How to do this?

[ZA Dater]

6 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

3 minutes ago, Sinful said:

And I read your dialog and honestly the convo just comes off as bland and boring. In the second convo the girl even started in giving you the opportunity to drive the convo to something more interesting and sensual and you still steered away from it.

 

Don't find her attractive at all so yes I deliberately steered away from it.

[Sinful]

1 minute ago, ZA Dater said:

Don't find her attractive at all so yes I deliberately steered away from it.

Now you're making no sense. You complain about not being able to get anywhere with these girls. Then you post examples of your convos for us to see, and you yourself even admit you're making things boring. And if you're not interested in the girl then why even bother responding? I've tried to help you, but no one can help you if you don't even want to help yourself.

[ZA Dater]

22 minutes ago, SumGuy said:

"interesting offers"...I've found to be code for ask me out and flirt with me...and the very opposite of rejection if one plays their cards right.

Hate to say it, she can't read your mind about what or what does not do it for you to take her out.  She gave you the opening  and hint to ask her out.  It really shouldn't be about taking her out so much as meeting her.  If you need to feel the potential for intellectual connection first before asking her out select profiles that suggest that and ask questions that will get to that.

Intellectual connection is paramount to me and I don't leave it to chance.

On the not really doing humor, I'm coming from a different world.  Humor is a big part of it for me, but I do do serious as well.

You can be serious without being transnational, there are serious minded women who don't like small talk, and prefer a more in depth and informed conversation.  Being a stoic kind of guy can work.  

Interesting offers to me means she has loads of guys and will pick the most interesting one, not interested in that at all. Again I not that interested in either of these people because well I know the outcome already so unless there is some fantastic reason to meet them I cant be bothered. I am just far too bruised from prior encounters to waste time on people who I know wont do it for me at all.

Yet when I very rarely find people who do, well it falls apart anyway so honestly its tough to see what is in this for me. See this is the other issue, I cannot move past the disappointments of past, where I met people I really did like and simply got nowhere, these have mounted up and its not fair to meet people I am only 50/50 about because their time will be wasted too.

[ZA Dater]

1 minute ago, Sinful said:

Now you're making no sense. You complain about not being able to get anywhere with these girls. Then you post examples of your convos for us to see, and you yourself even admit you're making things boring. And if you're not interested in the girl then why even bother responding? I've tried to help you, but no one can help you if you don't even want to help yourself.

Even I need some interaction and sure I might friend zone them until I completely loose interest, again this just being what has been done to me in the past. The point remains the same, I am not matching with people who interest me so I am forcing myself to try be interested in people I have no interest in.

[Sinful]

2 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Even I need some interaction and sure I might friend zone them until I completely loose interest, again this just being what has been done to me in the past. The point remains the same, I am not matching with people who interest me so I am forcing myself to try be interested in people I have no interest in.

That's because you insist on continuing to do the same thing while expecting a different outcome (the very definition of insanity). If you actually took the advice that I or many of the other members on here have given you, I bet you'd be able to meet and attract the type of girl you want.

Or you can keep ignoring us and do the same things you've always done and continue to get the same results, while just becoming more bitter. Your choice.

[ZA Dater]

19 minutes ago, Sinful said:

That's because you insist on continuing to do the same thing while expecting a different outcome (the very definition of insanity). If you actually took the advice that I or many of the other members on here have given you, I bet you'd be able to meet and attract the type of girl you want.

Or you can keep ignoring us and do the same things you've always done and continue to get the same results, while just becoming more bitter. Your choice.

Prey tell how do I get better tinder matches? How when the only thing that matters is looks, the more I say it the more you tell me it's wrong but for me it's a reality. Nobody is picking up dates in book stores or stores. You go to a club, drink, apparently be fun whatever that is and pull the charm out. Oh and you need to be decent looking.

Now you tell me how to do that when you don't do any of those things. Don't tell me what I have to fake, how do I get anywhere being me. 

 

Edited March 20, 2020 by ZA Dater

[Sinful]

4 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

Prey tell how do I get better tinder matches? How? 

Step 1: Get off of Tinder.

Step 2: Answer the question to why, who, or what is preventing you from meeting and interacting with girls in person?

Step 3: Once you've figured out the answer to step 2, then you start training and working on bettering yourself so that you'll be ready to place yourself in opportunities where you can meet and interact with potential mates. 

And don't be afraid to ask for help/advice. But also learn to accept that advice and make an effort to change as opposed to continuing to do the same thing expecting a different result.

 

[elaine567]

15 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

prey tell how do I get better tinder matches? How?

Prey Pray tell...
You get better matches by being more desirable to the women you wish to attract.
You believe you are somehow "better" than the women you attract, but you are not, else they would be beating a path to your door..
Market forces are in play.
Until you accept the person you are is not good enough to attract a better class of woman, and you attempt to change, then you will always attract who you attract.
Do you really think the "best" photo you posted here will attract educated  and intellectual women?

Edited March 20, 2020 by elaine567

[ZA Dater]

7 minutes ago, Sinful said:

Step 1: Get off of Tinder.

Step 2: Answer the question to why, who, or what is preventing you from meeting and interacting with girls in person?

Step 3: Once you've figured out the answer to step 2, then you start training and working on bettering yourself so that you'll be ready to place yourself in opportunities where you can meet and interact with potential mates. 

And don't be afraid to ask for help/advice. But also learn to accept that advice and make an effort to change as opposed to continuing to do the same thing expecting a different result.

 

I am only interested in tinder there are no other options for me. I have zero common ground at all when I do I go all out and fail anyway.

Sure I'd need to club and drink neither interest me nor do music festivals that pretty much covers where people tend to meet people here.

Edited March 20, 2020 by ZA Dater

[ZA Dater]

1 minute ago, elaine567 said:

Prey Pray tell...
You get better matches by being more desirable to the women you wish to attract.
You believe you are somehow "better" than the women you attract, but you are not.
Market forces are in play.
Until you accept the person you are is not good enough to attract a better class of woman, and you attempt to change, then you will always attract who you attract.
Do you really think the "best" photo you posted here will attract educated  and intellectual women?

A slim one would be nice for a change.

[elaine567]

1 minute ago, ZA Dater said:

A slim one would be nice for a change.

You keep saying that, but slimmer women are obviously not seeing you as an option.
You being slim does not obviously entitle you to a slimmer woman, why would it?
Women tend to size up the whole package, and you are losing out to what they perceive as better options is my guess.
 

[Sinful]

6 minutes ago, ZA Dater said:

I am only interested in tinder there are no other options for me. I have zero common ground at all when I do I go all out and fail anyway.

Really, no other options? Why is that? You don't need common ground to get dates. All you need is to create attraction, and also know how to talk and interact with girls without being timid. Confidence. We've said it over and over. It seems to me as though you feel you can't interact with women in person, so you resort to Tinder as your last resort and only hope of ever finding anyone. The real question is WHY do you feel this way?

Is it because you're intimidated by women? Lack of confidence will sink you faster than anything else.   

[Envy123]

On 3/19/2020 at 1:43 PM, ZA Dater said:

You are indeed very fortunate to attract those you find attractive.

I can't say my success was solely due to luck. Behaving the same way very likely yields the same results, as this happened in different environments with people of different demographics.