10 Dating Questions That I Am Curious About

[GuitarGuy7]

Hey everyone, 

I have a bunch of dating questions that I would like answers to. If you know me, then you know that i'm a 25 year old who has no dating experience and would just like some general advice to understand on how dating works a little better. Can you try to answer as many questions as you can so I can understand how dating works better? Thanks. 

1. How can you tell whether or not a woman is interested?

2. Do women have to be initially attracted to you in order to consider dating you or can attraction build over time?  For instance, let's say I talk to a girl who's not initially attracted to me in the hopes that if she gets to know me, she will eventually become attracted to me, is this a good strategy?  Or does a woman know early on whether or not she'd ever date you? 

3. Is it better to ask a girl out right away or be her friend first then ask her out? 

4. Assuming the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, what are the most common reasons why a woman would reject going on a date with you? 

5. If the girl DOES go on a date with you, what are the most common reasons why she would not want to see you again?

6. How important are looks when it comes to a woman choosing a man? 

7. And if you think that looks are important, how do you explain that ugly guys are able to date attractive girls? 

8. Let's say you are in a group that meets regularly and there is a girl in there that you want to ask out. Should you go for it right away and ask her out as soon as possible? Or should you wait? 

9. What is the best way to meet women?  Cold approach? Meeting through friends? Online dating? 

10. If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? 

[Azincourt]

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

1. How can you tell whether or not a woman is interested?

She checks  you out by looking at you from the crown of your head, down your body, ending with your feet. Then she looks at you from your feet up to your head, while smiling. She touches and caresses her neck while looking at you. She plays with her hair while looking at you. She giggles. She can't stop smiling. Her pupils are dilated. She gets closer to you than necessary.

She either approaches you directly by going up to you and saying hi, or she makes it easy for you to approach her.

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

2. Do women have to be initially attracted to you in order to consider dating you or can attraction build over time? 

 

 

Depends on the women.  I usually get approached or they wait for me to approach them, so I'd say they are attracted to me for the get-go. There are have been women than didn't approach me, but who eventually came to ask me out,  as they got to know me, and supposedly developed an attraction for me.

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

 

 

For instance, let's say I talk to a girl who's not initially attracted to me in the hopes that if she gets to know me, she will eventually become attracted to me, is this a good strategy? 

 

 

Nope.  Most guys who do that end in what young men call ''the friendzone.'' That ruins friendships and it will make you untouchable by her female friends, because they will think you are a creep for playing tricks. Go up to women and flirt with them. If they don't flirt back, move on.

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

 

Or does a woman know early on whether or not she'd ever date you? 

 

Some women will want to date you as soon as they lay eyes on you. Some won't be attracted to you at first glance, but as they get to know you, they can develop attraction. Most women aren't the same. What one woman likes isn't the same. I once dated a woman who, at first, had a crush on my mother, but when she got know me better, she developed a crush on me instead.

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

 

 

Ask her out first. Don't bother befriending women you aren't interested in being friends with.

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

 

4. Assuming the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, what are the most common reasons why a woman would reject going on a date with you? 

She's on her period and doesn't want to deal with men.

She's a lesbian and has a girlfriend.

She has a low sex-drive and doesn't see the point in a dating.

She's a gold-digger and you don't look like you can afford her.

She's not sexually attracted to you, so she rejects you.

She just got out of a relationship and doesn't want to get into one so soon.

She's too busy working on her career/schooling to bother with a relationship right now.

She's in a friends with benefits relationship and is either not interested in having a relationship, or she's trying to convert that FWB into a romantic relationship.

 

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

5. If the girl DOES go on a date with you, what are the most common reasons why she would not want to see you again?

 

No chemistry. You two aren't compatible. You were a boring date. She has her eyes on someone else, and he asked her out.

 

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

6. How important are looks when it comes to a woman choosing a man? 

 

Depends on how attractive she is.

If she's conventionally hot, and you are average - your best course of action is to try to get with an average-looking woman.

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

7. And if you think that looks are important, how do you explain that ugly guys are able to date attractive girls? 

 

Just because a woman is beautiful doesn't mean she sees herself that way. Lots of hot women think of themselves as average, even ugly, especially if you happen to be in a place where most of the women are fashion models/actresses.

Lots of ugly guys out there with money, bro. And there are women who gorgeous but are tired of being treated badly by men who are as attractive as they are, so they lower their standards in men.

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

8. Let's say you are in a group that meets regularly and there is a girl in there that you want to ask out. Should you go for it right away and ask her out as soon as possible? Or should you wait? 

 

Ask her out.

 

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

9. What is the best way to meet women?  Cold approach? Meeting through friends? Online dating?

 

Go to the gym, hire a professional trainer, tell him you want Chris Hemsworth body-type, the one he got in the Thor/marvel franchise.

