chillii Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, snowcones said: Sooooooooooo many men have this attitude. The attitude of "Women should value a man who makes a good living". Yet we have men out here calling women "Gold diggers" if they say they value a man who makes a good living. Many men would be utterly repulsed if a woman, when asked what she wants in a man, replied that she wants a man with money. Yet this is exactly what many men want women to want. It's how they think they can snag a good woman. Get a good job, then boom, you're all set to bag a babe. It's a prescription they can follow with expected results and they like that. But then you have other men who want woman to value romance (the anti-thesis of money). They want women to value a man's heart and who he is as a person. Or, his personality or intelligence. Some guys want women to want men with big muscles and abs. All these guys are in competition but women have evolved in terms of what they want. They don't just want the guy with one good trait only, like a good job. They want the guy with more than one trait - they want the guy with the good job who is also sweet and romantic. This is where men fumble. They can't seem to do more than one thing at a time, they can't walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. They're going to have to step it up. Hell, women are out here copying pornstar's for y'all, and working. Step it up, guys. l think you missed his line about he's drunk friend , or mine about my druggo brother . He wouldn't step it up for anyone matter of fact he's about as low as it gets .PS , but now l've just read the place holder value thing , so that actually explains that . Edited March 20, 2020 by chillii 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 6 hours ago, IntBrowser said: she has to look good to expect the whole package My 'whole package' doesn't include looks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) Loyalty, honesty, good work ethics, responsible. Edited March 20, 2020 by smackie9 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Deepremorse5 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Intelligence, humility and Maturity. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 14 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: And there it is...the generic response that EVERYONE is looking for. 😁 Well the OP asks a generic question, what do women want (as if they are monolithic), and gets a generic answer. The short answer is the whole package. Of course no one is looking for that, they want an easy answer, a convenient check list. Doesn't work that way, although there are plenty of people ready to sell you such advice at $49.99 a lesson. The whole package is a great answer in my view as the OP is looking at this all wrong. One has to really be missing the boat to think the example provided is even confusing or to think that any cogent answer can be given from the information provided. So the OP should think more in terms of the whole package...and try to see it like women may, not just project. Even then that is not enough. It really comes down to what do the women you want, want. Of course there are two huge barriers to answering that question, knowing what you want in a non-trivial manner, and being able to put yourself in those womens' shoes or know some of them to get their input or know some man who has had success with such women. Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Here is a recent thread on this topic with lots of input. There are some linked subthreads in it on basically the same topic that are very worth reading too IMO. https://www.loveshack.org/forums/topic/588565-what-do-women-find-attractive/?do=findComment&comment=7688569 Here is another interesting one as well... https://www.loveshack.org/forums/topic/589652-women-prefer-psychopaths/?do=findComment&comment=7707526 Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 17 hours ago, Gr8fuln2020 said: One is good looking the other isn't. Come on, you already know. Compare the two men. What are the factors? Is one less picky? Is one better looking? In better shape. It is not only about the job. Not even close. Yeah believe that if it makes you sleep well at night. Link to post Share on other sites
SummerDreams Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 12 hours ago, IntBrowser said: she has to look good to expect the whole package Everything in your sentence is subjective. Her "good" looks and the "whole package". So I don't know how your sentence helps the progress of the discussion tbh. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 Your drunk friend is no doubt out at the bars socializing more and meeting more women. So he has more in common with that set of women, too. Me, I like interesting creative guys with some extra hair on their heads. Link to post Share on other sites
Gr8fuln2020 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) 38 minutes ago, SummerDreams said: Yeah believe that if it makes you sleep well at night. I am indifferent, actually. I'm not sure what you object to. I could of kept going with that thread to indicate that it could have been for many reasons. I was suggesting that since the OP knows these two men that she could likely surmise why one gets more dates than the other. You said it yourself in a later post...'subjective.' My point. As far as furthering the discussion....we are all going to list the many of the same subjective things that every post like this entails. Edited March 20, 2020 by Gr8fuln2020 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 10 hours ago, snowcones said: Sooooooooooo many men have this attitude. The attitude of "Women should value a man who makes a good living". Yet we have men out here calling women "Gold diggers" if they say they value a man who makes a good living. Many men would be utterly repulsed if a woman, when asked what she wants in a man, replied that she wants a man with money. Yet this is exactly what many men want women to want. It's how they think they can snag a good woman. Get a good job, then boom, you're all set to bag a babe. It's a prescription they can follow with expected results and they like that. But then you have other men who want woman to value romance (the anti-thesis of money). They want women to value a man's heart and who he is as a person. Or, his personality or intelligence. Some guys want women to want men with big muscles and abs. All these guys are in competition but women have evolved in terms of what they want. They don't just want the guy with one good trait only, like a good job. They want the guy with more than one trait - they want the guy with the good job who is also sweet and romantic. This is where men fumble. They can't seem to do more than one thing at a time, they can't walk and chew bubblegum at the same time. They're going to have to step it up. Hell, women are out here copying pornstar's for y'all, and working. Step it up, guys. Not true What I’ve seen in my dating life over the last 25 yrs... 1 the only times women have jobs in ahigher caste system than the man she married is when thry were in college or earlier when they met not knowing what they would become. 2 in talking to women say in their 30s say after a marriage and they have a successful career thry tend to get a man who is in the same caste as them unless they make more money. Because of lifestyle maintains. by caste I mean one caste would be doctors, lawyers, senuor corporate execs. Another one may be respectable mid management career not super wealthy but combine income puts them in upper middle class. Another caste may be professional series that might not pay well but are respected like teachers, social workers, civil servants. The lower caste may be low education level like construction, trades, hourly pay. when younger people dating may focus more short term fun and attraction vs long term stability. domething else going on is a fear of settling by a subset of women. Thea the may be de ent looking and well grounded but there say isn’t that fantasy spark they want. Other women they are fine settling knowing nobody is perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
