Counting the days of no contact

[Whatever2345]

23 minutes ago, preraph said:

Because he wants other people to think he can get women. 

It could also be that he just happens to like that photo of himself. I have a lot of photos that I only have up because I like how I look at it not because of who I'm with.

He still has videos of us too

[mtnbiker3000]

My first experience on this site (in 2013) was in this forum and I was HURTING. No contact is the only cure! I finally did reach out in 2017, (I think ) just to say Happy B-Day. Totally uneventful and didn't really have any positive or negative effect. Haven't bothered since...

Stay the course. Although it may take a while, total and complete NC is the way to relief!

[basil67]

I agree that it's usual to delete pictures of those we don't like.   However, not everyone goes about harbouring dislike for their exes.  I'm more likely to feel something closer to neutral.  Not love or fondness....not hate or dislike.  It's an in between place.    And that in between place doesn't need to delete photos.  

 

[preraph]

I don't throw away photos just because someone is an ex. I have photos up of nearly everyone I've ever known still decades later.

 

Just because you don't love someone doesn't mean you go to the ER for extreme of hating them. He may be in different and so the photo wouldn't bother him. He probably just likes to show off any girls he's been able to date to make himself look successful. Same way with videos. People mostly like to look at themselves. They're not going to throw something out just because someone else is in it.

 

You're really grasping at hope herr and that's not healthy. You're the one going to look. You're the one that needs to move on. He doesn't feel the need to do anything extreme to move on.

[Whatever2345]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

I agree that it's usual to delete pictures of those we don't like.   However, not everyone goes about harbouring dislike for their exes.  I'm more likely to feel something closer to neutral.  Not love or fondness....not hate or dislike.  It's an in between place.    And that in between place doesn't need to delete photos.  

 

He also has videos too

[Whatever2345]

1 minute ago, preraph said:

I don't throw away photos just because someone is an ex. I have photos up of nearly everyone I've ever known still decades later.

 

Just because you don't love someone doesn't mean you go to the ER for extreme of hating them. He may be in different and so the photo wouldn't bother him. He probably just likes to show off any girls he's been able to date to make himself look successful. Same way with videos. People mostly like to look at themselves. They're not going to throw something out just because someone else is in it.

 

You're really grasping at hope herr and that's not healthy. You're the one going to look. You're the one that needs to move on. He doesn't feel the need to do anything extreme to move on.

He has videos and everything of us still I have moved on I’m guessing yu did not read what I said. My grandma wanted to see what he looked like in uniform. I have not been on his page in 5 months 😒🙄

[Whatever2345]

12 hours ago, preraph said:

Because he wants other people to think he can get women. 

It could also be that he just happens to like that photo of himself. I have a lot of photos that I only have up because I like how I look at it not because of who I'm with.

s*** makes no sense lol yu weird

[Beachead]

@Whatever2345

He's not in the same emotional place as you.  He was the one who wanted the breakup, he lead the breakup, and he got is his way.  You didn't want it, you were at the mercy of his lead, and you didn't get your way...so he's not upset with you like you are with him.   Do not approach his actions from your position..you won't be able to make any sense of it.  You were the one who got your heart broke.  He did the heart breaking.  It's two different worlds.  

Who knows why he kept the pictures and the videos.  Could be he's not ready to delete them yet.  Maybe he considers them memories.  Maybe he's not over you.  Maybe he's using those photos to make himself more attractive to other women; the kind of women who find guys more attractive if they're surrounded by women and present a challenge.  The point is, you can speculate all you want on it but all you'll ever get for it is assumptions and speculation.  Nothing else.  No answers.   What you need to concentrate on is the fact that it doesn't matter why those photos and videos are still around..he's gone.  He's not with you.  He chose to leave and prioritize other things. 

