Letschill Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 My one friend has a great job. He's an accountant but he can't get a date to save his life. My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. This confuses me as to what girls actually value. What do you want? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
xxcazaxx Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Kindness and honesty would be my top two. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) Re your accountant friend, a great job isn't enough to attract a partner. There needs to be social skills and personality too. Re the unemployed drunk, he may be landing girls but do they want anything with him which is meaningful? And are the the kind of women you'd want? Based on your brief description, neither is a good candidate for a relationship. What do I value? I can't speak for any other woman, but I value stability, thoughtfulness, gentleness, silliness, social skills, and a similar ethical outlook to me. Edited March 20, 2020 by basil67 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 33 minutes ago, Letschill said: My one friend has a great job. He's an accountant but he can't get a date to save his life. My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. This confuses me as to what girls actually value. What do you want? One is good looking the other isn't. Come on, you already know. Compare the two men. What are the factors? Is one less picky? Is one better looking? In better shape. It is not only about the job. Not even close. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 While it's most certainly more than the job, it's also more than looks. It's the whole package. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 17 minutes ago, basil67 said: While it's most certainly more than the job, it's also more than looks. It's the whole package. And there it is...the generic response that EVERYONE is looking for. 😁 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) @Gr8fuln2020 I don't know where you're going with that comment. Edited March 20, 2020 by basil67 Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Of course everyone, ultimately, wants the 'whole package'. Subjective as the question that has been posted....and in the end, doesn't get people far by over analyzing. Nothing more. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 2 hours ago, Letschill said: My one friend has a great job. He's an accountant but he can't get a date to save his life. My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. This confuses me as to what girls actually value. What do you want? your accountant friend is probably nerdy and your other friend is probably good looking and a smooth talker Edited March 20, 2020 by alphamale 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 2 hours ago, basil67 said: ...and a similar ethical outlook to me. what does this mean basil67? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Shared morals and values 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ellener Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 3 hours ago, Letschill said: he continues to sleep with them for months. hmm, must be good at sex and fairly low maintenance otherwise...saying that he's not settling down or marrying any of them either...! If he's sleeping with 3 or 4 a month he doesn't really have time for a job...😁 1 Link to post Share on other sites
strawberryshortstack Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 3 hours ago, Letschill said: My one friend has a great job. He's an accountant but he can't get a date to save his life. My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. This confuses me as to what girls actually value. What do you want? it depends on the woman. I value kindness, honesty, responsibility, intelligence, and confidence (NOT to be confused with cockiness/arrogance). Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Letschill said: My one friend has a great job. He's an accountant but he can't get a date to save his life. My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. This confuses me as to what girls actually value. What do you want? The problem with a "great job" is that it is not visible. Say, if your friend (let's call him A) has a "great job" but he has bad hairstyle, bad teeth, bad fashion style, bad communication skills, bad posture, is awkward around women or sth like that... it is totally reasonable why he hasn't had much luck in the realm of romance. On the contrary, the other friend (let's call him B) might not have a steady job and is a jerk or even a**hole, but he has good communication skills, good hairstyle, is full of confidence and knows how to sweet talk... then it's obvious he has more sex than A. You can't try to logic when it comes to the game of dating and seduction because it's all about human psychology, not mathematics where 1+1 must be 2. Edited March 20, 2020 by thaygiaogiang 1 Link to post Share on other sites
manfrombelow2 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) And don't forget great sex. Exorcism-level sex with lots of eye-rolling and screams can imprint a very very very sweet impression in a woman's mind. Edited March 20, 2020 by thaygiaogiang Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 oh yes - I forgot the fantastic sex thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
IntBrowser Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 4 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: And there it is...the generic response that EVERYONE is looking for. 😁 she has to look good to expect the whole package 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 There's a difference between being able to attract a woman, firstly through physical looks, then conversation and positive engagement to create that 'spark' that makes them want to spend more time with you, and making them see a possible long term relationship with you, through security, stability, kindness and similar values etc. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 1 hour ago, basil67 said: oh yes - I forgot the fantastic sex thing. Just my experience as a dude but great sex always seemed like a "keep the woman" vs a "get the woman" thing. It can be really important for women. And men too. I couldn't stay with a woman where the sex is mediocre. Ok sorry I digress. Question: I haven't heard any women mention conversation. Maybe that's communication. I appear to be gifted in the art of conversation and almost any woman I've dated has commented favorbaly on it. I always thought that was an important attractive feature of me. Perhaps it isn't as important as I thought? Doh! Link to post Share on other sites
Interstellar Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 A sense of humor. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Kindness, compassion, generosity of spirit Intelligence Passion, drive in life Mutual attraction and sensual compatibility Financial stability, prudence Shared desired for lasting true love These are the biggies for me 2 Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) The drunks probably loosely laid back n fun , casually women love that.Wish l knew why they like me l could sell it , but l think it's a personality thing they see in my face or something don't even have to talk to them but l have been told l just look loose laid back too. Some guys also just have sex appeal too just like some women your friends probably loaded with it. My brother probably is too he's a druggo bum , women love him. He can't keep one though whatever he has is only good for sleeping withem. Edited March 20, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 7 hours ago, Letschill said: My one friend has a great job. He's an accountant but he can't get a date to save his life. My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. This confuses me as to what girls actually value. What do you want? Sooooooooooo many men have this attitude. The attitude of "Women should value a man who makes a good living". Yet we have men out here calling women "Gold diggers" if they say they value a man who makes a good living. Many men would be utterly repulsed if a woman, when asked what she wants in a man, replied that she wants a man with money. Yet this is exactly what many men want women to want. It's how they think they can snag a good woman. Get a good job, then boom, you're all set to bag a babe. It's a prescription they can follow with expected results and they like that. But then you have other men who want woman to value romance (the anti-thesis of money). They want women to value a man's heart and who he is as a person. Or, his personality or intelligence. Some guys want women to want men with big muscles and abs. All these guys are in competition but women have evolved in terms of what they want. They don't just want the guy with one good trait only, like a good job. They want the guy with more than one trait - they want the guy with the good job who is also sweet and romantic. This is where men fumble. They can't seem to do more than one thing at a time, they can't walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. They're going to have to step it up. Hell, women are out here copying pornstar's for y'all, and working. Step it up, guys. Edited March 20, 2020 by snowcones 2 Link to post Share on other sites
littleblackheart Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 8 hours ago, Letschill said: My other friend can't keep steady work and is a drunk and gets about 3-4 new women a month.And he continues to sleep with them for months. Who says these girls value him? Maybe they too want a casual relationship with him, or he knows how to play a crowd. So it's more about the guy's skillset and what he has to offer than what 'girls' value. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 good point LBH. He's a place holder, not a guy with value. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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