SumGuy Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 7 minutes ago, Ami1uwant said: Another caste may be professional series that might not pay well but are respected like teachers, social workers, civil servants. The lower caste may be low education level like construction, trades, hourly pay. Clearly you do not live in the US or been to one of our many motor vehicle departments. Trades get much more respect, and around here charge like 75-100 USD per hour, which for that person working for themselves is very good indeed. I say person as the last two trades people had both were women, one a plumber other HVAC. Actually trades take a fair bit more education and stricter licensing around here than most civil servants and many teachers it seems. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 What I learned from this site is that women do NOT value a guy who always wants or insists on paying for dinner. That point has become abundantly clear. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 But no one should ever ask you out without bring their own money to pay because they can't expect someone they ask out to always have money for that. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) For meeting women, any guy who can hold a conversation with them has at least half a chance, obviously more needed to sustain the relationship, but conversation skills are any average guy's bread and butter. then if he owns a house also, now we are into good catch territory. I dont know ladies, correct me if I am wrong! Edited March 20, 2020 by Foxhall Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 1 hour ago, SumGuy said: Clearly you do not live in the US or been to one of our many motor vehicle departments. Trades get much more respect, and around here charge like 75-100 USD per hour, which for that person working for themselves is very good indeed. I say person as the last two trades people had both were women, one a plumber other HVAC. Actually trades take a fair bit more education and stricter licensing around here than most civil servants and many teachers it seems. I’m in the USA...I’m not saying thry cant get dates. trades you generally only need associates if that. how many female doctors or lawyers marry a mechanic, electrician, or construction who are not corporate senior managers or owners? If you find one I bet they dated before they were 23. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 5 minutes ago, Foxhall said: I dont know ladies, correct me if I am wrong! I've been laughing at the mansplaining on this thread - nice to see a male poster who's open to letting women explain for themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 I'm a woman. Looks/charm might catch my attention for a second, but what grabs me and keeps me is a good guy - trustworthy, caring, and busy living his life without trying to get anything over on someone else. As long as the guy isn't repulsive, looks aren't anywhere near the top of the list. And charming usually = full of ****. But to be fair, when I was in my twenties looks probably were a big consideration. So it depends on what age group you're looking at. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
balletomane Posted March 20, 2020 Share Posted March 20, 2020 (edited) I met my boyfriend online. The immediate things that caught my attention were his humour and his ability to tell a good story in a few words. He came across as well-read and intelligent. He looked OK in his photos, not ravishingly handsome, but the thing that interested me there was that the photos all showed him absorbed in some activity or hobby or other. He wasn't just posing for a dating site. I got the sense that the photos really did reflect his daily life, and it turned out I was right. When my parents eventually met him, they told me he seemed "kind and gentle". To that I'd add honest, humble, and with humour that matches mine. Our values are closely aligned, and we have sufficient common interests to keep us comfortable and sufficient diverging interests to keep us from being bored. I wouldn't claim to speak for "what women want", though. Different people want different things. Edited March 20, 2020 by balletomane 1 Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 3 hours ago, preraph said: But no one should ever ask you out without bring their own money to pay because they can't expect someone they ask out to always have money for that. Preraph, I normally agree with many of your posts but not on this one. To me, if I ask someone OUT then they (the lady) should ASSUME/KNOW that I intend on paying for the date THAT I ORIGINATED. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Oh I agree, I don't know if you misunderstood what I was saying. I'm just saying it's fine to let the other people share expenses sometimes but you can't ask them out without being prepared to pay unless you have a clear agreement that you're always going to go dutch. But I think most places if you ask out, you should be prepared to pay. I actually have one friend who will take advantage of the whoever asks the other one to lunch will pay and finagle it to where he never actually asked me to lunch but hints around until I ask him. We could have lunch a lot more often if he would offer to pay part of the time like all my girlfriends do. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, simpycurious said: What I learned from this site is that women do NOT value a guy who always wants or insists on paying for dinner. That point has become abundantly clear. Simpy, I think most women still do. Women might say they don’t care, but all things equal, a guy who offers to pay will always get bonus points from most women. As for the question of the thread: Basically, we value qualities like the ones @simpycurious has Edited March 21, 2020 by Cookiesandough Link to post Share on other sites
simpycurious Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, preraph said: Oh I agree, I don't know if you misunderstood what I was saying. I'm just saying it's fine to let the other people share expenses sometimes but you can't ask them out without being prepared to pay unless you have a clear agreement that you're always going to go dutch. But I think most places if you ask out, you should be prepared to pay. I actually have one friend who will take advantage of the whoever asks the other one to lunch will pay and finagle it to where he never actually asked me to lunch but hints around until I ask him. We could have lunch a lot more often if he would offer to pay part of the time like all my girlfriends do. Oh ok my apologies. I will not say what I want to say about your friend (cause he's your friend) but I will say that being cheap is a really bad trait to have. Edited March 21, 2020 by simpycurious 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Spider Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 Looks, charm, and character like intelligence/sense of humor/compassion etc 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted March 21, 2020 Share Posted March 21, 2020 @simplycurious everything I've written so far plus the ability to stand his ground if I get too overbearing or ask too much. Link to post Share on other sites
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