hurting for gfs even if they aren’t the richest guys. 

 

What could be beneficial in looking for a LTR?  having a healthy sense of self-worth and high self-esteem?

Yeah. It's grand both on a personal level, with how you feel about yourself,  and also where it concerns relationships.

Date the men you want to date. Date who want you as much as you want them. That's how you lay down the grounds for a great relationship. Doesn't matter how hot or rich or not the man is, as long as you are into him as much as he is into you. Although honestly, I feel that you should date a man as attractive as you are, because you are gorgeous and I'm partial to beauty, as I spent all of my life chasing after it in all it's mediums of being.

But I'm not you. I'm not your brother and I'm not your father, and even if I was one of them, I'd still have no right in telling you who you should date. That decision is up to you, lady. And only you can make that decision.

 

Quote

 

That being said neither looks nor  money is  the main factor for me

And even if looks or money were a main factor for you that'd still entirely be your right. I dated a girl back when I was 21 who made me chase after her like the Spaniards after the Fountain of Youth. And I had never pursued a woman, never did after that. She was a skinny little thing who would annoy me by telling me about x and y guy who wanted her, and she made me work hard for it,   and to me she was hotter than any model that I cross path with in my day to day life.

Edited March 16, 2020 by Azincourt

[SincereOnlineGuy]

2 hours ago, oppositeage26 said:

there are too many posts I can't respond to everyone just putting that out there

 

THE ABOVE should apply to your social calendar.

 

I can't even figure out the core of the problem here after 5 pages of this thread.

 

The moderator seemingly edited the first post, making "paragraphs", and that did exactly nothing to help convey the core concern.

 

IF the posts had been more clear, to this point, would the case be that you are physically striking, and considerably imposing (perhaps even through zero 'fault' of your own) SUCH that men won't even dare to take interest in you socially?

 

And that when coupled with your "shy"-natured personality, you are at an impasse in terms of how to connect romantically with anyone?

 

Not only that (limitation), but those you find attractive  likely need to be cut from a certain cloth way up in your stratosphere in terms of physical appeal...  such that you are effectively bumping your head on the ceiling of the upper limits to how attractive men can get (and not knowing large numbers of prospects for that reason on top of others).

OF COURSE men like that have women crawling all over them too, so they would have little time to reach out toward you, because your shy nature is in the way to keep you from (at least meeting those men halfway (between yourself and where they are) )   (** that is NOT an actual reference to distance).

 

Is THAT the right summation of the 'problem' you feel ??

 

IF that is the case...   it really IS more of a 'barrier' than most of us 'commoners' can see and appreciate.

 

And while we ALL feel great promise in terms of your likelihood of being strongly desired by many IF ONLY you can find the easiest ways to put/shove yourself out there,  you will still need to ***trick yourself***  past your own barriers and limitations.

 

IF I have it right so far...    why don't you find something you're (sincerely, genuinely) interested in... and go sign up for a class on that subject?

(like, an evening class at the local college...  learning about...  some computer skill...    or whatever YOU like...)

Go there with the central intention of learning about the subject, to help some random area of your life, or your entertainment.

 

IN that class, or nearby after class, may just randomly BE somebody who both notices your obvious external appeal  AND now has enough in common with you (at the class you share) to strike up a conversation and sorta figure out that you are limited by you shyness... and he might then be inspired to (keep learning about you).

 

(sound of me running away from this thread with very little idea whether I  have accurately understood the problem as you sense it)

 

 

 

[preraph]

If you think they're racist why do you want to date them? 

[Azincourt]

Maybe she feels lonely. If she's gone that many years without positive attention from the opposite sex, it might have made her develop the attitude of ''any attention is better than no attention.''

 

[oppositeage26]

7 hours ago, Azincourt said:

Maybe she feels lonely. If she's gone that many years without positive attention from the opposite sex, it might have made her develop the attitude of ''any attention is better than no attention.''

