Should I break up?

[June2017]

I ve posted about my story here

The only reason I'm posting this again is because I was watching the whole situation before making the final decision.

As I ve mentioned before, I'm Jewish with my dad being Israeli Jew. My grandma still lives in Israel and I love her dearly. I ve been friends with a group of people from university who are all extreme left and have one sided opinions on Israel. I ve always maintained distance from my Israeli roots around my friends and at the university seeing the nature of pro palestinian activity on campus and the hostility against Israelis and Jews.

Last year, I began dating this girl from the group.

In short, she

Supports antisemitic leaders who have clearly been antisemitic in the past
Is friends with anti Israel activists
Has participated in anti israel demonstrations
Is very good friends with all palestinians and other people who are strongly pro Palestine
Supports BDS and boycotting Israel
Believes in destruction of Israel for Free Palestine agenda
Refuses to listen to both perspectives on Israeli-Palestinian issue and only believes the Palestinian side of the story

UPDATED 

Now the reason I'm posting this is because I thought she would have changed since she was my girlfriend. However, she didnt. The college organized Anti Israel day and Israeli Apartheid Week and she attended that where she was dancing with the pro palestinian student activists to Arabic songs. The entire event was demonizing Israel and the activists held BDS campaigns and supported destruction of Israel in favour of Palestine.

Later on, I found out that she is good friends with a girl who is again a BDS supporter, is an advocate for destroying Israel and my girlfriend was also campaigning for her throughout the college for this event.

The ironical thing about my gf is that she studies Turkish studies but she has no problems with Turkish conflict with the Kurds, never actively protests for it etc. Instead, she is very fond of their culture, has been on a year abroad there and is always reading new turkish books etc. When Turkey has committed more human rights violations on the Kurds than Israel.

I never said anything like I have always done because it would erupt into fights and I would be called filthy jew or Zionist in a matter of seconds by the company I keep.

I genuinely thought that while dating me, she , at least she, would try to understand the whole issue from both sides and make informed choices. That her behaviour would change but she never really showed much interest in anything. Instead, she has always pushed her Spanish culture on me. Shes not mature at all and reacts aggressively to anything said against her views. She uses words like dirty tactics, smearing us in defense of anything negative said about our friends and her friends.

She claims she loves me as she has my photo as her wallpaper on her iphone and that we go out together and the sex is great. But I honestly dont think so. 

Is this relationship worth it? Does she even love me? Or should I just finish this and move on? Or am I overreacting?

Edited March 19, 2020 by June2017

[June2017]

4 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

I'm not even Jewish and I wouldn't date someone that openly supports the destruction of Israel, or any other nation for that matter. 

These events I mentioned happened early March before this whole COVID 19 eruption in my country at least. And this really disturbed me because I never thought she would still hold those views.

I had a suspicion because she was still supporting a hugely hateful and antisemitic person but yet again she would say he was smeared. But when she went those events and showed support for the girl, it just put me off completely.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you've posted about her before, and received a nearly-unanimous response to end this relationship. 

Nothing has changed since then, according to your update. Thus, the response you will get from posters here will likely be the same.

I genuinely can't fathom why you're insisting on dragging this relationship out. 

Edited March 20, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[Mystery4u]

I have never understood the whole Israel/Palestine issue and don't really care to know it to be honest, but if you are using political views as a measure of whether you should be in a relationship with someone then you have a lot of growing up to do.

Sounds like neither of you are ready for a committed long term relationship where you accept differences in each other, so yes you should break up until you are more mature.

[manfrombelow2]

When you have to go online asking strangers THIS question then yes, it's time for you to break up, for whatever reason there is.

[June2017]

7 hours ago, Mystery4u said:

I have never understood the whole Israel/Palestine issue and don't really care to know it to be honest, but if you are using political views as a measure of whether you should be in a relationship with someone then you have a lot of growing up to do.

Sounds like neither of you are ready for a committed long term relationship where you accept differences in each other, so yes you should break up until you are more mature.

It's not a measure. It's how that works? You say it's okay to be in a relationship with someone who hates the core of your identity due to propaganda? This isnt basic differences. Its extreme fanaticism which is not just political differences.

[June2017]

7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

OP, you've posted about her before, and received a nearly-unanimous response to end this relationship. 

Nothing has changed since then, according to your update. Thus, the response you will get from posters here will likely be the same.

I genuinely can't fathom why you're insisting on dragging this relationship out. 

But the person below says I'm immature. Because political differences dont mean anything ?

 

This is the problem. Its responses like these which stop me making me confused? Could you answer this?

[ExpatInItaly]

6 hours ago, June2017 said:

But the person below says I'm immature. Because political differences dont mean anything ?

