My sons girlfriend is having sex with my coworkers son ?

[GarciaRosa]

 

Ive been aware after it first happened that shes still cheating with him ( my coworkers younger boy for 3 months now.

They're only 18 and been together for 2 years. 

She was caught by my his mom who got home earlier than usual. She called me to come over to tell me what she saw and found out.

He dosent know this is happening and I don't want to be the bearer of bad news what should I do?

I want to ask her about it but it's very difficult to approach.

Edited March 18, 2020 by GarciaRosa
Misspell

[preraph]

I think since they're only 18, it would be best if you stayed out of it. I wish the other parent hadn't dragged you into it. 18 year olds are not going to be with one person for long and are always going to be messy.  If there was a way to stay out of it, I would. honestly my feeling is that if either parent gets in the middle and starts being the one to tell them what to do, the teenagers will somehow twist it around to be the adults fault because they will want to blame someone else. 

 

You know, when I good friend tell someone their boyfriend or girlfriend is cheating, they usually just get mad at the friend. 

[Marc878]

It will all come out since you were told.

Your son will probably find out you knew. 

Tell your son the truth. If not he’ll look at you with distrust and a form of betrayal. 

You are his mom. What mother would hide this from their own son?

[Azincourt]

6 hours ago, GarciaRosa said:

 

Ive been aware after it first happened that shes still cheating with him ( my coworkers younger boy for 3 months now.

They're only 18 and been together for 2 years. 

She was caught by my his mom who got home earlier than usual. She called me to come over to tell me what she saw and found out.

He dosent know this is happening and I don't want to be the bearer of bad news what should I do?

I want to ask her about it but it's very difficult to approach.

They're both 18. At that age, a committed relationship is rather silly. They should be out there enjoying their lives. Being cheated on is not the end of the world, especially when you're 18.  Tell your kid about it, and then tell him that to not put so much stock into relationships this early in his life, and to just enjoy his youth while he can.

[usa1ah]

You should let your son know he is with a two timing cheating POS. 
 

A girl one of my sons was dating cheated on him. It would be better to come from you then for him to find out from someone at school in a harsh way. Guys can be brutal when it come to hooking up with another guy’s girlfriend. 
 

If for no other reason then to keep your son from getting a STD from this girl. 

Edited March 18, 2020 by usa1ah

[stillafool]

1 hour ago, usa1ah said:

Guys can be brutal when it come to hooking up with another guy’s girlfriend. 

Yeah and it also seems like girls can be brutal when it comes to hooking up with their boyfriends friends. 

OP definitely tell your son so he can get this chick out of his life before he comes down with something even penicillin won't kill.

[stillafool]

18 hours ago, GarciaRosa said:

He dosent know this is happening and I don't want to be the bearer of bad news what should I do?

But you're his Mom.  You are one of the people he trusts the most.  It won't be easy but he must know and then you can comfort him the best you can.

[kendahke]

18 hours ago, GarciaRosa said:

He dosent know this is happening and I don't want to be the bearer of bad news what should I do?

ask the woman who called you and had you come over for some evidence and present it to your son.  You need to tell him.

If he finds out you knew and said nothing, that will do untold damage to your relationship with him.

Let him be mad at you for telling you the truth instead of him loathing you because you kept his cheating ex's lie to yourelf.

[JS84]

 

Quote

If he finds out you knew and said nothing, that will do untold damage to your relationship with him.

This is exactly what I as thinking. My mom would have told me the second she found out.

I know it's an uncomfortable position to be in but you're not doing your son or yourself any favors keeping this to yourself.

[Mystery4u]

You should 100% tell him.

[schlumpy]

This is a tough one. If you tell him, what consequences will be set in motion? Did you get the facts right. What if she isn't cheating. What if get really angry and gets a wreck on the way over the GF's house? What if beats the other guy to death? I'm sure other people can think of other undesirable scenarios but I still feel he needs to know.

You could take him somewhere and tell him there. He may cool down on the way back home.

What if you don't tell him directly but display lots of disapproval about his GF and question her commitment to him? Plant the seed so he is more likely to find out for himself?

I don't know. Too many variables and it could all go wrong.

 

[usa1ah]

If she shows the she doesn’t approve of the relationship it might make him double down on staying in it. 

[stillafool]

I would let the chips fall where they may but I would not withhold vital information from my kid.  He must know what you know and then you can both decide the best way to handle this.  He will need your mature advice.

[oldtruck]

already said, get the person that told the mom to sit down, all three together.
this takes the blame off the mom, provides the truth from the person that knows.

allows the mom to avoid the bearer of bad news title and lets her state that

if he needs advice on how to handle this she is there. so she will not have to

tell her son what he must do, because he will not want to be told what to do

by his mother.

 

the damage that will come down the road when the son finds out years later

that she knew about him being cheated on and did not tell him about it will

permanently damage their relationship.