If you are bald or balding : save money for hair transplants.

If you have a weak chin : save money for a chin operation.

Most people meet their significant others through friends. Befriend a lot of people, hang out with them, eventually you'll find someone who is into you.

 

8 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

 

 

10. If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? 

Nightclubs, bars, music festivals, the beach, the mall, tinder, okcupid, plentyoffish etc etc.

workplace relationships can turn sour.

[Ellener]

11 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? 

Interesting, but I think sometimes the 'collateral damage' there isn't apparent after the effect, say if one of you has to initially resign, or ( something I have seen a lot )  the marital break-up preceeding the second marriage and all the broken family heartache and soured friendships caused by the affair. The new couple probably aren't talking much about that.

How many people end up changing jobs because they are later embarrassed or feel they have undermined their 'work image' etc is what we tend to talk about more, or if personnel gets involved in potential harrassment etc.

That's why so many people make it a general rule. But there are exceptions to every rule I guess.

 

[FMW]

1. How can you tell whether or not a woman is interested?

She will consistently pay attention to you, have sustained eye contact while smiling. If she's just being friendly, the smiles/eye contact will be limited and similar to how she interacts with everyone else.  She'll usually find ways to touch your arm (or hand, shoulder, etc) if she's interested.  

2. Do women have to be initially attracted to you in order to consider dating you or can attraction build over time?  For instance, let's say I talk to a girl who's not initially attracted to me in the hopes that if she gets to know me, she will eventually become attracted to me, is this a good strategy?  Or does a woman know early on whether or not she'd ever date you? 

Attraction can often grow over time for a woman, but I think there has to be SOME kind of initial attraction.  But attraction for a woman isn't just about how a guy looks - it's about the general feeling/vibe she gets from him, how he interacts with her and others.  If there's something about you that stands out to her, it's possible her attraction will grow. 

3. Is it better to ask a girl out right away or be her friend first then ask her out? 

You have to go with the moment - if you feel like you have a connection and she's showing interest, just ask her out, no reason to wait.  Alternatively, if you're not clear on the connection or her interest, work on building it first and pay attention to how she's responding to you in general.  But you don't want to be "friends" for to long before making a move or you may miss the window of opportunity and be forever seen by her as just her buddy.

4. Assuming the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, what are the most common reasons why a woman would reject going on a date with you? 

Most often because she's just not interested in a romantic way and doesn't feel any other kind of attraction to think it might grow. 

5. If the girl DOES go on a date with you, what are the most common reasons why she would not want to see you again?

It became clear on the date that she wasn't "feeling it" with you, and/or you said/did something to turn her off.

6. How important are looks when it comes to a woman choosing a man? 

Depends on the woman, but for me personally looks only serve to catch my attention to begin with, there has to be a lot more going on for me to actually be interested in spending time with him.  And I think that's pretty common.  Women are more likely to choose character over looks.  We want someone who will be a reliable, trustworthy and caring partner.

7. And if you think that looks are important, how do you explain that ugly guys are able to date attractive girls? 

"Ugly" is subjective, but as I noted above, looks aren't at the top of the list for me.

8. Let's say you are in a group that meets regularly and there is a girl in there that you want to ask out. Should you go for it right away and ask her out as soon as possible? Or should you wait? 

See number 3.  

9. What is the best way to meet women?  Cold approach? Meeting through friends? Online dating? 

Depends on you and your situation. If you have the opportunities to meet women out spontaneously (cold approach), that's always seemed more desirable to me.  But if you aren't finding those opportunities, or not having luck with that, then see if the other two work for you.   

10. If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? 

Most of us spend most of our time at work, so it's only natural that we will have more chance of meeting/connecting with people there. The problem is that if the relationship crashes and burns you still have to see that person every day and have a professional relationship with them. 

[SumGuy]

1. How can you tell whether or not a woman is interested?

One is never sure...for me it comes down to distance, the light in her eyes, and body language (all in combination).   I really don't think this is some checklist you can have, so you don;t think she did x, y and z and she is interested in me.  OLD makes it so much easier as if they respond to you or message you you know there is at a least initial interest....that and friends setting you up.

2. Do women have to be initially attracted to you in order to consider dating you or can attraction build over time?  For instance, let's say I talk to a girl who's not initially attracted to me in the hopes that if she gets to know me, she will eventually become attracted to me, is this a good strategy?  Or does a woman know early on whether or not she'd ever date you? 

Both occur in my experience.  If just randomly meeting in real life, like a class always spent time getting to know each other first.

3. Is it better to ask a girl out right away or be her friend first then ask her out? 

No one answer.  Random meeting in real life say get some time to know each other, in OLD don't wait more than a week. 