 

This is the problem. Its responses like these which stop me making me confused? Could you answer this?

As I said in your other threads about her, you two are fundamentally incompatible. My opinion hasn't changed. 

I don't mean to be insensitive, but is there a reason you are so paralyzed in making your own choices?

[smackie9]

It's a no brainer....you date those who share your political views/ moral values and beliefs. You two are not compatible, so get on with it and dump her. "Expecting" her to "change" her views is asinine. 

[June2017]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

As I said in your other threads about her, you two are fundamentally incompatible. My opinion hasn't changed. 

I don't mean to be insensitive, but is there a reason you are so paralyzed in making your own choices?

I was waiting to see if she would attend these events . 

[June2017]

2 hours ago, smackie9 said:

It's a no brainer....you date those who share your political views/ moral values and beliefs. You two are not compatible, so get on with it and dump her. "Expecting" her to "change" her views is asinine. 

Do you think she loved me at all?

[ExpatInItaly]

5 minutes ago, June2017 said:

I was waiting to see if she would attend these events . 

Ok. And now that she has?

[Uptown182]

I couldn’t date someone who was the extreme opposite of me politically.  But for you, it’s as if she hating part of who your are, if she feels so strongly I can’t even understand how you two got together in the first place.  If I met a man with her views I’d be so put off, I don’t see how I’d be able to find him attractive in any way, let alone date him. 

 

Edited March 20, 2020 by Uptown182

[June2017]

16 minutes ago, Uptown182 said:

I couldn’t date someone who was the extreme opposite of me politically.  But for you, it’s as if she hating part of who your are, if she feels so strongly I can’t even understand how you two got together in the first place.  If I met a man with her views I’d be so put off, I don’t see how I’d be able to find him attractive in any way, let alone date him. 

 

Yeah. I'm not associating with Israel hence I'm liked and included. Otherwise my gf and my friends hate anyone who tries to reason with them on this topic.

We got together solely because I went to her country and she was the one who was helpful in guiding me via texting / calls etc. As I didnt know the language or anything. I was upset with my love life as I messed up with a girl I loved before and we couldn't be together because I was acting dumb with her. That whole incident had made me angry and frustrated. I hated her (deep down I knew it was not her fault and she was willing to work it out but I was too stupid to accept it) and when my gf was helping me , I felt she was so nice and amazing.

Now, I really regret treating my previous one like that. Considering I liked her so much and she was not politically motivated at all.

My gf also dresses in a revealing way so when we met when she came during holiday, I got attracted by the physical aspect like the flaunting and she was quite touchy with me.

That's how we got together.

Otherwise I had known her since 2016 and while she dressed revealing that time as well, I wasnt into her at all.

Edited March 20, 2020 by June2017

[June2017]

37 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Ok. And now that she has?

I ve decided what to do. But please do look at this response I made to another comment 

"

. I'm not associating with Israel hence I'm liked and included. Otherwise my gf and my friends hate anyone who tries to reason with them on this topic.

We got together solely because I went to her country and she was the one who was helpful in guiding me via texting / calls etc. As I didnt know the language or anything. I was upset with my love life as I messed up with a girl I loved before and we couldn't be together because I was acting dumb with her. That whole incident had made me angry and frustrated. I hated her (deep down I knew it was not her fault and she was willing to work it out but I was too stupid to accept it) and when my gf was helping me , I felt she was so nice and amazing.

Now, I really regret treating my previous one like that. Considering I liked her so much and she was not politically motivated at all.

My gf also dresses in a revealing way so when we met when she came during holiday, I got attracted by the physical aspect like the flaunting and she was quite touchy with me.

That's how we got together.

Otherwise I had known her since 2016 and while she dressed revealing that time as well, I wasnt into her at all".

Edited March 20, 2020 by June2017

[smackie9]

2 hours ago, June2017 said:

Do you think she loved me at all?

Only she can answer that.

[Gr8fuln2020]

21 hours ago, June2017 said:

I ve posted about my story here

The only reason I'm posting this again is because I was watching the whole situation before making the final decision.

As I ve mentioned before, I'm Jewish with my dad being Israeli Jew. My grandma still lives in Israel and I love her dearly. I ve been friends with a group of people from university who are all extreme left and have one sided opinions on Israel. I ve always maintained distance from my Israeli roots around my friends and at the university seeing the nature of pro palestinian activity on campus and the hostility against Israelis and Jews.

Last year, I began dating this girl from the group.