 

I used to have standards but when you aren't given many option you take what you can

[Whynot00]

On 3/15/2020 at 3:34 AM, oppositeage26 said:

Maybe it's better to feel ugly then to feel more attractive than the next chick but be totally ignored. You get men telling you guys should be all over you you get angry women but you waste your youth alone isolated.

Irl I'm so damn untouchable. No guy will ever be with me irl. I used to be in so pain about it. But now it just causes anger.

I have to work hard a year and a half trying to lose my virginity online getting crapped on by guys and treated poorly, I mean I feel accomplished but it does bother me that the only action I've gotten with guys online I chased and told I wanted to have sex with them. I never been approached.

I think of my body I'm super skinny with huge boobs and I think what good was it than an overweight women or small with no curves? I just am shaped this way just to die. Not to attract anything but depression and death. Since I looked up I am genetically prone for cancer. I just feel like I got a dumbass guy to look at me he will never do anything about it.

I can't get that appreciation from men that women get. And I just was looking at this celebrity who I always considered around my age who's in her 30's and was seeing how much she aged. I feel like if I did live well my youth is gone and what's left of my young looks will be gone soon and I just feel so bitter.

Sometimes I just hate men because they're too dumb to really read me. Yeah I'm just mean but you haven't even said hi to me. Yeah there are tons of men around me. Do you see them following me? Do you see them chasing me? It's just so tiring.

Andshame on me for being desperate after 20 plus years of neglect but every now and then a woman wants to be treated like other women. At the end of the day maybe I wasn't meant for being with a man. Maybe. Somehow. But when guys talk about relationship I just get so mad.

I was at work and someone was talking about approachability and it made me almost cry by not that badly as I usually do I only teared up. But I am just tired. I don't need to be pretty really. There was never any point or purpose

On 3/15/2020 at 3:34 AM, oppositeage26 said:

Maybe it's better to feel ugly then to feel more attractive than the next chick but be totally ignored. You get men telling you guys should be all over you you get angry women but you waste your youth alone isolated.

Irl I'm so damn untouchable. No guy will ever be with me irl. I used to be in so pain about it. But now it just causes anger.

I have to work hard a year and a half trying to lose my virginity online getting crapped on by guys and treated poorly, I mean I feel accomplished but it does bother me that the only action I've gotten with guys online I chased and told I wanted to have sex with them. I never been approached.

I think of my body I'm super skinny with huge boobs and I think what good was it than an overweight women or small with no curves? I just am shaped this way just to die. Not to attract anything but depression and death. Since I looked up I am genetically prone for cancer. I just feel like I got a dumbass guy to look at me he will never do anything about it.

I can't get that appreciation from men that women get. And I just was looking at this celebrity who I always considered around my age who's in her 30's and was seeing how much she aged. I feel like if I did live well my youth is gone and what's left of my young looks will be gone soon and I just feel so bitter.

Sometimes I just hate men because they're too dumb to really read me. Yeah I'm just mean but you haven't even said hi to me. Yeah there are tons of men around me. Do you see them following me? Do you see them chasing me? It's just so tiring.

Andshame on me for being desperate after 20 plus years of neglect but every now and then a woman wants to be treated like other women. At the end of the day maybe I wasn't meant for being with a man. Maybe. Somehow. But when guys talk about relationship I just get so mad.

I was at work and someone was talking about approachability and it made me almost cry by not that badly as I usually do I only teared up. But I am just tired. I don't need to be pretty really. There was never any point or purpose

This sounds horrible! Im sorry you've only met morons who won't appreciate you both inside and out!

[Azincourt]

On 3/17/2020 at 6:30 AM, oppositeage26 said:

I used to have standards but when you aren't given many option you take what you can

That's how Mankind has been operating since the apperance of the first modern Homo Sapiens Sapiens man and woman, 300.000 years BP, bro.  There's nothing wrong with getting what is offered. I'd be thrilled to sleep with Selena Gomez but that ain't gonna happen, so I go on with my life.

[nospam99]

Natalie Portman for me .... but that's an old, sad story