4. Assuming the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, what are the most common reasons why a woman would reject going on a date with you?

I never made  a habit of asking why, seems kind of rude, but assume they are not seeing me that way.  

5. If the girl DOES go on a date with you, what are the most common reasons why she would not want to see you again?

That one is easy for OLD, because not feeling that connection / chemistry.  Luckily it has been mutual so no worries.

6. How important are looks when it comes to a woman choosing a man? 

Not as important as men seem to think in my opinion, but men are just projecting.   On a scale of 1 to 10 I would say women value looks at a 5, not trivial but not running the show.   The thing to understand is there is no one look all women like so to one woman you may be a 5 to another an 8. 

7. And if you think that looks are important, how do you explain that ugly guys are able to date attractive girls? 

True beauty or looks is more than skin deep.

8. Let's say you are in a group that meets regularly and there is a girl in there that you want to ask out. Should you go for it right away and ask her out as soon as possible? Or should you wait? 

Wait.  She is there for the group not to hook up, unless it is a singles mingle, drinks, etc. group then after a few meetings.  Seriously, you ask this a lot.  Can you not put yourself in the girls shoes?  Can you not see they might want to go to a group activity without being hit on and having to turn guys down and worry if some guy  is going to flip on them?

9. What is the best way to meet women?  Cold approach? Meeting through friends? Online dating? 

Have you friends set you up can be best.  Sounds like you are in college so college parties can be great.   But nothing, short of going to decent sized parties every week, beats being able to cast ones net wide like OLD.

10. If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? 

Because that is where most people spend most of their waking hours.  Clearly you have never done this and had it not work out or you wouldn't ask the question.  Invariably when I have seen this work one of the people leaves the company.  Also, even asking someone out at work is a minefield for potential harassment claims and favors for sex claims.

[Foxhall]

20 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

Hey everyone, 

I have a bunch of dating questions that I would like answers to. If you know me, then you know that i'm a 25 year old who has no dating experience and would just like some general advice to understand on how dating works a little better. Can you try to answer as many questions as you can so I can understand how dating works better? Thanks. 

1. How can you tell whether or not a woman is interested?- the conversation is flowing or she looks relaxed in your company if she smiles is always good sign.

2. Do women have to be initially attracted to you in order to consider dating you or can attraction build over time?  For instance, let's say I talk to a girl who's not initially attracted to me in the hopes that if she gets to know me, she will eventually become attracted to me, is this a good strategy?  Or does a woman know early on whether or not she'd ever date you? - in my experience, over 30s you have a better chance of building attraction over time- 20s it is more lust based-.ie initial attraction. from your other posts though- building a friendship with someone first might be your best chance of finding a romance.

3. Is it better to ask a girl out right away or be her friend first then ask her out? as above-ur going for friendship

4. Assuming the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, what are the most common reasons why a woman would reject going on a date with you? scruffy/ awkward/ tongue-tied demeanors

5. If the girl DOES go on a date with you, what are the most common reasons why she would not want to see you again?- well the date has to have been enjoyable- some common ground/interesting conversation/sharing of good stories etc- would you want to meet a girl again that you found it a strain being in her company

6. How important are looks when it comes to a woman choosing a man? hombre dulce y guapo (sweet and handsome man) I dont know really, Ive done ok with a few quite attractive women and I am no oil painting.

7. And if you think that looks are important, how do you explain that ugly guys are able to date attractive girls? -tell them what they want to hear., compliment their appearance-their achievements- charm them.

8. Let's say you are in a group that meets regularly and there is a girl in there that you want to ask out. Should you go for it right away and ask her out as soon as possible? Or should you wait? I think hold back again-wait and just show interest in getting to know her- but yes f***k it-take a chance then too at some point, its the only way you will get more confident..

9. What is the best way to meet women?  Cold approach? Meeting through friends? Online dating? Im not sure tbh on this one, cold approach maybe- worked for me on current girl, but most times have struggled badly with that approach. you never know- all 3 can work/ all 3 can fail badly- thats life- you keep trying all approaches.

10. If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? I suppose they spend so much time there that they eventually bond with co-workers- a bit similar to the earlier approach about friendship developing into something more.

If I had to pick out one I think maybe No 5 and No 7 are the most important- good luck!

 

[Blind-Sided]

21 hours ago, GuitarGuy7 said:

Hey everyone, 

I have a bunch of dating questions that I would like answers to. ..........

1) If she puts her hand down your pants... that's a good indication.

2) Interest can build. But something has to get her to say yes first

3) Both work.

4) Really?  Fat, thin, ugly, stinky, stupid, smart, political, sloppy, too neat, the way you talk, the way you carry yourself, shy, over confident, not confident enough, old, young, tall, short....... there are as may reasons as there are girls.