In short, she

Supports antisemitic leaders who have clearly been antisemitic in the past
Is friends with anti Israel activists
Has participated in anti israel demonstrations
Is very good friends with all palestinians and other people who are strongly pro Palestine
Supports BDS and boycotting Israel
Believes in destruction of Israel for Free Palestine agenda
Refuses to listen to both perspectives on Israeli-Palestinian issue and only believes the Palestinian side of the story

UPDATED 

Now the reason I'm posting this is because I thought she would have changed since she was my girlfriend. However, she didnt. The college organized Anti Israel day and Israeli Apartheid Week and she attended that where she was dancing with the pro palestinian student activists to Arabic songs. The entire event was demonizing Israel and the activists held BDS campaigns and supported destruction of Israel in favour of Palestine.

Later on, I found out that she is good friends with a girl who is again a BDS supporter, is an advocate for destroying Israel and my girlfriend was also campaigning for her throughout the college for this event.

The ironical thing about my gf is that she studies Turkish studies but she has no problems with Turkish conflict with the Kurds, never actively protests for it etc. Instead, she is very fond of their culture, has been on a year abroad there and is always reading new turkish books etc. When Turkey has committed more human rights violations on the Kurds than Israel.

I never said anything like I have always done because it would erupt into fights and I would be called filthy jew or Zionist in a matter of seconds by the company I keep.

I genuinely thought that while dating me, she , at least she, would try to understand the whole issue from both sides and make informed choices. That her behaviour would change but she never really showed much interest in anything. Instead, she has always pushed her Spanish culture on me. Shes not mature at all and reacts aggressively to anything said against her views. She uses words like dirty tactics, smearing us in defense of anything negative said about our friends and her friends.

She claims she loves me as she has my photo as her wallpaper on her iphone and that we go out together and the sex is great. But I honestly dont think so. 

Is this relationship worth it? Does she even love me? Or should I just finish this and move on? Or am I overreacting?

She is not a good person. Full of anger, hate. I would never be involved with someone like that.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, June2017 said:

I ve decided what to do. But please do look at this response I made to another comment 

I did. 

All you really do in these threads is repeat all her negative traits. You sometimes add further details, but the general points are always the same thing. It's not as though you're shedding new light on the incompatibility that has always been there. 

I am puzzled as to why you keep going around in circles. You're getting something out of staying with her. Is it great sex? The perceived social status of having a girlfriend? What?

[June2017]

7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I did. 

All you really do in these threads is repeat all her negative traits. You sometimes add further details, but the general points are always the same thing. It's not as though you're shedding new light on the incompatibility that has always been there. 

I am puzzled as to why you keep going around in circles. You're getting something out of staying with her. Is it great sex? The perceived social status of having a girlfriend? What?

No I mentioned how we got together based on the comment left by the user.

At least you could give your opinions on that?

[June2017]

51 minutes ago, Gr8fuln2020 said:

She is not a good person. Full of anger, hate. I would never be involved with someone like that.

I ve decided to call it quits . Just waiting for her to get back home.

[preraph]

Look, most young people are somewhat ignorant with limited informatin and just as they used to say "jump on the bandwagon."  That said, she's old enough she ought to have at least had a history lesson the Holocaust by now.  I wouldn't stay with someone who either can't think for herself or simply has no respect like that.  

[ExpatInItaly]

4 minutes ago, June2017 said:

No I mentioned how we got together based on the comment left by the user.

At least you could give your opinions on that?

It's rather irrelevant how you got together when it's very obvious that you are not a match, but since you asked:

She was a girlfriend of convenience for you. The circumstances of how you started dating are not exactly conducive to anything long term. 

Can I ask, genuinely, why that even matters at this point?

Edited March 20, 2020 by ExpatInItaly

[June2017]

52 minutes ago, preraph said:

Look, most young people are somewhat ignorant with limited informatin and just as they used to say "jump on the bandwagon."  That said, she's old enough she ought to have at least had a history lesson the Holocaust by now.  I wouldn't stay with someone who either can't think for herself or simply has no respect like that.  

She has virtually no interest in anything Jewish or anything with me. Like I ve mentioned in my older threads, she likes all facebook pages which relate to her interests or friends but none related to me.

[June2017]

52 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It's rather irrelevant how you got together when it's very obvious that you are not a match, but since you asked:

She was a girlfriend of convenience for you. The circumstances of how you started dating are not exactly conducive to anything long term. 

Can I ask, genuinely, why that even matters at this point?

Do you see this as a rebound as well? My friend said so because he kept saying that I only decided to date her because I was frustrated with what happened with the girl I was into before and also because like you said it was convenient since she belonged to the country I had moved to?

I ve seen my ex twice and I ve always regretted it and I was also willing to try to speak to her if we met. We haven't yet met properly.

[lurker74]

I would end it unless you take some joy with having sex with someone who hates you. You wouldn't be the first to enjoy that so don't feel too badly if you do.