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He has videos and everything of us still I have moved on

No Whatever2345, you haven't.    You have other threads on LS about this guy, titled 130 days NC and 145 days NC showing you are still counting the days that have passed since you both broke up.  You're still analyzing his actions as you are in this thread.  You're still feeling the temptation to creep his wall.  You're still get worked up over him.  Still feeling that anger and that resentment.   Do not lie to yourself or you're going to be suffering over this longer than you need to.  If you don't acknowledge the realities of how you feel, you won't address them correctly, and you'll just bury it.  And then guess what?  All that pain and hurt will just resurface at some point later..maybe when you're in a new relationship with someone else..and that'll be a big problem for you.   To get over a person, you need to acknowledge you're wounded.  Doesn't matter if its 5 months or more.  Hurt is hurt.   I never told myself i was healed after my ex dropped me because I knew I'd be spitting my own face, doing that.  I was a mess and I'd be a mess for atleast a year.

I strongly suggest you do yourself right and block your ex's social media accounts so that you can no longer see his activity.   You triggered your own anxiety and caused your own storm, doing this and because of that, you've got to spend energy you could have invested on other things in your life, having to work your way through this mess.   Do yourself better than that going forward.

- Beach

 

Edited March 28, 2020 by Beachead

[basil67]

7 hours ago, Whatever2345 said:

He also has videos too

My response remains unchanged.

[Whatever2345]

11 hours ago, Beachead said:

@Whatever2345

He's not in the same emotional place as you.  He was the one who wanted the breakup, he lead the breakup, and he got is his way.  You didn't want it, you were at the mercy of his lead, and you didn't get your way...so he's not upset with you like you are with him.   Do not approach his actions from your position..you won't be able to make any sense of it.  You were the one who got your heart broke.  He did the heart breaking.  It's two different worlds.  

Who knows why he kept the pictures and the videos.  Could be he's not ready to delete them yet.  Maybe he considers them memories.  Maybe he's not over you.  Maybe he's using those photos to make himself more attractive to other women; the kind of women who find guys more attractive if they're surrounded by women and present a challenge.  The point is, you can speculate all you want on it but all you'll ever get for it is assumptions and speculation.  Nothing else.  No answers.   What you need to concentrate on is the fact that it doesn't matter why those photos and videos are still around..he's gone.  He's not with you.  He chose to leave and prioritize other things. 

No Whatever2345, you haven't.    You have other threads on LS about this guy, titled 130 days NC and 145 days NC showing you are still counting the days that have passed since you both broke up.  You're still analyzing his actions as you are in this thread.  You're still feeling the temptation to creep his wall.  You're still get worked up over him.  Still feeling that anger and that resentment.   Do not lie to yourself or you're going to be suffering over this longer than you need to.  If you don't acknowledge the realities of how you feel, you won't address them correctly, and you'll just bury it.  And then guess what?  All that pain and hurt will just resurface at some point later..maybe when you're in a new relationship with someone else..and that'll be a big problem for you.   To get over a person, you need to acknowledge you're wounded.  Doesn't matter if its 5 months or more.  Hurt is hurt.   I never told myself i was healed after my ex dropped me because I knew I'd be spitting my own face, doing that.  I was a mess and I'd be a mess for atleast a year.

I strongly suggest you do yourself right and block your ex's social media accounts so that you can no longer see his activity.   You triggered your own anxiety and caused your own storm, doing this and because of that, you've got to spend energy you could have invested on other things in your life, having to work your way through this mess.   Do yourself better than that going forward.

- Beach

 

I’m actually counting the days so I can look back at this as reference to how strong I was but okay lol

[Beachead]

Earlier you said: 

Quote

He has videos and everything of us still I have moved on..

You haven't.  

Quote

I’m actually counting the days so I can look back at this as reference to how strong I was but okay lol

Whether you're counting the days to see your progress or to see how long its been since the breakup, the point is you're still counting..and that's a sign you haven't moved on.  You will but you're not quite there yet.  I'm bringing that up because part of getting better is being real with yourself.   That's my point.

Regarding No Contact..you should block him on social media to get him out of your sight.   There's nothing on there for you but anxiety and triggers and this false sense of connection that's not really there and access to his life that's a filtered version.  During a time when you're trying to heal, its the worst thing for you.   By removing it, you're confirming to yourself that you're beginning the process of actually letting go and that's crucial for your well-being.  

- Beach

   

Edited March 29, 2020 by Beachead