5) see #4

6) See #4

7) see #4

8 ) Depends if you want to continue to be in that group.  The problem there is... once that question is asked... it could break the group if you give a creepy vibe

9) You have way too may threads on that already... you don't get to ask that again.

10) I know very few people who met people from work... so... don't taint your own thoughts.

OK... here's the deal... I feel for you... I really do.  But you are trying to make this into a set of instructions on how to get a GF.  Life is dynamic, and it's not that simple.  Since my divorce... I've gone out with a few girls, but I haven't really tried to make any of them my GF.  But... there was one who I wanted to start to date more serious "One on One".  Well... I blew it because I stayed friends too long. (I'm now friend zoned)  That isn't a bad thing because I do need people to be friends with at this point of my life.  But there is a second girl who is nice, and cute, and is 20 years younger than me.  I'm trying to keep her has a friend... but it's not going to work out that way.  I've literally done things to keep her as a friend, (Including talking about other girls) but the reality is... the more time we spend with each other... the more the attraction between us.   There's no reason she should like me the way she does.  I'm not a perfectly fit guy (have a bit of a belly) In my opinion, I'm just a normal looking guy (She says I'm cute) and I'm truly old enough to be her dad !!!! (she says she likes older guys) 

So... to your numbers... going to #4... you are putting out a vibe of desperation, and that is keeping girls from wanting to date you.  Be confident in yourself... and you will find someone. (Girls want a confident guy)   PERIOD.

[LauraXX]

1. How can you tell whether or not a woman is interested?

You'll now. She'll try to be around you as much as possible / laugh at your bad jokes / make eye contact / try to touch you etc.

2. Do women have to be initially attracted to you in order to consider dating you or can attraction build over time? 

I'd say that most women know right away. In my life, there have been few exceptions (and I always ended up regretting going against my gut instinct).

3. Is it better to ask a girl out right away or be her friend first then ask her out? 

Something in between. I wouldn't wanted to be asked out by somebody I consider a friend. But I'd never agree to go on a date with a complete stranger. Get to know her a bit, try to figure out if there's chemistry...and if there is - ask her out.

4. Assuming the girl doesn't have a boyfriend, what are the most common reasons why a woman would reject going on a date with you? 

No attraction / weird or creepy vibes / interested in somebody else / wrong circumstances  / feeling that we wouldn't have much in common anyway (different political views, no sense of humour etc.)

5. If the girl DOES go on a date with you, what are the most common reasons why she would not want to see you again?

Boring conversation / no spark / different political views or different sense of humour etc. / terrible kisser / creepy vibes...

6. How important are looks when it comes to a woman choosing a man? 

Ok, let's be honest here. I think attraction is extremely important. However, that's not neccessarily about good looks. I wouldn't date somebody I'm not attracted to. But I've dated guys that none of my female friends found attractive at all. I only swipe right on about 1% of the men on Tinder, so I guess that makes me very picky. However, I avoid guys that look like male models or extremely athletic etc., because in my experience... what seems to good to be true, usually is. I showed my Tinder matches list to my sister once and she couldn't stop laughing because she thinks I have a weird taste.

7. And if you think that looks are important, how do you explain that ugly guys are able to date attractive girls? 

See above. But also - shallow men & women DO EXIST! There are women who'd date an ugly guy for money. There are men who'd date a stupid and mean woman because she's hot. But I suppose that most people try to find somebody they connect with AND find somewhat attractive.

8. Let's say you are in a group that meets regularly and there is a girl in there that you want to ask out. Should you go for it right away and ask her out as soon as possible? Or should you wait? 

Don't try to build a friendship first, because then she'll see you as exactly that. But make sure that she's interested before you ask her out. There should be at least a bit of flirting first, otherwise it might come off as creepy.

9. What is the best way to meet women?  Cold approach? Meeting through friends? Online dating? 

I'm not a fan of the cold approach. But maybe that's because of where I live. People are more reserved over here in Northern Europe and I've always found cold approaches a bit creepy. Also - why would you ask me out without knowing anything about me? That seems a bit shallow. But I've met guys through work. I've met guys through friends. I've met guys through online dating. All worked fine!

10. If people are giving you the advice to not crap where you eat, then how come a good percentage of people meet their partner through work? 

Well, it depends. In my current job we're a very small team and rely heavily on each other. I'd NEVER date one of the guys there. It would be so awkward if it didn't work out. I love my job, I want to keep it for the foreseeable future and I just wouldn't want to risk that. But that might be different in a larger company. Also, I've met several of my ex boyfriends through work, but those were all jobs I had during my time at university. Nobody stayed in those jobs for long anyway, everyody was dating around.... even if there were break-ups / drama.. nobody really cared that much. So you're the only one who knows what'sappropriate where you work and how much you care about keeping your job