Luna66star Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 I have a friend who I have known for 13 years. I have been there to help him for a majority of the time. He has helped me as well. However I get the feeling at times that he starts to take me for granted. I want to be a really good friend and be there in times of need. Examples are: depending on me a lot and getting mad if I say no. In some cases recently I think what he asks is me going way above and beyond, so I decline the request. Other things include: ignoring my text sometimes, off handed subtle comment about the way I look or cutting me off when I talk about an issue in my life, and to interject about their own affairs. This doesn't always happen but I notice a couple of things put together and wonder if I give too much of my time to this person. I am thinking of downgrading our relationship from friends to more of an acquaintance. Would this make them value me more as a person? Sometimes I think I around for his convenience more often than not. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Putting distance between you won't change this person. But it will make you feel better and open the door to better relationships in your life. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Your friend is acting like a narcissist. His life should be just as important to you as your own life is, apparently. I've had to deal with one all my life. You might try really laying into him about it sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 are you a girl or a boy? Link to post Share on other sites
2BGoodAgain Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 if there is anything more human than it is to take something/someone for granted. it's one thing to be there for someone, it's another being someone's doormat. good people can treat another good person like a doormat. I wish that wasn't the case, but i've seen it too many times.... don't be someone's doormat and mistaken that for supporting someone. real friends don't say 'yes' all the time, etc... as the saying goes... or was it, don't jump your friend without a condom? i forget.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Springsummer Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Yes! I am tired of 'friend' as well. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 19, 2020 Share Posted March 19, 2020 Sometimes we do need to have a clean up of who we hang out with. If someone causes you more stress than pleasure, it's time to let them go. In response to your question about valuing a friendship, downgrading him will likely cause him to value you less rather than more. But if you don't like him that much, does it really matter what he thinks? Link to post Share on other sites
major_merrick Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 To the title question - YES. Some people are too nice and don't know how to say no or to prioritize. My husband tends toward that end of things. He has a bunch of friends and acquaintances, and will eagerly do what he can to help and get involved in their problems. Which makes it a problem for the rest of us. Kindness is often a weakness. Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Yes, you can be too ‘available’. Everyone should have boundaries and enforce them if needed. Your friend sounds ultra needy and that can drain you fast if you let it, Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted March 24, 2020 Share Posted March 24, 2020 Give them an inch and they'll take a mile. There really isn't anything you can do to make them value you more as a person. Best thing you can do is walk away. It's a one way street at best and they're benefiting from it. Link to post Share on other sites
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