The Outlaw Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 (edited) 40 minutes ago, Realitysux said: How is that simple? You can't just move on and stop thinking about an obsession that easily. It takes a lot more work and time when your dealing with obsessions then normal feelings when dating. It takes a lot more encouragement and support too and not everyone who struggled with an obsession is bad or dangerous. He did say he would leave her alone but he needs to be able to let her go and stop being affected by the obsessions. He needs to take adjust his way of thinking about this women. Because I was there before a lifetime ago. Most have. And at the end of the day the best decision I ever made was to just move because she likely didn't feel the same way just as he will. And of course it isn't easy. But the sooner that any of us just walk away from someone that just doesn't feel the same way, we'll be the better for it no matter how painful it will be. Trust me on that. Edited March 24, 2020 by The Outlaw 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 6 minutes ago, The Outlaw said: Because was there before a lifetime ago. Most have. And at the end of the day the best decision I ever made was to just move because she likely didn't feel the same way just as he will. And of course it isn't easy. But the sooner that any of us just walk away from someone that just doesn't feel the same way, we'll be the better for it no matter how painful it will be. Trust me on that. Oh I believe you and that's why I am here! Trying to move on too. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 Just now, Realitysux said: Oh I believe you and that's why I am here! Trying to move on too. Good on you. And you can. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vulture Posted April 2, 2020 Author Share Posted April 2, 2020 Thank you for the responses that are sympathetic. I always thought of myself as immune to the romance fever, falling in love and all the "feminine" sh..., but it happens. The only comfort I take in this whole thing is that I cannot contact the lady no matter how much I struggle to forget. I pray and I toil but realize the more I ask to forget, the more I remember. There is a little voice deep inside that wants to call her and cry-don't blame me, I was raised as only son amongst five girls by single mom in a rough neighbourhood in tough times, I grew up physically and mentally defending my mom and sisters and their honour-so I may have a tendency to want to do that kind of thing. This love thing something I never ever want to experience again. I was ok with other problems and sex with no strings attached, I didn't even have to memorise names of the individuals with whom I had encounters. Now I am simply convinced that there is no such thing as love/ real love or whatever it is construed to be, my lifelong suspicions were right. I am also tired of the old cycle of chasing down women just for the old sex, everything you do is centered around it. like going to the gym, get nice body to get women, get good paying job, to get women etc. the vicious cycle of getting numbers and building a rotation of several women just for sex, there is no meaningful anything. I have decided to stick it out alone, even leave the dongle alone like he is corona. I just do not know for the hell of me how to get this person out of my mind-I tell myself it will take time, but a minute is also agony-and anyone who tells me to go to the gym to get my mind off of her-please pack up and go to the hell...… She should be paying rent for usage of my mind space and time. I want to carefully insert another nagging thing, since three years ago I started noticing what they call synchronicities with repeating or flowing numbers. The background is a rather long story. I always thought my mind was slipping or locking up or creating things because of problems I was facing. It is not possible that these are apophenia or some kind of mental escapism. It got most regular around the time I met this lady then I started to see another number at the time. Now when I see this number it reminds me of her. I know many of us will say ok-time for therapy. I am well aware or somewhat aware of myself and the situation-so no panic there. I just want to ask is there someone else experiencing this. I am praying that God gives me revelation as to what it means. Please be gentle with the trolling-I need serious and considerate conversation. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, vulture said: I am also tired of the old cycle of chasing down women just for the old sex, everything you do is centered around it. like going to the gym, get nice body to get women, get good paying job, to get women etc. the vicious cycle of getting numbers and building a rotation of several women just for sex, there is no meaningful anything. Maybe it’s something to talk to a therapist about. Edited April 2, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 On 3/18/2020 at 10:15 PM, vulture said: Where I come from the norm is to court a woman for as long as she can resist, even longer than a year, it is normal that she acts totally uninterested or hard to get. She is supposed to tell me off even very rudely and I must continue despite all this. The culture of asking her out or going on dates is a fairly "western thing", relatively new here. You buy her something of value instead, and when she finally gives in its straight to the bedroom. Ok, so what is the problem? If this is your culture then why are you giving up? Assuming of course this woman is from the same culture and knows the score. Link to post Share on other sites
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